It was annoying.
I had just spoken at a huge event. A beautiful group of humans that I loved being with, so much so that I took home a souvenir. Covid.
Annoying, but fine. I’ve had Covid twice before and both times recovered.
But this one? Just seems to hang on and on.
I am now at week six of not having fully recovered from my symptoms. I’m not sick, per se, just achy, super-sensitive to heat, not able to concentrate, and exhausted. Exhausted like I’ve never been exhausted before.
This is beyond Covid, but not yet “long Covid.” I’m in the in-between of something called “Post-acute COVID-19.” Not recovered from the initial infection and not out of the woods from the possibility of long Covid.
And friends, here’s the thing: I don’t want to borrow trouble, but not knowing is hard. Do my husband and I make plans for that trip to Houston? Do I work on getting new clients for my business or hold off until we know more? Do I push through and write that book proposal, or do I do my best to just rest and hope this all blows over?
When I think about the possibility of feeling like this for months or years, I feel overwhelming sadness and anger. Why didn’t we take that trip when it was merely inconvenient instead of impossible? Why didn’t I push through on that project when I had the energy? I’m tempted to fear the future, while grieving what’s past at the same time.
But sadness and anger are not places I want to set up camp. What I’m doing instead (and trust me, nothing in my nature is wired for this) is to learn to live here — in the waiting.
While waiting in the in-between can feel incredibly lonely, I know that I’m not alone in this experience.
Some of you, my friends, are in your own in-between:
- Waiting for a diagnosis.
- Waiting for a spouse to change.
- Waiting for a child to recover.
- Waiting for financial stability.
- Waiting for a relationship to heal.
- Waiting for a new job or direction.
- Waiting for hope to feel real again.
I know the discomfort of those in-between spots. The ache of not knowing. The almost-wishing for a bad outcome, just so you don’t have to live in the unknown. It can make you feel crazy — like it’s all just a colossal, frustrating waste of time.
But we are not marking time by marching in place. We are actually standing on holy ground.
Turns out, we’re in good company. Moses also found himself in the in-between. In his case, he stood between a flock of sheep and the supernatural sign of a burning bush. God told him, “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground” (Exodus 3:5 NIV).
The in-between is often where we find what we need in order to move on to the next thing. Moses didn’t know it, but he was about to have one of the biggest pivots in human history.
But first, God needed to teach him a few things:
There is no shame in being scared. Moses hid his face in fear when God spoke to him from the burning bush. If you aren’t a little scared in this holy place, you probably aren’t paying attention. But here is the key: Faith doesn’t erase fear; it steadies us in the midst of it.
Doubt does not disqualify you. If even Moses had doubts, then it makes sense that we will too. While Moses was saying, “Who am I that I should … ” he was also being prepared to answer God’s call. Whether we understand what God’s up to or not, we can still be sure that He is good.
God meets us where we are. Moses wasn’t ready to greet God with, “Here I am; send me.” But God was patient and had the answers to all of Moses’s hard questions. Our Father has what we need for today. Tomorrow, He will meet us there, but for today, what He has given us is enough.
Limits aren’t always a bad thing. What Moses saw as a limitation — his stutter — led to a brilliant partnership with the brother he hadn’t seen in over forty years. God paired up Aaron with Moses to be a spokesperson, and together they led God’s people out of slavery. Limitations are not the enemy — but our hustle to accomplish everything, to prove our worth and value is.
When we find ourselves in an in-between time, it may be that God is asking us to take off our sandals, to rest from our usual responsibilities and priorities, and to allow Him to teach us. This is our faith lived out —not just in the mountaintop moments, but in the waiting rooms of life.
Covid has forced me into a kind of waiting I never would have chosen — a body that won’t bounce back, plans I can’t yet make, energy I can’t seem to find. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe this is my burning bush moment: God asking me to take off my sandals, to pause, to pay attention, and to let Him teach me here.
The waiting may ache, but it is not wasted. This, too, is holy ground.
Oh Kathy, what perfect words of encouragement in my current in-between! Sunday will be my official retirement date. I am ending my working for pay life due to having lost my sight & no longer being able to read the paperwork & computer screen needed to do my job. So what will God call me to?A now retired pastor told us we never retire from kingdom work. I’m standing not fearless but steadied in the what next of limited sight. Thank you for putting into words exactly where I am in this unexpected turn of my path. Blessings! (((0)))
Ruth, your courage in naming the fear and stepping into “kingdom work” with limited sight is a testimony. Praying for next-step clarity and daily grace in this new season.
Thanks for this. After having numerous COVID boosters I recently had a reaction to one. Most of the adverse effects have gone but I have been left with numbness in my right hand. I am not good at waiting. This has made me very thankful for all the good things God has given me.
Millie, numbness is scary. I love your gratitude in the waiting—praying for steady healing and full feeling to return.
Kathi – this was so what I needed today. I am praying for a full recovery for you! It is so hard being in that in-between period because I have been there for almost a year now. Yet God continues to meet me right here right now, even when I am so frustrated that I want to scream at him (and at times I have). Yet step by step he is showing me a path forward and teaching me to lean on him for the answers, not on others. I just keep reminding myself that his timing is perfect and he is making the best possible way for me.
Dawn, I hear that holy frustration. God can handle our honesty; praying He keeps lighting the next right step and strengthens you as you wait.
Thank you! I needed these words of encouragement and empowerment. I’m waiting, Lord help me as I wait. Let me keep the faith and stay the course. Amen
Olivia, amen. I’m praying with you for faithful endurance and a steady heart in the waiting.
