The swim instructors separated everyone into groups of three. My group included a three-year-old girl with long dark hair, a five-year-old girl with red hair and freckles, and me. Parents sat around the perimeter of the pool, excitedly watching their children, cheering, and capturing every moment on film. However, no one was there clapping or cheering for me . . . a thirty-two-year-old woman at a swim school for small children.
As a young child, I escaped learning to swim after several failed attempts. Then, at around age nine, an angry adult forced me into the deep end of a pool and held me under, determined to make me overcome my “discomfort” and teach me to swim. For years after, I couldn’t bear water in my face. Water gun fights and bobbing for apples were unthinkable activities. Showers were difficult. And as friends enjoyed summers in the pool, I felt fear and shame. I even avoided being baptized for years due to the prospect of being fully immersed.
As an adult, I logically knew that I could learn to swim. God made our bodies buoyant, and people can learn to breathe underwater. Still, believing I could swim wasn’t as easy knowing I could. Thankfully, after the gentle encouragement of a Bible teacher, I came to believe that God wanted me to trust Him with this fear.
Determined to learn how to swim, I enrolled for swim lessons at a swim school for children. I felt very terrified and self-conscious. But for the sake of my toddler, and for my own sake, I wanted to overcome this fear that gripped me. I wanted my son to enjoy the water without my panic in the background.
As I entered the pool, I tried to ignore the other parents. I tried to remember that the eyes of my Heavenly Father were upon me. I sensed God smiling because this wasn’t just about learning how to swim. This was a deliberate decision to revisit trauma and the fear that crippled me. This was about trusting God in a way I could not ever imagine.
As the instructor led the three-year-old across the pool, the five-year-old looked into my eyes and excitedly said, “Do you want to practice elevators?” My first thought was, “Absolutely not! I don’t want to go down under the water and pop back up.” But . . . when a freckled, five-year-old smiles wide and grabs your hands like she’s your best friend, you say, Yes!
This five-year-old girl wasn’t afraid — and she showed me I, too, could be strong and courageous. So, she held my hands, and we went up and down in the water. I don’t know how I did it, but I did! That little girl will never know how God used her to help me, how meeting her was a divine appointment.
God met me in the pool that day. He knew I was scared, embarrassed, and full of shame. But I showed up, and He met me there, in the fear. God provided someone to be with me that day. His message was tender: “I see you, and you don’t have to do this alone.”
In the following months, my life took an unexpected turn — a turn more terrifying than my fear of the water. My obedience to God in learning how to swim and allowing Him to enter into my past pain, made it easier to walk with Him through new traumas of the present.
I went on to take adult lessons, learning how to swim at a local YMCA. It was not easy; I often prayed in the water and brought to mind Isaiah 41:10 (NKJV), “Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
Now, I continue to swim several days a week — and each lap declares victory. As I swim, I pray . . . and I remember how God is good and that He meets us in our fears. He can calm the storm within, and He is fully trustworthy. He upholds us with His righteous right hand . . . even in the water.
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Beautiful reminder of His divine appointments. Thank you for sharing how we can be overcomers! And that I need to be on the lookout for these opportunities in the midst of the chaos and the mundane…
Thank you, Lisa! Yes, God has so many divine appointments for each of us. We can never know how God may use a simple smile or our kind words to a stranger.
Thank you for this! I too am a therapist. A newly licensed LPC and feeling the pull to private practice. It feels scary to go into the “deep waters” without the support of a group practice I’ve had for 3.5 years but I will trust God in every step!
Congratulations, Michelle, on your new LPC license! May God use you in a mighty way to meet your clients in their “deep waters” as you step out into private practice.
Tami, it’s so hard to believe an adult could be so cruel to a child. I’m so sorry that happened to you. This is the second time this week the Lord has given me this scripture as I’m struggling with losing my right hand. Thank you for sharing this encouragement.
Thank you, Gail. I am touched by your comment. My heart goes out to you as you mourn the loss of your hand. God is so personal. He knows just what words of scripture will meet us in our struggles.
