About the Author

Mary is a writer and speaker who lives for good books, spicy queso, and television marathons – but lives because of God’s grace. She writes about giving up on perfect and finding truth in unexpected places at MaryCarver.com. Mary and her husband live in Kansas City with their two daughters.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
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(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
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  1. I am not really sure if I prefer to be taken by surprise with a change or have advance knowledge of an upcoming change. Either way, it is so unsettling and stressful and causes such anxiety until I remember to let God be God and do what God does best. It doesn’t always happen quickly but eventually the “aha” moment happens.

  2. Thankyou . I am in that storm . Age 76 and hubby 78 . We had 3 weeks notice to move from our daughters basement as they didn’t want our Christian influence now on their 10 and 14 yr old kids that we had been looking after as well as paying hi rent . Finances made us move from BC across Canada to Nova Scotia in June and it’s culture shock as well as heartache . We couldn’t find rental so had to purchase a house with lots of problems . My car 1998 didn’t make their safety rules re rocker panel and no body worker could do till next January snd my insurance ran out in BC for september – we had to get another . It’s a stormy time in Our life too . But God is our Captain the best and will guide us thru the storm one day. Thanks for the assurance today .

    • Dear Cheryl………..I understand how unhappy and hurt you and your husband must feel. I am 78 years old next week. I am praying for you and your family that our Lord will somehow get you out of this frightening time as I pray for myself. I always need to remind myself that God works on his own timeline and the wait can be painful too. We will get through this, Cheryl….Betsy B.

  3. Dear Mary……….Your devotional was very well written and something that I could understand. I am dreading to start a new season, a big one that pushes me back to happier days, otherwise I would sit and cry.There have already been 3 serious and frightening changes that I have prayed and prayed and prayed, and I know that is what God wants us to do, but some required a too quick time frame and the other one is still going on after 5 years and many prayers and tears. The season that has started a dark one. My birthday starts with my birthday next week where I will be 78. Then all the holidays that follow up to Christmas and New Years Eve (my 58 year old beloved father died that day ) many years ago, but he was my best friend, my supporter and loved me deeply. I was only 23 at the time and my mother did not tell me what was really wrong with him until the day before his operation and it was a deadly disease. I asked her why she did not tell me, but she did not answer so I decided right there on the spot I was going with her and tell work I couldn’t come in that day. I stood with my mother as the surgeon explained it and I was totally ready to fall down. I said to him, “Are you saying my father is going to die?” and he said “Yes”. My mother asked me to call the relatives and tell them. I didn’t know how to do this, but my Holy Spirit nudged me to in order to help my mother who was in disbelief as I was. I knew he would be with God as he was a very spiritual man, but at the time, I hate to admit that it did not make me feel much better. That was in October and he died New Years Eve so we had very little time to spend with him and he was suffering. You know, Mary, this may sound stupid, but when I returned to work, I walked through the door and everyone was joking and laughing and what went through my mind? How can they be so happy when I just lost my father? They all had both of their parents and my mother was only 49 years old. As years went by more and more things occurred that took me back to the dark season. My husband I noticed that is mind was waning and at that time we were married 54 years. He would not listen to the neurologists and said they were wrong, it was just old age, the doctors told me that specific type of dementia, only people that lived with him 24/7 would be able to recognize this and they said he should feel happy that I did see it as there were 2 medications he could take to slow the progress of this horrible disease, but he also had to stop immediately drinking any kind of alcohol as this would negate the meds. Of course, I knew he would not do it as I suspected that he was also an alcoholic and it turned out he did. My one child, a son, called me and told me I was lying about all this and he never would consider me his mother and I would never be allowed to see or talk to me ever again. He was 11 at the time and is now 15. No communication from either and I remain heartbroken and wonder what I did. There is so much more to this dark season but it is too long. I will just say my husband would drink all day and every night for the 3+ years I stayed with him he abused me and hurt me terribly physically and emotionally until April, 2022, he tried to kill me, but this time and I know Jesus helped me here to finally got my 911 call through. She taped everything and sent the police. All of his doctors and the police and all of my support groups that called me every day to see if I was all right said I had to stop trying to convince my husband he was ill and start thinking about my own safety. His doctors said I needed to get him out of the house before he did kill me and 5 minutes later forgot that he was the one who did that. So I had to take steps to do this, and then I had to sell our house of 40 years as we both needed money for the 2 facilities we moved to. A divorce followed as they told me I could never live with him without fear. He is still an alcoholic and still has dementia rages. The divorce has dragged on for 5 years. There is so much more, but too much to take up your time, Mary. One last thing, 2 weeks ago my son emailed me with the most horrible, evil email and called me a street, drug addict, a wh***, a liar and should be in a mental institution among so many curse words and much more. My now Ex husband made all these things up and told him and he actually believed him. To make things worse, my son nor my husband or daughter-in-law have no souls or faith or belief and called me something I can’t even put in this email. My Holy spirit is always here to guide me and whisper messages from the Lord, but I am scared that I won’t live long enough to see any of these awful things resolved. I need to at least talk to my grandson to explain my will as he will be getting a lot of money. Mary, sorry to take up so much of your time, but I am alone and I am in a Senior Facility where the people here, I could never go through all of this as they are all hard of hearing and have some form of dementia and at times I have to get it out as my mind keeps going back when I sit in my apartment. Thank you Mary for your wonderful words that made me think more of what good things I do have. Please have a blessed week and I send to you my love for caring about those of us that have these dark seasons. You women at (in)courage are I feel are angels sent to us by God to encourage us with your stories and give us ways to help ourselves that we have not been able to think about in the way we are living right now…………………………Betsy Basile

  4. Hello Mary and others,
    As Madeline stated, I agree, not sure whether I would prefer the sudden or the advance notice kind of change.
    They both can come with challenges. They both can be scary. At the same time, though, both can also bring a time of personal growth – perhaps physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. Holding on to memories of God’s constant presence is so important. Or if memories “seem” bad in a sense – it’s good to hold on to stories of God’s presence that we read in the Bible.
    Thank you for sharing and the reminder we are all in this together under one awesome God.
    God Bless.

  5. Thank you, Mary, for this reminder. I too am in a big change in my life. I recently lost my Mom (my Dad passed many years ago), and I feel so lost. Not a lot of things make sense anymore. Even going to church (which is going through some massive changes) I find unsettling. There is comfort in the familiar, especially when you’re grieving. God is my only constant, Never changing. My Hope. God’s word and His Spirit Never change. Jesus, my Best Friend knows all things. I pray for all of you that are going through changes you have no control over and that we can rest in the loving and strong arms of Jesus.

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