Last fall, after a two-year hiatus from running, I woke up on a sunny morning and laced up my sneakers.
I made my way to the track, brimming with optimism and an updated playlist for running. The sun’s rays beamed down on me, providing an extra layer of warmth. I felt a surge of energy as my feet hit the pavement. Anticipation and excitement simmered within as I reminisced about my running days in Illinois, and how much I missed them.
You got this! The voice of hope whispered. Yeah. I got this! I whispered back.
But my motivational pep talk waned as I forged ahead, panting and nearly gasping for air. Labored breathing. Racing heartbeat. Tight chest. Time to stop. My eyes widened when I checked my stopwatch.
Forty-five seconds? What a disappointment! What a waste of time! You’re never going to be able to run like before.
And, just like that, I allowed pessimism to replace the voice of hope. I trudged to my car, sulking and deeply disappointed. (Confession: I may have stopped by Dunkin’ Donuts on the way home to rid the bitter aftertaste of failure with a sweet treat.)
On the drive home, I expressed my disappointment and frustration to God, wondering how it was possible that I could fail this attempt at running when, just earlier that week, I dreamt I was effortlessly running around an outdoor track.
Still, I woke up with a renewed hope that I’d return to my former days — regularly running three miles, finishing my first 8K, completing my longest run at 12 miles, and training for the Chicago marathon. But all that changed when COVID-19 (then followed by long-COVID) symptoms brought my running to a halt in 2021.
I hung up my running shoes, but still told myself I’d get back there one day. I even told my friend that I would speak it by faith. I wrote the declaration in my prayer journal, though I didn’t fully believe it in my heart. I know the Bible says “faith without works is dead,” yet, still, I had tucked my sneakers into the back of the closet, watching them accumulate dust, week after week. This thing that I once enjoyed had become too daunting — the process felt like starting over. And, let’s be honest, beginning again isn’t always fun. Instead, it feels like a glaring reminder of suboptimal circumstances — a reality we never asked for.
Starting over in any area of our lives can feel overwhelming, but, truly, we don’t ever really restart from scratch because the experience, knowledge, and wisdom gained on our journey will always propel us on our journey.
Starting over is a courageous act that requires faith — and it’s okay to begin again. Sometimes, it’s even necessary.
I was reminded of this when I joined a running club recently and selected the beginner group. During the one-minute running intervals, I struggled to silence the critical voice about my slow pace. I silently prayed for God to help me. I didn’t want to focus on how I felt . . . I needed a fresh perspective.
After pushing myself to sprint uphill for the last minute of our session, the running coach sidled up beside me and complimented my form, saying, “I can see you as a long distance runner. Just be patient. You don’t want to get ahead of yourself and risk injury. You’ll get there soon enough.”
Her comment snapped me out of my trance. Though I was fixated on my current pace, she looked beyond and saw a long-distance runner. Her words challenged me. Why was I rushing the process? My coach saw my potential from afar — and I needed to do the same. I needed to believe that I could build endurance and increase my stamina.
I needed to extend grace to myself.
That’s how our Creator sees His children. God doesn’t hold us hostage to our past or compare who we are today to who we were yesterday. God sees us as the person He created us to be before He laid the foundations of the earth. He sees us ahead of time.
When we’re struggling while running the race of life, barely catching our breath, winded while climbing steep hills, God never changes His mind about us based on our performance. He is our Ultimate Coach — strengthening our feeble arms for the journey, propelling us forward through fatigue, quenching our thirst, and nourishing our weary souls.
When life happens and we want to give up, He reminds us who we are from His lens. We just need to trust the Coach and exercise patience with ourselves during the process — even if it means beginning again.
Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31
Karen Marie says
This is beautiful ! Reminds me to never give up with God by my side …always persevere!
Kendra Y. Mims says
Amen, Karen! God is always on our side and will help us. Thanks for reading. 🙂
Madeline says
This is a good reminder for me. I have a tendency to be bothered that I can’t do things as quickly or efficiently as I once did, if at all. I need to accept my age and look at what I can do to honor God, not myself.
Kathy Francescon says
I can so relate Madeline! For my size, I used to be pretty strong! Now I have a hard time opening screw on lids…but my heart for God has grown stronger than ever! There is still great strengths we can use for God, even though my hands, elbows, and knees won’t let me climb the ladder to clean out my gutters anymore! Go in the “strength of the Lord” dear sister!!
Kendra Y. Mims says
This is a great perspective! You are not alone in the struggle. 🙂
Cate says
I was literally struggling with this not only today but for a very long time…longer than I want to admit. I was all set to run the Key West Half Marathon in 2017. I even went there, checked in my hotel, grabbed a bite to eat…then I drank too much and slept through the race. I never went back to that level of running or training since. I’m now sober and I toy with the idea of starting over but of course…perfectionism…this is what I needed to see today. Praise to Jesus and thank you God! I’m going for a run after work today.
Kendra Y. Mims says
That’s great news, Cate! Perfectionism can prevent us from starting again or tries to make us feel inadequate. I felt the same way, but glad I tried again anyway. I hope you had a great run. 🙂
Amada (pronounced: a.m.a.TH.a) says
WOW! What a great devo for the end of a bad week, I needed this! Thank you!!!!!
Kendra Y. Mims says
I’m glad it encouraged you, Amada! Thanks for reading.
Lisa Wilt says
I love grace. I say it out loud when I need it. When I flub a pickle ball serve… when I spill Diet Dr. Pepper on my computer as I just did minutes ago.
I couldn’t live without grace.
And Kym – you go girl – I’ll cheer you on as you run.
I walk and feel good when I get my steps in.
Kendra Y. Mims says
Listen! Grace is everything! And I thank God for it.
Thank you, Lisa. Keep getting your steps in. 🙂
Rachel Marie Kang says
So thankful for your words here — have thought about them on my own runs. May you continue on the good path, encouraging others as you go along!
Kendra Y. Mims says
Thank you, Rachel!! Looking forward to it 🙂
Avril Occilien-Similien says
Such a great reminder of God’s grace and posture toward us…thank you!
Kendra Y. Mims says
Amen! God is so gracious. Always. Thanks for reading!
Molli says
Yes!! Our self is the last person we usually show grace to. When someone I know is berating themselves, I tell them to offer themselves some grace because you wouldn’t beat up a friend like that. You offer a friend grace and forgiveness and that is what we should offer ourselves as well.
Kendra Y. Mims says
Love this advice, Molli! I can be hard on myself too. But it’s important to be kind and extend grace to ourselves. Your words are a great reminder.
Jill says
I’m reading this a few days after it was originally posted; it’s timing couldn’t be more perfect for me this Monday morning.
Kendra Y. Mims says
Glad this piece encouraged you, Jill. Hope you have a great week.
Olivia says
Thank you for your inspiring words. Hope springs eternal. It is renewed each morning, really with each breath we take.
Kendra Y. Mims says
Amen, Olivia! Every morning. Thank you for reading.
Beth Williams says
Kendra,
Asking God to assist you in your running goals. I am a harsh critic of myself. Make a mistake, do the wrong thing, etc. all I will hear is “stupid, not good enough”. Like Jesus I need to give myself grace to have a redo. Thankful God loves us no matter what.
Blessings 🙂