“Did you sign up?” my roommate asked me as we lingered in our dorm hallway.

“Yes! And I got my boyfriend to sign up, too!” I replied, giddy with anticipation.

It would be the perfect Saturday evening. I looked out the window at the gold and red leaves scattered across campus and could picture it: Me in my plaid scarf and peacoat, looking adorably autumnal while sipping apple cider on a hayride.

Fellow first-year students loaded the old-school yellow bus, ready to pay our $10 fee to embark on a new adventure. We left our downtown college campus for the outskirts of the country, where a tiny ski hill had been transformed into a fall wonderland.

The ride was off to a bumpy start. I shared a seat with my boyfriend and kept sliding into him with every sharp turn. As the driver zoomed onto the highway, he nearly collided with a bread delivery truck.

Little did I know, the evening was about to get a lot scarier.

We finally arrived at our destination in one piece and climbed off the bus. We were told to meet in three hours and given tickets to the attractions. 

The fall adventure that ensued was not what I had in mind. 

We joined the line of people waiting to get on the hayride. When we reached the front, we realized too late that we were not in line for a hayride at all. I had inadvertently signed up for a terrifying haunted house – rated five skulls on the scary scale! Werewolves and mad scientists jumped out in strobe-lit rooms, and we were warned to watch out for rats as hissing air hit our ankles. I thought I might faint.

Just when I thought we’d survived the ordeal and could finally retreat to the chateau to sip that cider, a teenager dressed as a vampire informed me that we had only finished the first part of the haunted house. There were multiple parts! 

This time of year, we’re bombarded with spooky stories and decorations crafted to put a chill down our spines. But it’s much easier to admit that a jumpscare from someone in a mask frightens me than to confront the real monsters hiding in my closet: my fears about the future, my wonderings if whether work matters, the loneliness that creeps up on me when I least expect it.

What haunts your life?

Maybe you thought you’d be further along in your career by now, and you’re anxious about what that means for your future. Or perhaps a relationship that once brought you joy is in pieces, and now you’re scared of the unknown ahead.

The thing about our fears is that when we try to push them away, they don’t stay hidden for long. Have you ever laid in bed at night, only to have your mind replay every worry and whisper every what-if?

Fears fester in the dark, but in Christ, you have the power to bring them to light.

When we finally escaped the never-ending maze of haunted houses that cold October night, I was exhausted. Determined to redeem the evening, I convinced my friends we still had time for cider. We huddled in the building, unwinding our scarves and shedding our jackets for the warm, well-lit room with no monsters in sight.

We laughed about the night’s shenanigans as we sipped our steaming mugs. But as we made our way to the parking lot under the starry sky, my heart sank. It was empty. We had missed the bus! I had been scared of the fog machines and flashing lights, but now a deeper fear set in: how would we ever get home?

I felt panic rising. My boyfriend could see the tears welling in my eyes. “What are we going to do?” I asked, imagining us stranded forever. (I have always had a vivid imagination.)

He calmly reached for his flip phone and called his brother, who lived nearby. “He’ll be here in ten minutes,” he said, closing his phone with a reassuring snap.

Life is unpredictable. It’s scary, then it’s not, and then it’s scary all over again.

We’re not guaranteed a life without fear. Fear is a normal part of being human – and it’s a normal part of being a human who loves Jesus, too.

When fears and what-ifs surround me, I remember three things I took away from my college adventure to the haunted house:

• Go toward the light. Darkness may surround you, but it doesn’t have the final say. God’s goodness and glory get the last word. When what haunts you feels overwhelming, remember John 1:5 (NIV): “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

• Name your fears. There is power in simply acknowledging the monsters that hide under our beds. Sometimes, I think saying I’m scared makes me weak or shows a lack of faith. But when we name our fears, we can begin to move through them. And when we’re brave enough to name our fears, we can cast them on God because God cares for us. (1 Peter 5:7)

• Don’t do it alone. When I realized we missed the bus, I panicked. But I wasn’t alone. Let others into your fears. Galatians 6:2 reminds us, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”  Those willing to walk through the scariest parts of life with you are the ones to hold onto. (That boyfriend became my husband!)

When fears keep you up at night, remember: just as a child with a nightmare calls out to their parent, you can trust that God — the Light of the world — will be with you through every scary moment.

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