Thank you for sharing your story. It encouraged me. When I was little I dropped out of swimming lessons after I sort of choked on water in the pool and got terrified. I’ve thought about taking adult swimming lessons but never did. I’m 50. I know how to float but never learned how to swim laps. Praise God that He meets us in our fear- and He wants to help us overcome our fears. My husband is a worship leader and songwriter and he wrote a song with some of lyrics including Isaiah 41:10. The song often brings healing to me and others. We sing it mostly at homeless shelters for the shelter guests. It’s such a powerful and comforting Bible verse. God bless your ministry.
Thank you, Amber, for sharing part of your story. I am grateful you found encouragement in mine. How beautiful that you bring God’s healing words, through song, to the souls living in homeless shelters! God bless your ministry as well!
Tami thank you for what you wrote. I got a picture in my head when you said about the swimming pool as you said what you wrote. You said in your group you had a five year old and a three year old in your group. I got a picture a instructor being Jesus teaching us how to put our fears behind us. Especially if learning something new. Pray to God to know he is with us he will be there for us if we Pray and hand it over to him. He will instruct us by his Holy Spirit to know what to do next and guide us. So we will not drown in our situation and what we are going through. Jesus I got he is our life’s lifeguard that if we do as he tell us listen to his instructions we will not drown in what we are going through. Jesus will help us swim and keep us above the water help us not to fear or feel anxious or worry. That like the lifeguard teaching people to swim of all ages we will if keep doing as the lifeguard tells we will be ok trust and have no fear. We can look back in time and say all through this I didn’t drown. Jesus kept my head above the water and help me swim and trust him to look after me that everything would be ok and it was because I did what I was told. I didn’t take my eyes of the lifeguard that was Jesus as if I did I would have sank. Like the people and kids in your devotional today that you wroteTami doing as they were told by the Lifeguard at the pool. Thank you writing it. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland xx
Wow, Dawn! Thank you for sharing the picture that God brought to your mind as you read the story. As one of our pastors at our church says, “Faith is trusting God enough to do what he says.” (Larry Osborne @ North Coast Church)
Tami ❤️. Thank you, thank you for sharing your story of overcoming and courage. Congratulations also on enduring the learning journey until you became a bona fide swimmer. There’s something so refreshing and even empowering in experiencing all the good that Abba intended water to be, whether it be in the droplet form of a rain shower or the big body form of an expansive ocean.
Your story reminds me of my experience with water as a young 8 year old child.
I always wanted to frolic in fearlessness fun like the rest of my siblings and family as they jumped the waves at Coney Island Beach in Brooklyn, New York City. On one summer visit, my dad held my hand firmly as he helped me brave the discomfort of the broken seashell/pebble barrier that stood between me and the fun I imagined. I was a pretty tall 8 year old and I eked out a cautious smile with teeth clenched as we went deeper … I was careful not to let my head go under or guzzle too much salted ocean water. After several failed attempts at bouncing above each oncoming wave and keeping my balance, I had enough. I pleaded with my dad to return to shore. My dad, with the old school parenting style of an eagle tossing its offspring out of the nest ready or not, told me that if I must leave I must return to shore ‘alone’. I chose the safety of the shore over the safety my dad believed he provided even with the ocean threatening to swallow me whole if I would not tame it and my fairs first. I did not trust my dad’s strength, power, resolve, or love in the wake of the unrelenting waves.
After what seemed an eternity, I made it back to dry sand ‘alone’; oblivious to all the fun, the uncomfortable shell barriers, and the sea of persons all around … That day and unbeknownst to my dad, DIY Dawn stepped on the scene and became etched in my heart. While she served me well in many areas, she also held me at bay as I declined to ask for help unless courageous, fearless, self sufficient, and able enough ‘first’… Suffice to say I was never all these things all at once thus DIY Dawn lived on. Enough seldom visited and these questions lingered. Was Father God more like my earthly dad? Did Isaiah 41:10 apply to me without conditions? Could DIY Dawn take a sabbatical? Not until decades later …
Recently a dear friend shared how her experience of the Father was true to Dueteronomy 31:6 … “… the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
I surprised myself as I teared up and shared that I struggled to embrace that truth as my own reality. I had leaned too far into the “abandon worthy” graffiti spray-painted in black ink on my child’s heart that decades-ago day at Coney Island Beach. DIY Dawn had to retire, ‘re-tire’ or be retired. ‘Now’ Dawn had to untether from a past that anchored her to an experience that cannot serve (in its current form) the enlightened relationship the Father desires to have with her today.
