I gripped my stomach as ripples of humor turned into roars that opened my mouth wide, and squeezed tears out my eyes and down my cheeks. Laughter triggered by seemingly insignificant causes… simple phrases, witty placement of words, the processes that we as women all go through that we may cry about in the moments of their happening, but laugh about as we look back.
I could barely catch my breath, or catch up with the overwhelming need to release all that had apparently been pent up inside me the last several months. I could not remember the last time I had laughed so deeply or loudly.
The very act of laughing until I couldn’t breathe brought unexpected healing to me.
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
Proverbs 17:22 NIV
On the surface, it didn’t make sense; I sat at a table with women I had just met. Yet in that space, the permission to venture into authentic community had been laid out like the most lush of red carpets. It was an invitation to walk freely into the room, not shielding part of me in fear, but bringing all of my quirks, experiences, nerves, and needs to the table.
When I got on the plane to attend the (in)courage retreat, I didn’t know that as I stepped foot on the ground — even amid the hard things we carried — I would step into a group that cultivated joy.
It’s not that joy and laughter had been far from me, but perhaps these feelings had been so weighed down by so much over these past few years that I hadn’t given myself permission to lean in.
A few years ago, my husband mentioned that I wasn’t as silly as I used to be. I actually didn’t get offended at that moment, which might’ve been my propensity early on in our marriage. Instead, I sat and chewed on his words. Over the years a part of me had taken a back seat to fear. The part of me that used to dance down the hallway of the church or react enthusiastically. But over time my enthusiasm was met with a side eye from others until those side glances lanced my heart and compelled me to simmer down.
I wonder how often we hinder our joy response because the place we reside has not welcomed it. Joy is not always represented by cackles and roars of exuberant laughter. Joy may show up in the permission to sit silently, to not have to say a word, to just soak in. It may be found indulging in that treat you love, participating in the nerdy activity that you geek out over, or in the favorite book that you’ve read 100 times.
Joy just might be found as you finally schedule that girls’ night, go on the date with your husband that you’ve been putting off so long, or maybe lie on the floor, set your to-do list aside, and build a Lego castle with your kids. (At least there will be less to step on, right?) Perhaps joy is engaging in a snowball fight with your neighbors, going on a much-needed walk, or lying down for that much-needed nap.
Joy just might be found when you release whatever you’re gripping and remember that you’ve already been found. And then you can decide that if there’s not a safe place to engage in Christ-centered joy, you can give yourself permission to form it for yourself. In doing so, you’ll lay a path for others as you press forward into joy too.
Maybe what is ahead of you in this season is not so much about what you will see or do, but about God wanting to see you, His daughter, flourishing.
“The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17 NIV
Consider how much He desires for you to embrace the innate delight that comes from being His. You are the daughter God intentionally and uniquely formed, and He rejoices extravagantly over you.
In what ways has God positioned you to respond in exuberant extravagance too?
KathleenB says
Jenny,
You stirred memories of the joy I felt pausing my checking off my “to do” list to play with my sons many years ago. When you described how God, in the same way, delights in blessing us, His children, with joy, I could envision how this beautiful circle unfolds. We simply need to be aware and seek it through our daily choices.
Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom!
Jenny says
I’m so glad the memory was triggered for you! Sometimes it is hard to pause when we have so much to do (raising my hand here!) but so worth it, especially to remember that God enjoys doing that with us.
Madeline says
I realized I haven’t been as joyful and exuberant as I used to be. It’s been a rough several years but having recognized that, I have been trying to see the joy in my surroundings. And part of that is really making an effort to connect with God. I am trying very hard to surrender to God, let God be in charge. And I am trying to remember all those wonderful verses in the Bible to find reassurance. I appreciate what your wrote.
Jenny says
I’m sorry that you’ve had a few rough years. I pray that you experiences joy even in the simple moments but that mostly, as you abide in God, you find rest in His rejoicing over you!
Betsy Basile says
Dear Jenny….I wonderfully uplifting story today. “One of your sentences says it all for what I have been, ” I wonder how often we hinder our joy response because the place we reside in has not welcomed it.” I must say that God has told me I shouldn’t think that way. He said, “Be yourself” you are loved. I am starting to be my old self and it feels good.
Thank you, Jenny. Have a blessed day.
Betsy
Jenny says
It feels so good! I struggle with fear-of-man at times so I have to remind myself daily to not elevate the opinions of others over what God says. I’m thankful that God is teaching this to both of us!
