Of course, “spring forward” would fall on the day you have to leave the house, fully ready for a dance competition at 5:30 a.m. You pack four costume changes in garment bags. Tuck accessories, shoes, and extra hairpins into zippered pouches. You stress-snap a few times as you now prepare for bed at an unusually early hour.
By the time your alarm goes off at 3 a.m., you’ve already been awake several times, anticipating the energy and camaraderie that these competition days are made of, yes, but first, the hour you spend with your open Bible and a present Jesus. You’re nearing the end of Mary Demuth’s book, 90-Day Bible Reading Challenge, which you could read faster, but instead your soul lingers in this sacred hour. You whisper verses out loud. Underline it all. Pause to pray and journal. Kneel in surrender.
Thing is, you’ve grown accustomed to being up early, as well as being wide awake in the middle of the night. Sleep’s been scarce ever since the first round of book proposal pitches went out. You expected rejections, but not a simultaneous diagnosis for someone you love that was praying for miraculous healing.
During this season, you’ve cried buckets all over the place — not because you were sad but because God was near. Overwhelming, glory-heavy close. You fell to your knees because you couldn’t stand. Still, you discovered how differently you know God here. You woke throughout the night with the lyrics of worship songs running through your head, as if you never turned the songs off. Repeatedly, you checked the clock to see how soon you could steal away with Jesus.
That time alone with Him before the rest of the world awoke refueled you — it was, and still is, the one thing you won’t miss.
But now, it’s been a year, and you’re still not sleeping through the night. Calling it quits on getting some shut eye if it’s after 4:30 a.m. You wonder, when you’re restless and willing yourself to sleep, sleep, sleep if anyone else is awake, and frustrated. Googling insomnia solutions. Opening Instagram.
The reasons that keep us up at night are varied and persistent:
- End stops (we didn’t ask for).
- Ampersands (that don’t make sense yet).
- Em-dashes (with the rest unwritten).
We worry. Replay. Pray. Formulate plans. Count sheep. Then, hours until our alarm, we scroll.
It’s just us, we think. But it’s not. I know because, in the wee hours of the night, you’ve asked me to pray for you. You’ve texted, commented, or “liked” my posts late at night.
Although he lived long before our time, King David was also often awake during the middle of the night. I find that bit of comforting knowledge, scattered throughout the book of Psalms. David’s faith is strong, and often praised, but he’s human and he’s honest . . . and I love how relatable he is as he recounts his fears, tears, prayers, and praises.
He doesn’t mince around agony or anxiety. And he’s forthright about sleep often evading him. Here are a couple verses from a Psalm I recently read:
O Eternal One, through the night, I stop to recall Your name. That’s how I live according to Your teachings.
Psalm 119:55
In the middle of the night, I wake to thank You because Your rulings are just and right.
Psalm 119:62
What tugs at me is that David isn’t worried about becoming sleep-deprived or being awake because of worry. On the contrary, waking hours contain barely enough time and space for his burning longing to talk with, think on, and praise God.
David welcomes his sleepless nights because his soul craves more of God. This is why he can’t sleep — he simply can’t get enough.
I’ve tasted this ache just enough to know that it grows. Certainly, hunger whets desire.
One thing I know is true: There’s no end to how much of God we can access. Right in our everyday lives, with concerns big and small. David must have grasped this . . . and that is why he relentlessly sought time with God.
What if you and I couldn’t get enough of God? Maybe we’d seek Him during the day and at night when we can’t sleep.
Instead of worry, we’d turn to prayer.
Instead of our phones, we’d choose our knees.
Instead of frustration, we’d voice our praise.
So, here’s to holy expectancy. God-perspective. Sweet sleep and, when it evades us?
More of Jesus.
Ella Herlihy says
Love this. As menopause creates a new sleep rhythm (or lack thereof), what a great reminder to use the time for connection with God and prayer, not worry about falling back asleep.
Twyla says
So fun to see your name pop up here, friend! May those sleepless moments become sweet time with Jesus.
