I placed my giant purse on the floor in front of my padded chair and lifted my hands. The kids were temporarily settled a few seats down, coloring pages in hand, as my husband and I did our best to engage in our church’s prayer night. While the songs overflowed from the stage, I tried to focus — but my shoulders were heavy. I still felt the jagged edges of so many different areas in my life that seemed to scrape against my joy.
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I assume that walking in obedience means the path ahead will be smooth. That’s exactly what I expected, even in the middle of the exhaustion that came with leaving Iceland last year and settling back in the States.
Instead of being rejuvenated by this new season, my husband and I were weary in so many ways.
But we made it to that prayer night, trying to focus and inquire of God over our church and most definitely over ourselves. We desperately needed to hear from God in the midst of our struggle — for everything we didn’t understand in the middle of our yes.
There’s a story in the Bible about Rebekah, the wife of Isaac, Abraham’s son, and how she had questions about the twin babies that grew within her womb. The Bible gives us a clear picture of her process.
The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?” So she went to inquire of the Lord.
Genesis 25:22 NIV
She went to inquire of the Lord. I have read that passage and sentence multiple times, and even wrote a poem inspired by it. But it takes on a more challenging meaning in times of transition. During that hard season, I didn’t want to turn my face toward inquiring. I grasped for comfort, safety, and quick answers. Instead of anchoring my heart through abiding, I found myself jumping to different sources.
Hmm, what does Google have to say about this? What is the opinion of those around me? What have I done in the past?
That night, remembering the simple, prayerful actions of Rebekah, I lowered my hands and clasped them below my chin. In the middle of that prayer and worship set, I whispered, “What’s going on, Lord? I feel like I am truly between a rock and a hard place.”
In that instant, instead of the reprimand I expected, I sensed the Lord smiling at me.
“Didn’t you ask to be sharpened in the season?” His gentle question pressed into my heart.
Now I don’t recall intentionally praying to be sharpened. But there I was, feeling the tension that had caught me by surprise, but not God. I laughed in that dim sanctuary, God’s voice echoing in my heart as my kids colored fiercely beside me, the ends of their waxy instruments filing down with the effort.
Knives that have been made dull through use don’t get sharpened by flimsy materials; they get sharpened by stone, by rock. Sharpening happens when those tools are rubbed against hard materials that are not comfortable. I was definitely not comfortable, but somehow the circumstances pushing against my life were shaping me. God also reminded me that when flint strikes against steel, sparks fly. I needed joy to be sparked in my life. Joy that didn’t come from the right circumstances, but overflowed out of the leaned-in, inquiring posture of my heart.
These are not the type of devotional messages that I necessarily enjoy. I desire comfort; I like to be cozy. I want to be reminded that I am tucked under the shadow of God’s wings and feel the softness of His feathers upon me.
But comfort doesn’t often move us forward. Sandy soft places aren’t very good anchors. And the process of building our lives on God’s rocky, firm foundation might not be as smooth as we wish. There may be pressing and squeezing, molding and rearranging, and lots of discomfort. Even as we are being sharpened, maybe the words from our mouths come out sharper. Perhaps we are rawer, and situations feel heavier than they would have otherwise.
But we can set our face towards the same sun that Rebekah did.
We can posture our hearts toward the same God she inquired of.
We can lift our own hands in worship to the One she submitted to,
the hands of the One who is ever, always forming us.
And yes, sparking joy along the way.
I love this word picture of being honed & the spark of joy God provides! We appreciate the comfy all the more as we are being sharpened. Blessings (((0)))
Thank you, Jenny, for this message of encouragement. I definitely needed it in my current season.
