No one was more surprised than me when those dinner plates left my hands and went through the kitchen window. Even now, it’s hard for me to share that terrible moment openly, even though it happened many years ago. As a Jesus-loving woman, I never thought that I would lose control in such a spectacular way.

After I unfroze from the horror of seeing what I’d done, I grabbed a broom and dustpan, hoping to erase the evidence of what I’d done. I looked at the broken plates and cried. The only thing that survived my meltdown was a white Corelle mug that blessedly honored its no-break guarantee.

While that mug didn’t break, it was time to admit I finally had.

That morning, I was overwhelmed by circumstances out of my control, and the pressure of stress, fear, and anxiety swelled up within me like air inside a giant party balloon. Those emotions grew instead of me, stretching my ability to cope. All it took was one terrible fight for me to pop. I exploded like a latex balloon all over the people around me.  

Have you ever popped because of stress or overwhelm? Perhaps you screamed at the kids, slammed some doors, withdrew, or isolated yourself. These are all common responses when too much stress overwhelms our lives.

Do you think about who is impacted by your stress and how it affects them?

Is it the people that you love, like friends and family? Perhaps it’s people that you lead at work or church. It could be random people that you let into your life. Regardless of who it is, it’s unfair to them when our stress explodes.

Years ago, I experienced two crucial a-ha moments that helped me stop blaming others for my stress and protect my relationships from my stress. Ultimately, I had to learn to take my stress to God instead of taking it out on others. The first a-ha moment was learning the difference between stress and stressors:

Stress: Your body’s response to how you’re handling the world around you.

Stressors: The people, places, or things you’re reacting to.

Why is this distinction important? If we blame stress other people, we will make them responsible for our stress. Then, we will treat them like enemies by weaponizing our stress and using it against them. We may launch angry words and grenades or run people over with our tanks of controlling behaviors.

In fact, Satan would love it if you took your stress out on the people closest to you. Ultimately, Satan wants you to confuse your reaction with your relationship in hopes that you will destroy your relationship with your response.

However, God invites us to take our stress to Him instead of taking it out on others.

The first step in taking your stress to God is remembering that Jesus has already won your victory over the worries of this life.

“I have told you all this so you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.“ John 16:33 NLT.

Where we focus on problems, Jesus leads with peace. Our stress happens when we believe that our problems are too big to be covered by the peace and power of Jesus. We’re reminded that Jesus has overcome the world, so whatever is stressing you out today may be too much for you, but it’s not too much for God to handle for you.

The second step is specifically about not taking your stress out on others. I developed this Stress Clarity Exercise to remind me not to blame others for my stress. If you have people in your life that you associate with your stress, try this exercise:

Stress Clarity Exercise: ________ is not the cause of my stress.

Even though I feel _________ because of ____________, I will not blame my reactions on it/them.

My reaction is my responsibility.

I pray that this simple tool equips you to take your stress to God instead of taking it out on others. Note: Even though your stress reaction is your responsibility, you can do this exercise and activate protective boundaries where needed.

The blessing of taking our stress to God is an opportunity for us to let God take care of our stress and worries so that we can take better care of the people closest to us.

 

Barb’s new book and Bible study, Stronger Than Stress equips you to win the battle of stress and overwhelm with ten spiritual practices that teach you to live with less stress and more peace every day.

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