Right now is a strange time to be online.
Not on the beautiful site where you might be reading these words, a place full of encouragement. Or in your inbox, which hopefully brings a curated collection of goodness (amidst the ads and spam and to-dos).
I’m talking about in the comments. The wilderness of the world wide web.
Last week a stranger screenshot a story I shared on Instagram. Pulled it out of context. Posted it to her followers. Pointed them in my direction.
Next thing I knew, my DMs exploded with angry strangers. Calling me names. Questioning my beliefs. Cursing and condemning me.
Then they started tagging me in other posts, horrible diatribes that had nothing to do with what I had shared. My head was spinning: what was happening? I watched in real time as the anger and intensity of our present moment erupted before my eyes, spewing heat and burning ash.
As an author who’s been writing online for years, I’m well versed in the ways people often respond (or rather, react) on social media. But the experience of being wildly misunderstood and attacked by strangers in a targeted campaign — this was bizarre and brand-new.
I tried to remember how Jesus handled conflict. He asked questions. He stood firm. He spoke truth. He stayed calm. He went off by Himself to pray.
As an introvert who loves silence and stillness, I started with the last one. Took a few days offline. Talked with my spouse and friends. Tried to pray for wisdom and clarity.
After I let my anxiety run its course, I came back online. Deleted the cruel comments. Prayed over the DMs. Blocked one person who couldn’t engage with decency.
I kept going because I have seen how the good of social media can far outweigh the bad. We can learn from each other, grow in faith, build relationships across differences, and support each other through challenges. Even Christian community can thrive online: I have seen it with my own eyes.
But long ago I decided that fighting with strangers on the Internet was not part of my calling. As someone who writes publicly, I have to protect my wellbeing while sharing my life through words. If I want to be right or be liked more than I strive to bring the love of Christ, then I will stumble every time.
Here’s the hard truth that I had to relearn:
We need to love our neighbor and our enemy everywhere.
Jesus never gave us an “Internet out” to let us be snarky or cruel or cutting in the comments, even (and especially) when we feel like righteous warriors. We have to figure out how to treat each person as a beloved child of God, whether or not we can look them in the face — the very face that God knows and adores.
I hate to tell you that there is no crystal-clear, comprehensive Handbook For Being A Person Of Faith Online. But we do have the wisdom and truth of Scripture to guide us. In particular, Paul’s words strike me squarely between the eyes when I read them in our Internet era:
“Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Do not lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all…Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Romans 12:9-18, 21 NRSV
Paul’s words remind us that we are called to be the same online as we are in person.
Genuine. Good. Hopeful. Ardent. Patient. Peaceful. Compassionate.
We will meet challenges and conflicts. But we can still be people of conviction and compassion. We can speak for truth and love.
We know we can do this, because Jesus did.
When I get lost online and have to find my bearings again, I try to remember what has helped in the past.
- Pray before you post.
- Take a deep breath to ground yourself in the Holy Spirit.
- Forgive others and ask for forgiveness.
- Look to wise leaders.
- Keep Jesus’s welcome and wisdom before your eyes.
We can never know what is going on behind someone’s screen. Behind Internet bravado or cyberbullying stands a broken, hurting human — every single time. And while we never have to accept abuse or injustice, we can learn to become wiser in the ways we live and move and have our being online. We can follow Paul’s instructions and encouragement, to live a Christian life no matter where we are.
Above all, we can keep the courage of Christ always before us.
(Even when we check the comments.)
Dear Laura
Your faith in Christ, Your compassion for others who disagrees (vehemently!) and distorts your writing ~ is grace in action. Only Jesus can work that grace in all of us. May we be the little light that shine in the dark.
Look forward to your writings
Each incourage articles and stories have encouraged, challenged in courageous ways, and made me lift my eyes to our Heavenly Father in hope and thanksgiving.
God bless,
Cindy
Amen !
Thank you, Cindy! I am so grateful for your encouragement. We can all be the light together.
A similar thing happened to me. I nicely explained why I posted and others kindly said why they think the fiery darts flew toward me. It really upset me so I dropped out of that group. I didn’t want to be around such mean, hateful people who mocked God. I don’t miss that drama or those people. I pray for them.
Thank you for this article Laura. It is so needed as we deal with the often wild social media streets. Blessings friend.
