About the Author

Dorina is an author, speaker, teacher, foodie, and trail runner. She helps people chase God's glory down unexpected trails and flourish in their callings. Her most recent books are Breathing Through Grief and Chasing God's Glory. Dorina and her hubby Shawn are raising three courageous daughters in Central California.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
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(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
DaySpring.com
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  1. This month of Mother’s Day, I’m reminded of the anticipatory grief I experienced a few years ago as I watched my Mother’s body succumb to cancer. It’s a real, deep experience I found I needed to give space to. We should be more aware of this type of grieving as we grow older and give ourselves grace when the tears come.
    -Kellie

  2. I too am in the graduation season, my heart is so proud but at the same time is sad. Watching my only child grow into an incredible young man is the greatest gift of all. The anticipatory grief is real and catches me more often than not. It’s a confusing time and I just want to take every second in and celebrate. There will be time for ugly crying when we’re back home and he’s thriving in college! Prayers to all the parents out there may god watch over all of us and our graduates as they embark on this new chapter, lord keep them safe and fill them with your love and spirit. Guide them and bless them at school and may they grow up to be men and women of godly leadership in their generation.

  3. Thank you for this devotion today, so timely. God knows all the intimate details. Right now, my Mom (who is in a nursing home close to my home), has dementia and has pneumonia. I grieve her every day. I know God’s way and timing are not mine, but she is His, her Heavenly Father who knows best. I too am glad that God knows me, and I pray to trust & hope in Him every day. I miss her already. Pray for God’s Mercy & Peace.

  4. Oh my word.. I now have a name for this grief I feel as I’m losing my husband of nearly 50 years to heart disease. Watching him struggle to breathe with any type of exertion, sleeping the days away, and listening to every sound through the night, has me so weary. My heart flip flops and adds to my anxiousness.
    Thank you for this timely word. ❤️

  5. My mom is 93 and has lost much of her sight and hearing, leading to a loss of self-worth and purpose. She talks more and more about not being here, and that grieves me. She is still sharp, but is depressed about her life and the world. Please pray for peace for her, and for her daughters as we prepare for losing her. Thank you.

  6. Please pray for me. My anticipatory grief swells as my youngest son again faces a judge who I expect will send him to prison again. My son doesn’t seem to understand what his poor choices are doing to me. I am grieving while he still walks among us.

    • Beth,

      Father be with Beth as she grieves the choices her son is making. Change his heart & turn him back around towards you. Give her peace & comfort during this time. AMEN

  7. Such very powerful words. I kid you not, yesterday I was pondering the issue of the settlement of my father’s estate and the relationships with my three older brothers. My oldest brother is getting very close to retirement. He would love to be able to retire and live in one of the homes that is part of our father’s estate. My prayer yesterday was that God would allow that dream of his to come true. I am worried that this process will take so long that he won’t ever get to experience it. His life has been marked by a lot of disappointment and unfulfilled dreams. He also has battled cancer. I was grieving this loss even before it has happened. I grieve the life that he wanted for himself, the life that he deserved. I prayed “God please allow him to experience this one victory”. It’s so hard when the life you imagine does not even come close to your expectations. Thank you for sharing the examples of Mary. I’m holding on to hope that God will answer my prayer.

  8. Dorina…..You asked what kind of things we were facing this Month of May. Well, 4/20/2023 was a changing point in my life.
    Two and a half years before that, I noticed my husband’s memory was fading and told him we should get him to a doctor. He said it was just old age. It was not and we went to a neurologist and a psychoneurologist it was confirmed that his brain was damaged and he had “short Term Dementia”, the worst kind you could have as you can fool people for about 10 minutes, but he will not remember he even talked to you 10 minutes after that. I have 1 son and he took his father’s side and told me I was lying and it was old age. He never came down with our 1 grandson that whole year of 2023 so there was no way in a short text that he would ever know. Anyway..my son, Aron called me and told me I was a liar and he does not consider me his mother anymore nor could I see my grandson. It broke my heart. My husband is still in denial after 6 years and that 4/20/23 date is the night he almost killed me. This time a finally got my 911 call through only he did not notice the light on the phone was still on and that the 911 dispatcher was hearing and taping everything going on. The police were there in 5 minutes and there was a lot of blood falling from my hand. I had a PFA filed against him and he is in a facility, but our son put him in Independent living so he still has a car and all the other perks. Sorry for this long buildup, but you have to know part of it to understand what I am facing in May. 1. April the 20th it is one year that I have struggling thru this. 2. My son know how sick his father now but never came back to me and 4/28 was his 54th birthday..sent him a nice card, no response. 3. Today 5/6 is my husband’s birthday and I sent him a card………….no response. 4. My mother died on 5/13 2016 because my sister who was living with her was not there. She was found in the bathtub unresponsive and we don’t know for how long or what happened. My sister called me, but would not wait 10 minutes so I could follow her to the hospital I was not familiar with. My husband was in Italy so no help there. 5. My mother was in the hospital 3 days, unresponsive and died. I never had a chance to tell my mother how much I loved her and to say goodbye.This was also heartbreaking as my mother and I were very close. 6. So I missed Mother’s Day an every May, Mother’s Day makes me cry. 7. Her birthday was also 5/ 29 so I am always thinking of her. That is not the end of the story, but I have already taken up too much of your time and I have probably been boring you, but I loved your story and I do have some (in) courage that I do everyday………..Love you all……..Betsy Basile

