This became oh-so evident during a corporate fast my church recently facilitated. Though I did my best to take a break from social media and keep myself from indulging my sweet tooth, the outpouring of words I expected to fill my journal with didn’t come. Instead, what continually rose to the surface were all the ways I had tried to come up with my own attempts to settle and self-soothe.
It’s easy to point fingers at our Biblical brothers and sisters who were often tripped up by figures of gold or bronze or clay. But, dear Lord, all my acts of self-denial during this corporate fast only drove home how much I needed to rethink the insufficient ways I attempt to satisfy my needs and care for myself.
I tend to justify my own wants by masquerading them as needs. And, because I think there is a chance I won’t get what I need, I exchange trust for control until what was meant to be restful and peaceful is just another thing I hold tight in my grip. Not so fun, especially when I feel like I’m in the grip of so.many.things.
Jesus, without doubt, invites us to be whole, well, rested and at peace. On the other hand, circumstances, the enemy, and sometimes other people try really hard to get us off that path. Even the most well-intentioned, good, and authentic ministry can deplete us of energy. Jesus was aware of that in His own life. The Bible said He often drew away to be alone and pray. One of my favorite passages is when He brought His disciples along in that process.
“Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.'”
Mark 6:31 NIV
Jesus noticed. Jesus paid attention. Jesus knew His disciples’ need for rest more than they did themselves. And as they followed Him, He beckoned them to come away and receive exactly what they needed.
Jesus sees what our hearts cry out for. He formed and fashioned our bodies and is aware of every longing and ache. He intimately knows even every craving for adventure and fun, or for a relaxing beach trip under the sun. Submitting ourselves to His tender care deepens our reliance on Him and allows every cell of our being to be taken care of in only the way He can.
- He washes our feet. (John 13:1-17)
- He makes a place for us at His feet. (Luke 10:38-42)
- He allows you to cast your cares on Him. (1 Peter 5:7)
- He welcomes our tears. (John 11:32-33)
- He rejoices over us. (Zephaniah 3:17)
- He sings as we sleep. (Psalm 42:8)
- He quiets the storm. (Mark 4:38-39)
- He provides food for us to eat. (John 6:10-13)
- He promises water to drink. (John 4:10-13)
- He calls us daughter and makes us whole. (Mark 5:32-34)
Self-care is submission to the One who cares for you more than you do for yourself. God is a good Father. He knows us deeply and intimately. If we always equate self-care with what we can buy on store shelves or flip on from our streaming service, we might miss out on what our hearts really need.
I’m definitely not trying to dismantle anyone’s routine or wellness rhythm. I’m not trying to break up spa day with the girls or limit the sleep many of us probably need to catch up on. I definitely have no desire to challenge your consistent trips to the gym (mad respect) or the commitment to forego the drive-through in order to feed your body more whole food (double respect). I’m not even coming for the chocolate cake or shortbread you just made at home.
However, the more that my life unfolds with the weight of complexities and challenges, the longing for convenient comfort seems to increase exponentially. Indulging in “what is good for a moment” feels so easy. Yet, at my core, I’ve been wrestling with the realization that caring for myself has to be intentionally deeper than a trend.
Does this mean we can never get our nails done or go on vacation? Does this mean we can’t take breaks or enjoy a much-needed nap? Of course not. And, as I recall, one day Jesus deemed a storm the perfect time and place to rest. He didn’t start with what seemed obvious or convenient. He started from rest.
The way we care for ourselves doesn’t have to start from what others dictate. It can start from rest with and in Him. It can overflow from laying our heads on His chest, hearing the rhythm of His heartbeat, and letting that infuse our own self-care routines.
Truly, it is from this place that what we deeply crave will be satisfied by what He sees and says we need.
What is your typical self-care impulse? Where do you sense Jesus inviting you to rest a little deeper?
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Thank you!!! I am in favor of people knowing when to nap, when to self-soothe, and what things refresh or relax them, but also advertising suggests that really you ought to buy *this* or *that* as self-care, and… eh. Sometimes self-care is a job well done; a clean kitchen sink; a bath that doesn’t even need any “products”; a walk around the block; a nap; putting the good music on; sending a thank-you to a friend.
