I’m not sure what happened.
In my memory, the plate barely touched the countertop when it broke into pieces. I wasn’t banging around in anger, and I wasn’t being careless — but I was moving quickly. Emptying the dishwasher is my kids’ chore and I can only convince myself to do it if I race against the clock (or, in this case, the microwave timer).
So there I was, moving at a completely reasonable speed with a reasonable amount of care, but when I set a plate on the counter, it shattered.
Immediately I stopped and stared at the pieces of pottery in front of me. It was a dish we’d registered for when my husband and I got married — 25 years ago. Fine, it wasn’t a new plate. It had been used hundreds of times over its lifetime. Perhaps it was just worn out? (Do plates get worn out?)
I’m not sure why that plate was primed to break, but it was. It was fragile for some reason I couldn’t see, and with just the slightest bump on the hard counter, that plate fell apart.
Maybe you can relate? Yes, to the plate — the one that seemed just fine until it wasn’t.
I’ve certainly been the plate before. Many times, if I’m honest. I’m going along, living a normal day, and then one small bump in the road rips my “everything’s fine” mask off my face and ruins my entire day. One inconvenience, perceived slight, or even a sincere question, and I’m falling apart, unsure of what happened or how I got to this shattered state.
Perhaps for you it looks like holding it together through a stressful morning and then losing your mind when your sweater catches on the doorknob. Or staying calm all day long when customers or coworkers try your patience, only to yell at the people you truly care for at home. Or it’s facing unprecedented time after unprecedented time with faith and fortitude, forging ahead no matter what the world throws at you until the day a health crisis stops you in your tracks and your body forces you to deal with all the things you’ve ignored or pretended to handle.
So, what do we do about this?
While I can’t tell you how to stop feeling like the plate sometimes, there’s something important we can learn from it. When life’s bumps cause us to break, we don’t have to stay shattered. Instead of pushing our feelings aside or pretending everything is fine, we can acknowledge the cracks and invite God into the mess. He sees every fragile moment, and He’s never surprised or unprepared to hold us together again.
Here’s what that broken plate is teaching me:
When we find ourselves crying “for no reason” or falling apart without notice or provocation, it’s time to stop. Take a moment and ask yourself what’s actually behind the emotion pouring out. Try asking, “What am I actually upset about right now?” and then, if you can, go deeper and ask, “Why does that upset me?”
Then, before you move on, clean up the mess. When we’re talking about a broken plate, that means sweeping up the shards and slivers and putting them in a paper bag. But when we’re talking about our own brokenness sneaking up on us, that might mean doing some deep breathing or taking a walk or drinking some tea.
On a larger scale, cleaning up “your broken plate” might mean making an appointment with your counselor, taking a break from the thing that was your last straw, or apologizing to anyone who was collateral damage during your breakdown. It also might mean asking God to give you courage to face what’s underneath the brokenness and to help you process whatever has left you fragile.
And that’s both the good news and our third step: remembering God is with us.
Jesus is here when we fall apart and He cares deeply about what we’re facing and how we’re feeling about it. So many times in Scripture we see Jesus help people understand and deal with the issues beneath their outward expressions of pain. Over and over, He saw people suffering and stopped to ask, “What do you [really] want?”
Luke 18 tells the story of Jesus healing a blind man. When the disciples heard the man begging Jesus for help, they told him to be quiet. They saw his emotional outburst as a nuisance. But Jesus heard the man’s heart and had mercy on him, asking him what he needed and then offering it to him freely. (Luke 18:35-42)
Jesus isn’t surprised by our unexpected emotions, and He isn’t bothered by the sudden appearance of our pain. When we lash out or blow up, when our brokenness becomes sharp edges that can so easily cut, Jesus doesn’t condemn us. Instead, He protects us and shows us the way to repair what’s broken.
This life is hard, and we will all experience times when it becomes too much. We may keep pushing ahead, through the pain and the struggle and the fear and the confusion, but at some point, we just can’t push anymore. When that happens and we find ourselves shattered into a pile of broken pottery, Jesus is there.