Gail says
Amen! Thank you for sharing this. It is very encouraging.
Jenny says
You are so welcome!
Lisa Wilt says
Laughter is great medicine: both preventative and treatment!
Thank you for sharing!
Jenny says
It most definitely is! Thank you for joining in today!
Leann Stites says
What a blessing your message is to me today. I’ve been struggling with health problems, finances and feeling rather lost in it all. Yesterday I was the recipient of prayer with two beautiful women of faith. God spoke to me during that time and told me “I am, therefore you Are my child. I created you uniquely, specifically the way I want you to be. You are worthy!” Then to read those words again this morning reinforces His love for me. What a blessed gift! Thank you!
Jenny says
Yes! Anchoring myself in my identity in Christ has been so vital for me over the last several years. Praying that God continues remind you of how He sees you and how loved you are!
Naomi says
Thank you for this! I know this feeling a lot too and this makes me feel refreshed and proud of my times of exuberant joy
Jenny says
What a great way to put that! Yes, not only do we need to experience those moments but also be proud of them! Proud of our growth, of our trust and of choosing to rely on God.
Janet W says
Thank you Jenny. I needed to read your words…
“to release whatever I’m gripping” and mostly “about God wanting to see you, His daughter, flourishing.”
I am silly, dorky, chatty, immature and joyful….at least I used to be. Lately I’ve been quiet. Way to sensitive. Nodding my head without too many words. Allowing what sits in my husband’s lap and spills onto my lap to consume me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m here to support what he’s going through, but man it is hard!!! God is closer than ever, but I feel so far away .
I’m soooo grateful for all my sisters in Christ! Whether I know you personally and sit next to you in church or at a women’s study, or I open (in)courage and read, I am uplifted and encourage and reminded…
“You are the daughter God intentionally and uniquely formed, and He rejoices extravagantly over you.”
And I get to pass it on! Thank you \0/
Jenny says
Your response gave me chills because we know these feelings so well. I’m grateful that despite distance, we get be encouraged by other sisters. All a part of God taking care of His daughters right when we need it. Blessings to you and I pray that you encounter moments where you are safe to be the fullness of who you are.
Margaret P. says
Absolutely loved this article on panic attacks! I especially loved how Jesus “rolls up His sleeves” to walk with us through everything, even going with us to the (baggage claim) next place after our attack. He’s helping us to the next right thing He has planned in advance for us to do.
I’ve struggled with panic attacks through many years, beating jyself up for having them. Nearing 70 I’ve come very slowly to realize that it’s the way I am, and God knows, sees me , holds my hand and loves me.
Jenny says
Thank you for reading! I pray that you continue to experience moments of joy and also that you feel God so close to you when those moments of panic come.
Lori from PA/LLR says
When I think of JOY: (J)esus, (O)thers, (Y)ou. I try to put Jesus first, Others 2nd, Yourself 3rd. I find when we focus on Jesus and others, I tend to forget the daily troubles and struggles we face daily, it helps me to not focus on oneself. Eternity with Christ…that’s our ultimate reason for “joy”. Of course, taking good care of oneselves helps to be at our best. Thank you for reminding us that we are all treasures made by God! “Lots of Laughter and a Whole Lot of Jesus”, sure helps give us J.O.Y.!!! God Bless!!!
Jenny says
That is a great way to keep our focus on Jesus as we cultivate joy. Thank you for sharing that with us Lori!
Dawn Camp says
Jenny, you’ve got me pondering: “I wonder how often we hinder our joy response because the place we reside has not welcomed it.” So thankful you’re a part of (in) now. Can’t wait to read your new book!
Jenny says
So thankful for you and all the ladies of (in)courage! Looking forward to more laughter and community with you all.
Beth Williams says
Jenny,
Joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness. Life has been hard these past three years-working in hospitals with Covid. There have been a few joyous moments mixed in, but not many. When I feel the need for laughter I usually start a pillow fight with my husband. We end up laughing & having a good time.
I don’t hide my joy because the place I’m at doesn’t welcome it. Heck you may find me dancing down the aisles of a grocery store, cheering on patients when they try to get out & walk some, or raising my hands in praise to God during church. Might get a glimpse of me dancing around my house. I’m here to have fun & enjoy this life as much as possible.
Blessings 🙂
Jenny Erlingsson says
Amen to this Beth! Imagining you doing all these things brought a smile to my face. Thank you for the joy you stir up around, especially in the hospital. I know it means alot to so many.