Thank you Jenny…
yes we can do what others have done that have walked before us \0/
Thank you Jenny! I love this. Hugs and prayers ❤️
Dear Jenny……I really found joy in your devotion today. The part that really reminded me and opened my eyes was when you told us, ” God also reminded me that when fleet strikes against steel, sparks fly. I need joy to be sparked in my life. I have received some, but there is one thing that I still have not received joy on and that is my 55 year old son and his wife, not allowing me to see or speak to my one grandchild, a boy who just turned 15 on Friday. I have not seen or even been able to talk to him since he was 11. The story about that is long and have been 5 years now. The shocking thing is that I found out why. It is due to the fact that I am a Christian and I say that proudly and joy. I know that God is working behind the scenes and I need to get myself through this season with the help of Jesus and my Holy Spirit.Thank you Jenny for your wise words and it has given me some very much needed encouragement, as I know that something through God will come at some time. I just need to be patient. I send you my love and prayers for your wonderful devotion today…………Betsy Basile
I almost feel silly when I think of how many times I start my comments to the in(courage) posts with WOW.
But actually it’s a confirmation that you, Jenny, and many of the other writers are in-tune with the Lord and openly share your experiences with us, which gives me so much HOPE. This spoke volumes to me today, with the season I am in, and reading it confirmed to my soul that God is working in me. You are spot on about wanting to feel comfortable and not wanting to inquire with God and seeking help from other sources. The analogy of how knives are sharpened was eye opening! Thank you for sharing this wisdom.
♥Christine
Can you pray for me or offer your wisdom? I am exhausted caring for two under three while working part time. I know I’m blessed to do both. But part of me wonders why life has to be so physically demanding and stressful. Taking care of a toddler and a baby is a major workout and the mental load is endless. Any advice?
Jenny love all you wrote in today’s devotion. Yes I must admit I am not good and learning to lean in when life is pressed hard to God. Especially in session I have to make to do with Family things. As I have Family think Dawn will do it or Dawn will do it when better. They keep pressing on how are you now are you doing this and this to get better. As I broke my ankle thankfully I didn’t need sergury on it. But I have physio to do on it. Exercise to do on it at home. As I do the cleaning of my Dad house Monday to Friday. As he can’t do it as has dementia now. Not that bad at the moment. I now with my broken ankle can go do his house. My sisters go at night. Have done even before all this happened to me. They keep asking questions when are going to see them again about your ankle. Do you have physio. When will you be able to walk on it again without the boot. I know them they are not saved. I know they care in their own way. But asking so as I can get back to ours Dad’s. As last time I broke my other ankle I had to have sergury on it. They said the same stuff. Then when I was able to go back to my Dad’s. Oh good your able to do Dad’s again. I feel this time God is saying I have to still pray about. But to sore at the moment to go only three days not the five. I could be wrong in that. As I have hight blood pressure and tablets keeping at bay. It got to me the stress of doing my Dad with my ankle that I broke first and had to have sergury on it. Giving me pain there years after having pins in it. It take me longer doing my Dad’s as in pain. But I do it for the Love of the Lord and my Dad. But people have told me I also have to think of my health. I feel God of saying do less. But my sister’s will say as like that. Will say Dawn what are you doing the other days now back to walking on both feet again. Telling them if I pray and definitely feel God is saying do less days. I get sparks from them. So it a hard one. But I need to be sparked up to do what God says. I am the type of person. I can’t do with people like my sister’s say Dawn it will be good for you do your Dad’s Monday to Friday. It will give you something to do. Wy can’t you rather that sit at home all day. I don’t like having to stand up to them. As rows start. So it learning lean on God when life is pressed hard against you. Doing what God says if saying that. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland
What joy? What is it like? Do you feel it? I haven’t had the “joy of the Lord” – nor his peace either for that matter – in a long time now. I could maybe think I can survive the hard rocky time I’m in if I had some of that joy and peace to sustain and encourage me. As it is I’m barely hanging on to an increasingly meager faith.
What joy? What is it like? Do you feel it? I haven’t had the “joy of the Lord” – nor his peace either for that matter – in a long time now. I could maybe think I can survive the hard rocky time I’m in if I had some of that joy and peace to sustain and encourage me. As it is I’m barely hanging on to an increasingly meager faith.