And while there is definitely “… our bodies need to be taken care of, too” in the Bible – see Elijah in despair asking God to let him die, and God prescribing rest and food and providing both – what Jesus tells the disciples at the Garden of Gethsemane to do – watch and pray that you may not fall into temptation – is counter to my “they are super tired, if they get a nap they’ll probably be better at withstanding temptation” general assumptions. Presumably there is a time for “self-care” and a time when other things take priority (Jesus actually interrupts his self-care to take care of people sometimes), and the more tapped-in we are to God, the more we’ll know that rather than either assuming God wants us to busy-busy-busy ourselves with “Christian work” into an exhausted mess or assuming that us trying to do everything we can think of to take care of ourselves is more important than anything else (sometimes! see Elijah! and Jesus feeding people! and going off to pray sometimes even when other people wanted attention! but that was after some things and before other things, not all the time?).
Pointing out that self-care can be an idol and a way of trying to control our situations is also valuable to me – thank you!
Now to see if I can sort out where my foundations need some help…
Jenny,
My current favorite Bible verse one you quoted from Zephaniah. God sings lullabies over us! Having a grandson, this speaks to my heart!
I’ll share your devotion!
Sending you warm JOY,
Lisa Wilt
Wow Jenny, this is so powerful. 2024 brought new and difficult challenges, and I struggled with wanting the feelings of anxiety and regret to leave quickly but this was not possible. The remedy didn’t happen quickly. It took months before I started to feel I was on the other side of my trauma. I could not have gotten through it without the Lord.
I love that you used the story of Jesus napping during the storm, I never looked at it from a self-care perspective! Thank you for this.
♥Christine
I love love love this. Reached deep into my heart. So very true.
Jenny,
My self care impulse can be buying myself clothes or earrings. For the last four years my self-care routine has included a day of relaxing with hubby and taking naps between chores. God wants us to quiet our souls & rest up for the challenges that face us. Each weekend, I get 3 days, includes some Bible reading, listening to Christian music while praising Jesus and slowing down to enjoy the life given me.
Blessings 🙂
I love the idea of laying your head on Jesus and listening to his heartbeat. We have an old clock in the back of our even older church. When it gets very quiet, and the pendulum swings and ticks off the seconds, we’ve often said it’s like listening to God’s heartbeat. So soothing.
Just a thought…perhaps the word ‘insufficient’ should be ‘sinful’…
My typical self care goes with naps and watching tv. But I try to work in some form of Jesus quiet time before doing any of those things and this may be in the form of reading my Bible, prayer, reading a devotional, etc.
Dear Rachel……So sorry I am so late with my reply, but I have been sick now for 10 days. I have a hunch that I got sick so that I would have to rest and relax. I am the type of person that feels like I should be helping others and I lost sight of myself and I was always just running. My job as a manager in a very large company for 35 years expected us to solve problems ASAP. I did end up being very good at it and they called me “their trouble-shooter”. Meanwhile my husband and I had big problems which didn’t help my multi-tasking. He expected me to come home from work after 10 hours and make supper right away. I tried to do that, but it didn’t suit him. He was home hours before I was and could have helped me. We had 1 son and my Mother-in-law lived with us for 16 years, but that is another story for another day. I had to evict my husband from our house of 40 years as he tried to kill me. He has the violent form of dementia He was in total denial and would not take any of the meds or stop his heavy drinking which they said was the first thing. My son would not listen to me and said I was a liar. It was old age, but it wasn’t and my son at 54 is right at the age where it very likely can begin. My husband’s grandfather, uncle and many others that came from Italy died from it, but at that time dementia and Alzheimers was not even diagnosed yet. I ended up selling the house and did it myself as all the relatives were gone. Our house was big and I donated thousands of dollars to others as I was moving into a facility 1 bedroom apartment. Besides this situation that makes me cry almost every day. Where I am living, all but 1 manager either left of their own accord or were fired leaving us with 1 manager for over 100 people. I have been trying to help her as all the years of my working, I had seen almost everything that could happen. So now I have myself in another complicated problem which caused me to have no time for me and at my age, I am weary, alone and very depressed. These people here were depending on me to help all of us out of this mess. I got sick and I had prayed and prayed for Jesus to help me, and He did. I finally recognized that it was on me due to not taking self- care of me. This illness that I have has grounded me now for almost 2 weeks, but when I read your devotional today, it really took me by surprise and I know I have to take better care of myself and pace myself. Ican’t solve all the problems of the world.. Thank you Rachael for your words that reminded me what I needed to do and I will do it as I will be 78 this year and it gets harder when you get older. I send my love and best wishes for a blessed weekend. I need a nap now so I must sign off………………….Betsy Basile