Amen to that! It helps so much to know we are not alone in this.
Amen to what Cindy said! Praying blessings on your work and ministry, and asking God to open the eyes of understanding for all of us and to help us to remember to let our light shine even and especially online and when we are not face to face with another person.
Thank you so much, Judy! Grateful for your prayers & encouragement.
This was such a wonderful reminder, I have some conflict going on and I needed to be reminded of how Jesus handled conflict! So much of what you said just helped me sort my situation out. Thank you for your words and truth!
Stacey, I am so humbled & grateful to know that this spoke to you! Praying for you in your own challenges. Thanks for being here.
God has spoken to your heart in a rich way. He has soundly given you insight for handling conflicts and I am thankful for you sharing them. I pray that you remain the blessing you are for… you are needed in this space!
He lives!
He lives indeed! Thank you so much, Angela. Your own words are lifting me up today.
I love your posts❣️Sorry that happened to you.
Thank you, Pat. So grateful to you for reading along.
Laura,
I’m so sorry this happened to you! I agree that we can use the Internet for good so I shared your post x2!
Sending you Joy,
Lisa Wilt
So grateful for your sharing, Lisa! With you in hope for the good we can do together.
I took this exact topic to the Lord this morning. He answered my prayer through you. Thank you!
Aleta, this is amazing! So grateful it spoke to you. The Spirit works for good in the smallest details!
I can relate to your post.
a youtuber posted misconstruing videos claiming his first amendment rights were violated by my husband who was following protocol. His followers harassed our family for years via the internet and our home/cell phones. it was an awful experience. frightening actually. I am sorry you had to experience that as well. I hope this post lights a spark of kindness.
Oh Geralyn, what a terrible situation. I’m so sorry this happened to you. Praying for your continued healing and peace of mind.
Facebook and the internet in general has the capability of ruining people’s lives. It has come close to sending my daughter into a place she could not have recovered from. Thank you for your words❤️
Praying for you and your daughter, Kathy. I agree that we have to be so careful with these digital spaces. But I am grateful to connect with you here!
Excellent advice and reminders!
Thank you so much, Debbie! I think I needed my own advice again today too. 😉
When I opened this post and read it my spirit was lifted. I often get so upset with the ugliness posted online. I want to respond, but I don’t because I feel that my hasty response would promote a hail storm of pure ugliness. Your post of personal actions(praying) to take before posting was just what I needed. Thank you and God bless you and keep posting as the Holy Spirit leads you. Someone else might be inspired to be mindful of the words they post.
I agree with you, Robbie – it’s so easy to get overwhelmed with what to say or not say online. Praying before posting definitely helps me. Sometimes my knee jerk reaction is not what the world needs! And when we ask God to open our lips and speak for us, we can trust that we’ll be given more peaceful, loving, truthful words that what we might originally come up with ourselves.
Dear Laura…………….The first sentence in your devotion sounds like 77 year old me. I retired right when the Internet really came to all of us. My ex-husband refused to allow me to have a computer or even a cell phone. I never learned anything and I have a WOW Computer, made specifically for Seniors so when he got dementia (Violent) and came very close to killing me and the police told me I needed to get him evicted from the house for my safety. His neurologist said the next time he WILL kill you with a gun and not remember it. I did start on Social Media and I had a very nasty experience. First, my SS# somehow ended in the dark Web and I ended up being charged over $4,000 in Apple phone calls. The next thing was social media scammed me for $30,000 dollars that I did not get back. Again I was told by many people and organizations told me to get off of social media and I did. I know there are great sites there like yours, but I can’t take a chance that someone will contact me and do exactly what happened to you, Laura. Obviously, many people do not believe like we do. I pray all the time and have many of the (in)courage books that I use all the time. I am very nice to all people in person and have helped many of them I live in a facility with over 100 people that are much older than me and have many problems. I do too, but that is too long of a story. Besides my husband having dementia, I have 1 54 year old son and 1 13 year old grandson. My son called me one night before this whole mess started and told me I was lying and there is nothing wrong with Dad. I was leaving him VM’s every week asking for his help to convince Jim that he had to get back to the doctors and follow their orders. He would not do this and at that point he said he no longer considered me his mother and I would not ever be able to see or talk to my grandson. It has been 2 years and my son knows I wasn’t lying but never came back to me. It continues to be a heartbreaking situation, but I continue to pray and Jesus and God have helped me to not be crushed every day. I don’t cry nearly as much as I used to. I had asked if I could place these serious problems at Jesus’s feet and it has made me much more calm. I still have once in awhile what I call Sorrow Days when I have to just let it all out. Thank you Laura for your words and what you did. I know exactly how you felt with what happened to you. I send my prayers to you that this never happens again and my love to you and your family. I told you just a bit of my other problems. There is much more but I would not want to bother you with more terrible things I am dealing with…………………………..Betsy Basile
Praying mightily for you, Betsy. I am so sorry for all the suffering that you are carrying. Praying for God to come close with the peace that surpasses understanding. Thank you for being here.