Kathy says
Perfect. This is so me. Thanks for the perspective. God bless!
Twyla says
Grateful it was helpful! Those verses wrecked me. Here’s to the overwhelming presence of Jesus when we’re asleep, and when we’re wide awake!
Gail says
Twyla, I’m very interested in your ministry. It’s right where God is speaking to me right now. I signed up for your emails and the sample from your book. Thanks for sharing.
Twyla says
So great to connect with you, Gail! I’d love to hear how God’s nudging you in this direction.
Madeline says
I am ever so grateful to everyone associated with this site including those like me who respond with thoughts and experiences. I appreciate everyone’s courage to share. And I am so appreciative of knowing that I am not alone- it’s not just me! It is a rarity that I do not share an experience with what I read here. So many thanks as I sit here bleary eyed from another restless night due to allergies, financial constraints, and just life in general. And wow- I never thought about David not being able to sleep.
Twyla says
Grateful for your presence here too! This is the most encouraging community. And goodness, so sorry sleep is that scarce. Praying for relief and healing rest, and more Jesus in every moment.
Rachel says
So tired, and sleep feels impossible sometimes. Thank you for the reminder that I’m not alone, and I need to get on my knees in praise rather than resent those hours awake in the dark.
Twyla says
Not alone. We’re raising our hands with you, friend. And Jesus is ever close.
Betsy Basile says
Hi Twyla…I loved your story. About 7 to 10 years ago, I experienced this same thing, but know I know what to do. Exactly what you listed in your story and it definitely works. Difficult situations can really disturb your sleep, but I am doing much better now with my sleep. Thank you for your story today……………..Betsy Basile
Twyla says
So glad to know you’ve experienced the joy of late-night time with Jesus. It’s sweet in a way no other time is.
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Thank you so much for good reading Twyla. It has spoken to me. That we can access God any time. As God’s there is there for us all the time. God loves us to access him. Especially when we need help with something and he is the only person that can give us the right help. So we have to not be afraid to go to God in prayer and ask for God to help us. God will gladly help us. In the way that right for us in that problem we taken to him prayer. All we have to do is listen to God’s Holy Spirit speaking to us. To know how to do the right thing for the prayer requests we asked God to help us with. God might not answer us right away. Why that is to see how much we trust him to answer our prayers request we have ask him to help us with. As at times when we get we have a problem we instead of going to God right away in prayer. We can get that we go to other people first. But if we can find that the person we have ask to help us with prayer requests don’t help us as well as we have when we ask God first. So it’s always good to go to God first in prayer for his help. Do what God through his Holy Spirit tell us. Love today’s reading. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little
Twyla says
He never denies us wisdom when we ask or His presence when we seek Him. What a bountiful love!!!
Lisa Wilt says
Amen and Amen What’s the name of your future book? I’ll pray specifically that publishers hearts are open when they read it.
Twyla says
Your kind comment touched me, like a hug straight from God. Thank you for praying! We’re actually in the middle of pitching and conversations for a different book than the one I mentioned in this story.
Ralinda says
This resounds with me. Sleepless night exhausts me. I will turn to Him even more in the middle of the night. Thanks for the reminder.
Twyla says
So sorry you’re behind on sleep too! Hugs, and may Jesus meet you in those moments.
Rachel Marie Kang says
Every time I tried to come here to leave a comment, it didn’t work. Finally now stopping by to say I loved this piece and hope you continue to follow the bread crumbs of this topic. So good and wise. Thanks for sharing these words with (in) — we’re thankful for you!
Twyla Franz says
You’re the kindest! So grateful for your encouragement, Rachel!
Beth Williams says
Twyla,
Over the years I’ve grown closer to God. When I wake up at night I start praying for people, praising & thanking Jesus for all He’s done for me. Seems lately that I only want to hear Christian music. When at work Christian songs run through my mind. I access God all the time!
Blessings 🙂
Twyla Franz says
Oh Beth, how I’d love to meet you and hear the songs running through your head!