If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;
if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.
Psalm 34:18 MSG
Thank you, Mary. Things have been piling up for me lately (health issues for both my husband and me, home maintenance issues, multiple broken appliances – our oven blew out on Thanksgiving! ), and I did recently have a meltdown (over Christmas lights ). It’s good to be reminded that Jesus cares. He will give us the strength to get through this.
Thanks for the encouragement.
Gail, I just wanted to bring a little SUNSHINE your way and let you know that I’m lifting you up in prayer as you journey thru this difficult season in life. “Do not fear for I am with you; Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will also help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand”…Isaiah 41:10 He is holding you, Gail, even through the heaviest and hardest of moments. May you feel the WARMTH of His hand. God Bless!
Oh Gail, that’s so much in a short amount of time! And something about hardship around the holidays makes everything seem more dire. It’s good to acknowledge that as well as remember that God is with us in it all, and He will never leave us alone.
Mary,
I love this devotion because it’s so relatable. I break things in the kitchen more often than I think I should. And it’s usually from hurrying. I loved how you compare that plate to our lives. As always, your writing touches my soul!
Sending you advent joy,
Lisa Wilt
Thank you, Lisa! Yes, hurrying through chores or life in general definitely can make us more prone to breaking!
I always love your writings, Mary! This little essay is especially insightful. But…I’m wondering if asking Jesus to help us might sometimes need to be Step 1. Maybe sometimes we need Him first, so we can do the rest. Just a thought.
Thank you for your kind words, Irene. And yes, absolutely, asking Jesus to help is crucial in times of big stress (or even small!).
Dear Mary……………….This devotion that you wrote for us today is exactly what I needed. I am 77 years old and live in a facility that has over 100 people, many with mental and physical problems. I’m not sure I like the word “enemy” but there are people here who don’t really understand me. I shouldn’t really be in a place like this, but my husband (now ex) tried to kill me and almost succeeded. He has that type of dementia and has been in denial for 6 years now. I needed to somehow get him out of the house for my own safety. I ended up having to sell the house as we both needed money to live in these places and they are all expensive. Before any of this happened, I used to call our 1 son, Aron and give him an update on his father’s condition. He called me a liar and 2 months later, 5 years ago he called me one night and told me no longer considered me his mother as I was a liar and a drug addict off the street. Also before he just hung up on me he said I could no longer see or ever even talk to my one grandson again and hung up. This is where the whole set of my Christmas broke in one full swoop and I broke as well. For 3 years I have been trying to clean up the mess to no avail. No communication from my son or my 14 year old grandson either. I have prayed so many times for some peace and help to maybe help me to bring our only family left back together again. I had to divorce my husband of 54 years. He had taken our money and placed it in accounts in his name only that I didn’t even know about until he was out of the house and I started to sort through his room. I was shocked at how much of our money he hid from me. It is in the six figure range. He never loved me and and had date raped me when I was 21 and got me pregnant. Honestly, Mary, I can’t say that Jim is the enemy as it is his dementia, but I have had a lot of problems not considering my son of 54 years old as an enemy. He has been doing everything he can so that I do not receive any of the money. He and his wife want it. The real sad part of this is as a child and young man until he got to be 35 and got married was the sweetest, kindest person who loved me so much and would do anything for me. It started with his marriage. His wife hated me and and also hated her own mother. She has problems. I knew from the first time I met her, there was something “off” with her. As the years went by things only got worse. There is so much more but I do not want to take up your time. How do I not consider him my enemy? In the beginning I wasn’t mad but totally heartbroken along with the plates, but as he has done so many things to block me from what is due me, I feel he is my enemy. I am still heartbroken about my grandson. Before all this happened we had such a loving relationship and not I don’t even know what he looks like or what he is interested now. I thank you for your words today and will read this devotion over and over again. I wish you Mary a wonderful Christmas as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. That is what this season is all about, not presents and who can buy the most. My Holy Spirit helps me every single day to keep me putting one foot forward and calms me when I can’t help but cry all day. You women at in courage have kept me alive and I thank God every day for having me find you to connect. My love to you and I will be at church on Christmas Eve and praying for some peace and what can I do, Jesus?…………………Betsy Basile
Betsy, I am so, so sorry about all the things you’ve endured over the past several years. Thank you for sharing your story and your heart with us here. I’m praying right now for God to provide supernatural healing and peace for your entire family.