“I tried to remember how Jesus handled conflict. He asked questions. He stood firm. He spoke truth. He stayed calm. He went off by Himself to pray.”
I yearn to be more like Jesus instead of being a hot-headed replica of my parents and/or an anxiety-ridden emo toddler. My leanings aren’t holy… YET. Lord, please transform my thinking AND my responses to be more like You. Conflict is everywhere, but so is Your perfect grace.
I hope that didn’t sound disrespectful to my precious parents. It’s truth. They, too, had to raise children in a stressful and perverse world. But I recognize a need to undo what was done in front of me when it comes to how I respond to what’s around me.
I hear you, Libby – I think I was preaching to myself (and my own temper) with this one! It’s a lifelong lesson, I think, to try and respond like Christ and not in so many of the other ways that can become our habit. Thanks for naming this.
Incredible grace and wisdom. Thank you for writing this. Hugs and prayers ❤️
Thank you so much, Terry. Grateful for your words & encouragement.
Dear Laura,
You said there wasn’t a handbook. But really you just gave us one! Thank you.
Ah, thank you so much, Irene! I didn’t even realize this, but if my words can be of service in this way, I’m grateful to the Spirit who inspired them!
Thank you so much, Laura, for your honest vulnerability and positive take on what must be a difficult situation to deal with. I and my business, Grace Travel Adventures, have been being attacked by criminals who have been calling people, saying they are from “Grace Travel” and harassing and even scamming them out of money since at least February this year. It has been challenging, to say the least. But praying with compassion for both the other victims of the scam (some of which have been threatening my biz) and also for the criminals themselves has been what has brought me from a place of anxiety, frustration, and occasionally even anger, to a place of calm, peace, and trust in our Lord. Hopefully it has also been a blessing to the people I’ve been praying for. God used your story this morning to bless me, reinforcing that by compassionate prayer, I am doing the right thing in this difficult situation.
April, what a stressful and chaotic struggle you have been living through. Praying for you and for a resolution to this trial. Your prayers of compassion are inspiring me – thank you for sharing this.
I have been off social media for two years as I found the bad far outweighed the good. And as I suffer seasons of depression and anxiety I must guard my heart. I do pray daily for my family, good friends and neighbors. That has proven to be the best and wisest path for me to follow. I am grateful for (in)courage and read it daily and pray for those who are suffering. God bless you all!
Thank you so much for reading and praying with us, Donna! I hear you: social media can take a huge toll on our mental health. It sounds like you made a wise discernment to steer clear of it. Praying for you and your ongoing path.
God bless you! Thanks for your wise thoughts. Hugs…
Thank you so much, Jane! Grateful to have you here.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Proud that you came back and addressed what happened to you and helped others/us learn from it.
God bless you and give you strength and joy!
Thank you so much, Debbie. Grateful to you for reading along!
Thank you for sharing your real life experience. You have role modeled for us how to respond in the spirit of Jesus!! Blessings to you as you continue writing.
This is so wise and so timely for me. Thank you. And I’m sorry for the other unkind posts you had to deal with. When they go low, we go high.
Thank you!
This is a good reminder. Always be kind.
Love this devotion. It’s chock full of practical wisdom. Thank you!!
My workplace was the subject of an internet attack, and it was awful. I can only imagine how much worse it would be for a personal attack. I’m so sorry you had to experience this. Thank you for sharing your story, and for your words of wisdom to the rest of us.