The Slow Road to Reconciliation

Hello. I’m Karina and I’m a slow processor. When I say slow, I mean, ridiculously slow. Think of molasses. When I’m hurt, forgiveness, for me, is the easy part. Forgiveness is an act of the will. I don’t necessarily have to feel it to do it.

It’s my feelings that are slow in catching up.

I am one of those highly sensitive people who just feel things deeply. I have a million and one feelings. And I have a million and one feelings about those feelings. I guess this is what makes me a good creative — my mind is always thinking, circling, and analyzing on a continuous loop.

I eventually get to a place of healing, wholeness, and possible restored fellowship, but it takes me a minute to get there. Oftentimes, it takes me more than just a minute.

I used to think that there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t just quickly get over something that hurt me or frustrated me or angered me. But God created us all differently, and we process differently. We heal at different speeds. And that’s okay. There is no one way to journey with the Lord in this process. God’s desire is simply that we remain humble, teachable, and dependent on Him. It matters that the process is only unto His glory.

Now, I’ve had my fair share of friendship struggles. But a recent one hurt me deeper than I can adequately convey. I have spent the better part of 2024 and the first half of 2025 in a season of profound sadness. One of the causes for that sadness has been a great rift between me and a dear friend.

There was a string of circumstances where I felt left out, unwelcome, and unloved. Whether or not it was intentional or just my interpretation, those instances simply didn’t feel good. I was so grieved that I pulled back from our friendship. I was already overwhelmed by the season I was in. This proved too much of a weight to bear.

This was the first time in our seven-year friendship that we’d faced anything like this. I wasn’t sure if our friendship would survive. I imagined all the ways this situation could play out. I even wondered if the friendship was worth saving.

Sadly, some fractured relationships haven’t been saved. But I realized this one was most definitely worth it. She realized it was too.

I felt the Lord assuring me that this part of my season would be healed. I just wasn’t sure how. My friend took the first step and asked me to lunch. I took the next step and wrote her a letter. I’ve discovered that I work through conflict best by having time to write out my thoughts and feelings, followed by a conversation, versus having that conversation in the heat of a moment. I guess that’s the writer in me.

Our lunch was sort of an icebreaker. I filled her in on some of the hard I’ve been walking through, and she shared some of the highlights of her recent months. It felt good to reconnect a bit. It was a good start.

A few weeks later, we had another lengthy conversation. This one was more in-depth. My friend was able to respond to aspects of my letter. Misunderstandings were cleared up. Perspectives were shared. The truth of God’s Word was prayed. Prophetic declarations were released. And so many tears were shed.

Colossians 3:13 reminds us of the Lord’s forgiveness towards us. Because of that forgiveness, we are to bear with one another and forgive every grievance against another.

We forgive because we love God.

We forgive because we love others.

We forgive out of obedience.

We forgive because it sets us free.

I’m sure this won’t be the last time my friend and I will be confronted with hurt feelings, confusion, or misunderstandings. But now we have a stronger foundation built on God’s truth and love. Honesty, trust, and vulnerability are leading the way.

Working through conflict and discomfort and heartbreak are never the way I want a friendship to grow, but I am grateful that the Lord proves faithful at every step.

When we yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit, His love overflows. His grace sustains. His Spirit empowers. His peace floods.

I’d love for you to share a testimony of reconciliation! I want to join you in thanking God for this ministry!