Thank you, Kathi. Just what I needed <3
Jennifer, I’m so glad this met you today. Cheering you on.
Kathi
Thank you! Words of encouragement this morning.
Before we knew what covid was, I had a 3 week time of extreme fatigue. All I could do was sleep.
I’m a side sleeper and that kept it from going into my lungs.
I’m so grateful! It left as suddenly as it came. So I understand that feeling of “what is going on?”
Praying for good rest and deep healing sleep, and our Father’s healing Mercy and Favor!!!
In Jesus’ Mighty Name!!!
Blessings
Joan, thank you for sharing—what an exhausting season. Praying for deep, restoring sleep and the Lord’s healing mercy over you.
Kathi
Thank you! Words of encouragement this morning.
Before we knew what covid was, I had a 3 week time of extreme fatigue. All I could do was sleep.
I’m a side sleeper and that kept it from going into my lungs.
I’m so grateful! It left as suddenly as it came. So I understand that feeling of “what is going on?”
Praying for you for good rest and deep healing sleep, and our Father’s healing Mercy and Favor!!!
In Jesus’ Mighty Name!!!
Blessings
Joan, I see your follow-up—thank you for the prayers. I’m receiving them and praying the same rest and favor over you.
Dear Kathi……WOW, this devotional could not be any better to help me in my situation. Thank you so much. As I read it I started to feel better that it is not wrong to sometimes be upset about the waiting in the “in-between times”. I have been experiencing this for 6 years now. I had the Covid as I was moving so I didn’t get the shot as I feared if I had a side effect, “How was I going to be able to move as there was nobody to help me?” Well I did get the move, but where I went (a Senior Independent Living Facility), I was only there 3 days and I got the virus and it was bad.I struggled so much but I just could not seem to recover. The only thing that calmed down was the cough as the doctors had this “Magic Pill” that you took and it immediately stopped the cough, but I could only get it refilled 1 time. Finally I got what you did the “the post acute Covid 19”, but as you told us it could go into the long haul Covid. Some people got over it and some did not. I was one of those that does have it after 2 years. My hands were affected, the fatigue is miserable and at 77 years old I was really scared; however as I waited I learned some things that I am sure that God wanted me to. How to deal with this diagnosis, but it took me a couple of months to totally accept what I could not change. That “in between time” as you called it was a perfect term to describe that waiting. You have opened my eyes to things I have not thought about with this situation. Thank you, Kathi. My heart still aches as one thing seems to get better, when another as I call it “bomb” hit me and off I went again in the “in between” time. This one was really serious as my husband, now ex has dementia, the violent kind. He would not do what the doctors said and told me that he was really lucky that I picked it up so soon. There was medication at that time to slow things down, but he also had to stop drinking all alchohol which I knew he would never do as I think he was an alchoholic and he was and still is. He abused me every night for the 3+ years I stayed with him to try to convince him he needed to do what was necessary. He abused me every single night for those years and it was bad. My son would not believe me even though we had not seen him for a year. How did he even know what was going on? But he called me a liar and said he no longer considered me his mother. A crushing phone call and he said it and hung up. Also he said I could never see my 1 grandchild or talk to him ever again. He was 11 at the time and will be 15 next month. Then the next thing that happened was in April, 2022, that night my husband tried to kill me due to these drunken ” dementia rages “. Police came. The rest of the story is too long to say in an email, but I had to get him evicted from our home of 40 years for my own safety. The rest of the story is even more horrific, but too long. The divorce took 4+ years to settle (So to speak) and I finally started to relax, for about 1 week when the “bomb” dropped again and it is too painful to say. Suffice it to say, I am once again in the “in between time”. Your plan I feel is going to help me to overcome the fear, the exhausting time and everything else I am going through. No communication for 5 years now from my son or my grandson. I certainly will re-read your words many times and try to look at it from your perspective. God has taught me some important things, but there must be something else that I need to do. I pray so much during the day that I lose my voice by supper time. Thank you again and I am so glad that you are feeling better. Praise God for this! I send my love to you and your words. You (in)courage women are the ones that keep me moving ahead as I look forward to reading all of your words every morning. To those of us that have severe problems like I do, I feel that you women, Kathi are angels sent to us from God to help us start to see the light at the end of the tunnel………..Betsy Basile
Betsy, my heart aches reading your story. I’m thanking God for your courage and praying protection, wise advocates, and steady hope around you—you are not alone.
This is lovely, Kathi! Waiting can be so hard. It sounds like you have a plan for embracing it, rather than battling it. Let go and let God. I pray you will feel seen by Him in that place.
Irene, “letting go” is the hardest muscle to work. Thank you for praying—asking God to meet you with that same sense of being seen.
Me too!
Gail, with you in the in-between. One small step and one faithful breath at a time.
take ECHINACEA drink lots of water, Vit. C up to 3000mg and Zinc helps!
So encouraging! Reminds me of Habakkuk 2:3 … Though it linger, wait for it … (NIV)
OOHHH – I’m going to go read that right now!
Thank you for your words today. I am still in the waiting room today. Tired and weary but holding onto my faith. Thank you for the words today and encouragement.
I pray that this can be a time of love, healing and deepening faith.
Kathi,
Bless your soul… Covid whether it’s Short or Long is never any fun… Blessings in the waiting for complete and total healing!
Sending you fall joy,
Lisa Wilt
Thank you friend.