Your story and my friend’s experience help me to surrender my heart to the Lord’s heart/life- renovation plans. He’s compassionately rewriting each narrative so my focus and future are as He intends … brilliantly hopeful and breathtakingly new! (Jeremiah 29:10-14 and Isaiah 43:16-19).
BTW … I can dog paddle better than most Labradors and am figuring out what gear to wear when in water for my own peace of mind. I love the water and simply address any “limitations” with wisdom and grace!
Thank you, Dawn, for sharing about surrendering to God. What a wonderful reminder about how he compassionately rewrites each of our narratives. I hope you keep paddling on!
That is awesome Tami! Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you! I appreciate your comment, Terry Jean!
Thanks for sharing your story. I, too, was traumatized in a pool at a young age (but by older kids), and at the age of 73, I still wish I could swim but am too afraid. I loved the thought of God showing up in a five year-old girl to help you. Our God shows up in some of the least expected places. He is always blessing us. Being able to recognize Him in everything is a huge blessing, too.
Phyl, I’m sorry to hear that older kids mistreated you. Yes, I agree, God does show up in some of the least expected places! Thank you for sharing a bit of your story. God bless you.
Thank you Tami for sharing your experience and the lessons you learned from it. I, too, was afraid of the water as a child. My mother was so afraid for me around water and transferred that fear to me. I taught myself how to swim but only in shallow water that I could see into. No deep water for me! As an adult I overcame that fear with God’s help. After we had our pool built I took it one step at a time in the pool towards the deep end and found myself there, swimming and even diving. Hallelujah!!! God bless us all to overcome other fears as well. “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind.”
Rejoicing with you! I’m happy to hear you overcame your fear as well, with God’s help. It can be so difficult to learn something new as an adult, especially when we feel afraid. I love how you took it one step at a time. Thank you, Donna!
I love your story! My mother was petrified of open water. When we were young my dad tried to teach us to swim and mother was on the shore screaming at him. So I never learned to swim. When I was 16 I went for a boat ride with my then boyfriend. To be funny he grabbed me and threw me overboard! I went down 3 times before I could grab the side of the boat and get back in it. To this day I don’t go in any water that’s over my head, especially a lake. I do go to the local rec center – I can see the depth printed on side of the pool and I forbid anyone to touch me in the water. I do have 3 sons and I took them to lessons when they were small, they’re all good swimmers. My husband was on a swim team in HS so I trust he’ll help me keep my head above water. At 74 I’m not going to try anything more!
Leann, I’m so grateful God enabled you to get back in that boat! What courage you showed to get into a pool of water at all after your experience. I appreciate you taking the time to comment!
Tami,
You go, girl!
I was in a bad car accident on the highway when I was 16 years old. Ironically, it was the first time I ever took the family car out of town. To this day, I can have panic attacks while driving, but Jesus always gets me through!
Sending you summer joy
Lisa Wilt.
O, Lisa, I’m so sorry about your early experience driving and then being in a bad accident! I know so many people who have been in accidents, and it’s so hard to get back behind the wheel again. May God continue to bring you strength, peace, and courage, each time the panic rises inside.
I cried as I was reading your article. I don’t have a fear of water, my fear is rejection and failure. These fears limit me from doing a
lot of things I would like to do. Your article came at the perfect time in my life. I know God is with me and wants me to get out there and do things but because of the fear it is easier to just not do anything. Your article shows me how to take a step at doing something I want to do, knowing that God will be right there with me.