A few days before Labor Day we got new neighbors — eight young adults to be exact. Four young men and four young women in their twenties moved in next door.
My husband and I launched a new ministry called “The Hope House,” in which we invited this specific group of people to live 43 steps away from us. We call it our great experiment. We set out to guide others in the discipline and art of Christian community. The guys occupy the downstairs quarters of the house, while the girls have a separate living space upstairs. Between the Hope House family and my family, there are fifteen people, three kitchens, two cats, and one laundry room (in our garage wedged between the bikes and the litter box to be precise).
Over the first couple of weeks of our Hope House neighbors settling in, I noticed that one of the young adults, Skyler, would wander in and out of our house. He typically landed at our kitchen counter with a hypothetical situation or a hilarious story about his day. Over tea and washing dishes, we would chat about faith, family, loss, love, and the life of Christ. Dinner was always on the stove. My phone was always dinging with demands. But, through interruptions, distractions, and sometimes retelling hard stories, our chats would linger.
One particular evening, while Skyler recounted a painful experience from his past, his face became flushed and his eyes filled with tears. He lifted his round Harry Potter glasses and with the back of his hand, he began to intercept the unwelcome leaking. While apologizing, he swiped the visible outpouring of his heart onto the sleeve of his sweatshirt and tried to hide his shame. But, sometimes the pain we’ve tucked away and tried to tame brazenly disobeys. Like a dog in training, we demand our sadness go back into submission. But that night, for a brief moment, his feelings defied a lifetime of discipline and dismissal, and refused to comply. Tears down his face. Tears shed into a soaked sleeve. Years of untold stories in the shape of liquid diamonds were finally allowed to breathe while his soul could beautifully be seen.
Sometimes, we don’t have enough strength to get to the table where God meets us (Psalm 23). In those moments, God brings the table right to us. I think that night was one of those nights for Skyler.
God pulled up a table for all of that pent-up pain to be met with the patient love of Christ.
First Corinthians 13:4 says, “Love is patient…”. I can easily overlook what patience really means. When I think about being patient, I think about not rushing my kids to put their shoes on or not getting bothered by long lines. But, I think it means more than that. I am learning that love, at its core, is patient. Love is slow. For love to foster, transform, and change us, we need unhurried grace to guide us. Sometimes this grace comes in the form of sickness, interruptions, and unexpected problems. Grace whispers, “Slow down. Wait. There is no need to hurry.”
“You need to be patient with your pain,” my own spiritual director recently said. Patient? I nearly laughed. That is the last thing I want. I want my pain gone, fixed, compacted, processed and put out on the curb Wednesday morning with all the other trash cans. Yet, here was my spiritual director pulling up Christ’s table for me when I was choking on my grief.
When we think about the table, oftentimes we think of a feast. There is bread, savory foods, lit candles, joy-filled toasts, with wine spilling over. I believe this is true of Christ’s table. At the table, there is abundance and laughter and warmth. But, more and more, I am discovering that spotlights, scalpels, gauze, bandaids, water, and anesthesia are there too. Our souls undergo surgery on the operating table of God’s grace and mercy. Surgery is remarkably precise, and, yes — slow. And that’s the way we want it. Don’t rush heart surgery.
Our hearts are slow to change. Yet, we want everything instant. We want instant growth, instant healing, instant fixes, instant caffeine to revive us midday. We want things done fast and efficiently. But, at the table, God offers us love — the patient kind of love. The kind that cares less about accomplishing something and more about becoming something.
God is patient with us. He is slow with us. He is unhurried with us. He isn’t bothered by how long it takes us to get our act together or just get.it.right. Perhaps allowing people to change slowly is one of the greatest ways we can love each other. And for ourselves, perhaps letting the love of God do slow surgery in our hearts is one of the greatest gifts we can ever receive. We are not just becoming patient, we are the patient.
We are beloved children of God. God leads us well even when it seems like He is backtracking, distracted, or spending far too long gazing at the golden skyline as the darkness is closing in like monstrous shadows.
God knows the way. He knows your heart needs the grace gift of slowness. God is a patient, loving, caretaker who wanders and meanders through the backroads of your story to heal your hidden heart and savor every single tear. Time is not His concern. His sole purpose and joy is to be with you, just as you are, and offer you the loving hope of His presence.
Be patient with the process because there is nowhere else you need to be right now — but here.
P.S. After nearly five years of serving this beautiful community, this will be my last time writing for (in)courage. I step away from the gift of this place in order to step more fully into all that God is inviting me into in this new season, which includes The Hope House. I love you and am so grateful to have shared my stories with you. Love always, Anjuli
Sharon says
God Bless you as you & your family travel this new path He has shown you. Will miss you!
Marie says
May God bless you in the journey He has you on. Your words will be missed!
Cathy says
You’ve been a blessing. Even today’s words are from Him 🙂 I needed to hear them! God has a bounty ahead for you – your heart is “the” Hope House…
Susan L says
Thank you for sharing your gift with us, Anjuli! I pray that God will use the Hope House to bless your family and the Hope House families.