I’m at the end of my rope. Thank you for the reminder that Jesus is with us, though it doesn’t seem like it with all we’ve been through over the past 30+ years…
Margaret, you’re so welcome. I’m praying that you feel the presence of Christ as you face whatever has put you at the end of your rope today!
Thank you for this Hug from God. I needed this. Thank you, Mary, you are a gifted writer.
Merry Christmas.
Thank you for your kind words, BC. I’m so grateful you feel God’s love through these words!
Mary so thank you for todays reading. As I read it I wanted to cry and that felt like me. As if I was shattered and broken in pieeces that didn’t fit together again. I have this last while felt like a jigsaw that has most of the picture put together but the l am the missing piece. As everyone meaning people fit in the jigsaw perfectly to make up most of the picture. I felt like the missing piece that can’t be found. I feel felt out. I say why don’t I fit into the picture why am I missing to make the picture complete. I been that this last while with my Family. I wonder why they see they are leaving me out in things. Not caring about my health. It hurts but I go on in the strength of the Lord if I can. Doing my Dad’s as I say I have to go on and not let it get to me that I feel like this. Plus the shattered pieces that don’t go back together anymore. Yes it can hard but I do for the Love of the Lord and my Dad. As they could do more to help me with my health. Say Dawn we will get someone in few days a week for you rest. Then you do the other days for Dad. We will see to him at night after work. I stand on Philippines 4:13 which says “I can do all things through Christmas who strengthens me” But at the same time not over do that it affects my health as I suffer seizures. If you say anything to my you end up in a row. You don’t win as they are the type they have answer for you no matter what you say. You say why did I bother saying anything. So I feel shattered and like the jigsaw piece that is lost. They don’t think of me. So I pray for them to care more plus there Salvation as they are not saved as well as my Dad. You get when my Dad asked how you are. You tell him the truth. You just get a least your heare. That means to do is home. You think why did I bother telling him how I was can’t he should more care. But you say nothing as he 83. Do what Jesus would show him love and remember if you don’t get your reward for doing your Dad home this side of earth you will get it in Glory one day. You have to remember you are not doing like me my Dad’s on to man but the Lord. That has helped me so much. In doing my Dad’s. It says that in Colossians 3: 23 and 24. It has helped me as it says. ” whatever you do, work at it with all your heart,.as working for the Lord not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.” That helps me. I might not get it this side of earth but I will get when I go to Glory one day. I say Amen. Thank you again Mary for todays wonderful message. Happy Christmas to you and your family. Plus to you all incourage. In my prayers. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland xx
Dawn, I’m so glad you’re here and grateful for your words. Praying God gives you strength and provides respite so you can care for yourself as kindly as you care for your dad.
“Jesus doesn’t condemn us. Instead, He protects us and shows us the way to repair what’s broken.” Wow, if only I saw Jesus this way, it would make such a difference. Instead, my inner puritan steps in to berate me. Thank you for the glimpse of grace.
Kelly, I’ve always been a perfectionist with a harsh inner critic, so I understand so well what you’re saying. I’m praying right now that God will flood your heart with grace and peace as you let go of your own condemnation and accept His complete forgiveness and love.
Wow, Great analogy with the broken plate to our lives, and I’m one that is always hurrying and rushing about as I multi-task doing things at once too! Thanks, Mary for sharing this devotional with us as I try to take time to relax more often than not…Blessings!
Thank you for being here and for your kind words, Lori! I’m grateful this resonated with you!
I appreciate how relatable this devotional is to my current stage of life. I am truly grateful that Jesus takes the pain and broken pieces of my life and transforms them into something beautiful—a perfect vessel filled with His purpose and intentions.