    • Betsy, sharing our stories is such a powerful path to healing. I appreciate knowing more of yours. God be with you in the grief. He hears our lament!

    • Betsy,

      You haven’t taken up to much of my time today. It is important for you to tell someone your problems. God said to share our burdens with one another & that is what you are doing. I will be praying for you & your family. It is sad that there hasn’t been any reconciliation. Abba Father please be with Betsy. She has been through a lot these past few years. Give her some peace & calm during these trying times. AMEN

  9. My husband died two years ago, shortly before our only daughter’s high school graduation. He had battled brain cancer for 16 years, so there was much anticipatory grief. And there was grief with each loss along the way related to his career, his physical abilities, his communication abilities… The end was in one way a relief because he was released. Yet the grieving continues with each milestone – her graduation, starting college, her first love. And it will keep coming. But the Lord is Faithful in every way and in every circumstance. We lean into the Holy Spirit who is there to comfort and reframe and bring beauty from ashes. And with each recovery from the latest trigger, we grow stronger in our faith and confidence that our Lord is Good and will keep his promises.

  10. Dorina,

    It never ceases to amaze me what God uses to tether us to Himself. He works wonders in mysterious ways. I have faced many trials with my aging parents (now deceased). God is helping me use that knowledge to assist my patients. I shower God’s love on & encourage them daily. Trying to pick up their spirits & make their hospital stay a bit brighter more cheery.

    Blessings 🙂

  11. Thank you for the reminder to treasure the hard times just the same as the good times. I know this and I do this but the last couple days I have felt off…..my husband has stage 4 head & neck cancer, he has been sick since 2020, and I have been caring for him the past 18 months, the days are so long and hard, yet I don’t want to miss anything because I know someday he won’t be here and I will regret not doing everything I can for him. And at the same time my kids have been through so much, they were 6 and 10 when he was diagnosed, kindergarten and 4th grade, and they are now 10 and 14. Entering middle school and high school. I have so much anticipatory grief that I can not even wrap my mind around it all. I feel like I’m losing my husband, missing out on all the things my kids need me for, I feel like the last 4 years have flown by in a blink even though they are long and hard, and I am afraid of missing out on the all the things the next 4 years bring with HS and MS. And how will I know what to do, as a single mom, taking care of everything, grieving all the things we have lost as a family, yet knowing the hard times have made us stronger…. I know I just need to keep trusting God, I know all the right answers but I just don’t feel them right now. I need to remember that there is a time for everything….Ecclesiastes comes to my mind. I need to find all the verses that speak to me and let them renew my heart and mind, and pray God gives my weary mind, body and soul the strength I need to continue to do my best for the 4 of us.

    • Hi Sarah,
      I read your text nodding with understanding and tearing up. My heart goes out to you. My husband was diagnosed w stage 4 aggressive head/neck 2 years ago. Surgery, chemo/radiation. Healing. Then lung cancer, metastasized to brain. Radiation. Chemo. All w the intention of buying us time. We have a son in MS and HS. anticipatory grief Is so real. Now I have a name for it. We are thankful for each day that God gives us. That’s what we try to focus on. But when I think past THIS day my mind and heart wants to worry, to try to plan. And I can’t fix this. I try to bring my mind back to God Knows and Sees and Cares and Loves. I pray for strength for you, that God gives us HIS strength to be present in this season and confident of His love and provision. That He sees the whole path when we can only see the day in front of us. Praying for you and sending you a big Hug. ❤️

  12. Thank you also Dorina and all of the brave women reading and commenting here. My heart goes out to each one of you. It helps to know that we are not alone. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. May God gives us all strength, patience, rest and wisdom for each season we are in. Our glance on our circumstance and our eyes on our Heavenly Father who promises to never leave us or forsake us. That no matter this path here, He will walk with us. And remind our hearts of the promise of a joyful eternity with Him.

  13. This anticipatory grief is most definitely what I had as a birthmother leading up to my daughter’s open adoption placement. Now 33 years later still experience this twinge when we’re visiting near the end of our time together. I hold on to my birth granddaughter I won’t see across the country for several months. Grieving I’m not part of their daily life. It’s such a bittersweet letting go over and over.

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