Sue says
Your thoughts here will be sorely missed!
Jill says
Thank you for sharing your heart with us this past five years. I will miss your writings. All the best to you in this next chapter. God bless.
Kathryn Vandorp says
Oh Anjuli: This “your last” (en)courage story was so very beautiful and reallllllly what I needed to hear today for those I interact with. May God bless those you are blessing and I am sure you will be blessed so much, in return. May you thrive in what He has called you to do for those He needs to bring love to. Kathryn
Linda Sprunt says
Thank you, Anjuli. Through these last years you have shared relatable stories of encouragement. This was a wonderful one to finish your tenure at (in)courage.
Blessings on your new endeavors with Hope House. Many will be blessed through your ministry!
Ruth Mills says
Go with God, sister! Thank you for the time you invested with us. We know you will continue to be a blessing in your new endeavors!
mandythompson says
Thank you for these final words
KathleenB says
Thank you for leaving us with such a tender, heartfelt writing. May you continue to bless others in your new endeavors, as you have blessed all of us with your inspiring words.
Kathleen
Angela says
One thing I’m focusing on in 2024 is grace. Giving it to myself and others. When you spoke of “unhurried” grace, it touched me deeply. Thank you.
Irene says
Anjuli, your writing will be sorely missed!
Janet W says
Thank you Anjuli. God Bless you. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words of faith, memories and strength. Thank you for reminding us God is right beside us \0/
You will be missed. Blessings as you share all your gifts
Lisa Wilt says
Thank YOU for sharing and letting Jesus shine through you over the years with (in)courage. I would love to be able to minister through my writing in the way that you have through Dayspring touching women for the Kingdom!
Susan says
Simply a humble thank you for bringing God’s message of love to us through your writing. God bless you, your family and Hope House.
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Thank you Anjuli for sharing with us so true what you wrote. God is always patience with us. We as followers of his may think he slack in answering our prayers. But God is never slack in answering them in his way which is right for us. We might have to wait. It might not be right away in the way we want. We have to remember God could be testing us to see how strong our faith is in him. To truly see if we trust him to see will him answer our prayers and do we have the true faith in him to do what his word says and keep our eyes focused on him and nothing else. Not give up hope no matter what. Even though it says in 2 Peter 3 v 9 “The Lord is not slack concerning His promises, as some count slackness, but is long-suffering towards us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” that verse is very true what it says. We may feel God is slack concerning His promises to us and long-suffering towards us but God is never towards us that are saved. He wants us to trust him that he hears our prayers will answer them in his perfect timing not ours. His will and we will not perish but come to repentance saved or not saved especially if done something wrong. Even As a follower of Jesus. We can at times mess up even as a follower of Jesus. But through it all we have to know God love is long-suffering towards us. He doesn’t want us perish but come that we repent and be put right with him. That Our Spiritual Soul is made right we can then put the wrong away and live right as God wants us say sorry to God and repent. As a true loving followers of his. That other will see his Love in us. If not saved want what we have that is Jesus as their Saviour too. I say Amen to. Thank you for what you wrote. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx
Becky Keife says
Anjuli, your friendship and words have been a balm to my soul and a light to my path too many times to count. Thank you for all you’ve invested into (in)courage. I will miss you fierce, but I’m so expectant for all the good to come in and through you as you show up exactly where God has you.
Kathleen mokrzan says
Thank you Anjuli and best wishes for the Hope House ❤️
Cheryl Rumpf says
What a blessing you’ve been to so many women and to me! Today spoke right into my heart as I am going through some hurt in my marriage right now I wanting it to heal quickly instead of slowly in meeting at the table with Jesus. Allow him to do the heart surgery He needs to do. God’s blessing rest upon you as this new door of opportunity He has given you!
Dawn Wood says
Well done sweet friend!!! Well done! So glad to hear you are following where God is leading you. Thank you for the words of encouragement you have poured out. Hugs to you!
Ppony says
Thank you for all you have shared on this platform. Praying that God will bless the works of your hands and go forth and shine for Him! Take care and we are going to miss you
Trish Seifert says
This could have been written for me. God has been carefully, lovingly, slowly, deliberately healing my mental health challenges. It has felt excruciatingly slow at times, almost the whole time, really. Oh, but it has been sweet and poignant and full of grace. His table is laden with good, too much to rush through.❤️
Sadie says
May His abundant love and peace and provisions be with you and yours in the next chapter He has for your journey. I needed this today as I’m rushing to my next chapter in our lives and it sometimes is exhausting indeed.. I really need to do it slowly and be intentional enjoying the process! Love and will miss you too❤️
Ellen McCormack says
Anjuli, thank you for your inspired words of wisdom. May God continue to guide you as you are His hands and feet here on earth.
Beth Williams says
Anjuli,
We will miss you here. God has bigger & better plans for you & your ministry.
Loved the analogy of God doing heart surgery. So thankful God is patient with us in our pain. We can come crying to Jesus with our pain & trials. He will listen & gently our out His love, grace & mercy.
Asking God to give you lots of patience & strength as you work with Hope House.
Blessings 🙂