Months after he left, after he walked away from almost twenty years of marriage, I was still face down in the heartbreak of it all.

He’d chosen a different life—one that didn’t include me, my daughter, our friends, or our families. When the unthinkable crashes in and steals away all that’s familiar, it throws us into a deeply unwanted new normal.

And there I was, holding a broken covenant, consumed with confusion and fixated on the pain. Shame partnered with anxiety and, together, they spun a nasty narrative about my inadequacies, pointing a gnarled finger at all I could have — should have — done differently.

One morning, as I slid out of bed, anxiety greeted me with such force, it took my breath away. I couldn’t escape the words circling around in my head.

Rejectable.
Rejected.
Replaceable.

If you and I were sitting down together over coffee, I’d tell you all the details of that particular morning. Because that morning . . . everything changed. It was as though our Heavenly Father reached into my new, little life — into my new little apartment — and stopped the spin.

Gently, I felt Him prompt me to start writing. In particular, and this still gives me goosebumps, I felt Him say, “Write down all the ‘R’ words you can think of.”

I know, it seems odd. But, God speaks to us in ways that are uniquely meaningful to us. I love words. In particular, for as long as I can remember, I have loved “R” words. That morning, deep in the valley of rejection, I started writing down all the “R” words I could think of. I started with the obvious.

Rejected. Rejectable. Replaceable.

I circled them several times in my journal, just to remind Him of what I’d been through . . . as if He didn’t know. It’s hard for me to tell this story without emotion. Because as I wrote, focusing on what He asked me to focus on, the words began to change. After several seemingly meaningless words, I watched my pen write out the word Relish.

It was like the whole room disappeared, and I just sat staring at this strange word on my page.

“Relish?” I asked. “Like the condiment?”

“Look it up,” I sensed the Lord say.

Relish. To adore. To enjoy greatly. To add zest.

Leaping from my chair, I danced around my living room, tears of joy and gratitude free-flowing. In an instant, I understood. The King of Heaven adores me — He thinks I add zest. He enjoys me greatly!

No human rejection trumps this truth. No decision against me holds any weight when compared to His decision for me. He declares me irreplaceable. Wanted. Loved. Enjoyed. Worthy of the greatest pursuit of all time (John 3:16).

For many months, I had been seeing myself through the eyes of the man who had walked away instead of through the eyes of the One Who never would. The eyes and heart of the One Who is fully for us — Who chooses us again and again.

Oh, how my heart needed this message — and maybe yours does, too.

Maybe you’ve felt the heartache of rejection or betrayal. Maybe the trauma of your past spins a shame narrative in your soul. Or maybe, like so many of the women who come through the door of my counseling office, you battle the taunting of anxiety and wonder if you’ll ever feel good enough . . . if you’ll ever measure up.

Friend, please let your heart hear this: God wants you. The King of Heaven’s Armies is running to you. Defending you. Declaring you. Pursuing you. Choosing you — as though it was just you and Him.

If I could show you my journal from that morning, you’d see several passages written out in big, bold letters and circled with obvious enthusiasm. But I keep coming back to Isaiah 43:1, “‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.’”

Called by name by God Himself — we are His.

I wish I could tell you that the pain of betrayal and rejection ended that day. It didn’t. I still battled anxiety from time to time. And the ripple effect of a life undone still created waves of grief.

But what did change was how hard it landed. When I fully grasped Who chose me, it stopped mattering who didn’t. When I stayed focused on His truth and all He says about me, I found considerable relief from the lies handed down through the trauma.

So, in case you need to be reminded today, my friend, your Heavenly Father adores you. He thinks you add zest. No matter what has happened, He declares you chosen, irreplaceable, and wonderfully made.

May that truth linger long for you as you journey through all you might be facing today.

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