About the Author

Kathi lives with Roger and a bunch of chickens in the Sierra Nevada Mountains of California. There they host writer retreats, and Kathi writes about how to do life with God a little closer today than yesterday. She’s a best-selling author and absolutely loves her Clutter Free Community on Facebook.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
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(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Amen! There is no expiration date on grief. Unfortunately no one understands it until they have been there. I can hardly believe my husband will have been gone 12 years in February and I still think of him every single day. Grief still sneaks up on me sometimes. I realize I will miss him until the day I go home. Thank you for sharing openly. I think one of my greatest gifts is friends who never met him that patiently listen to me talk about

  2. Such wise words! I once found a card for the 2nd anniversary of a death. I should have bought them out & ordered more! For some the 2nd year is often harder than the first merely because so much of the presence of others has dwindled. I have anniversaries of friends’ loved ones death on my calendar so I can acknowledge them with a card, call or text. Those contacts mean more than the birthday & anniversary calls by far. I’m going to add NNTR to my texts. What a great gift to the already burdened! Thanks for sharing Kathi! Blessings (((0)))

    • I can attest that the second year is worse than the first after having lost our son at age 19, and we were and still are, 18 years after his passing, amazed at how friends of ours (and JOEY’S) reach out to us on his birthday, mother’s day and special holidays. SUCH A GREAT POINT!!

  3. Wise words for sure. So much I want to say to respond to this but I cannot seem to find the right words other than thank you for sharing this.

  4. Kathi thank you for what you wrote to with grief. What you said is so true. I always tell people when they loose someome especially if they are saved and the family are saved. Yes you will miss them this side of earth. No matter how they died. Should it be suddenly or by an illness or injury or old age. No matter what it is they are not here any more. The things you as Family did together the things they said the laughs you had together. The times you celebrated together like if they were your Husband Mum Dad or Family member close to you. The day you met the day you Married them. Your anniversary their Birthdays Family Holiday days Family get togethers. Are gone to not be celebrating anymore together this side of earth. But God showed me this one day. You not lost all. You have all those memories in your heart of the times you spent with them together and photos to look at of all those things you did together. Plus to keep talking about them and remembering them on theses special days. Yes you not see them in on earth anymore. But you not lost all. You something to look forward to if they are saved like you are. You see them one day again in Glory with Jesus. When your time up on earth. As they are there they will be waiting for you. When you get there you be together this time for ever never to be apart and with Jesus for ever. So that has to make you smile above your saddness of loosing them this side of earth. So you can smile again and think of that. That what I do when I know someone I care about that is no longer here on earth. That is saved that I not see on earth. Plus I thank God I will see them in Glory when my time up on earth with Jesus. I have that to look forward to. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little. Xx keeping you in incourage in prayer ♥️

  5. Very timely devotional as I’ll be going to the funeral this morning for the mother of a friend of mine. Expected and yet I’m sure bittersweet for the family.
    I definitely relate to there’s no expiration date on grief – my sweet mother had her Homegoing in 2006; my brother’s tragic death in 2013; and then my sister’s Homegoing in 2021. Still miss ’em!

  6. Thank you, Kathi, for sharing about grief, and all of us that will go through it sometime on our life. My Dad has been gone 20 years now, and I miss him every day. Grief has no expiry date. I am thankful that he loved the Lord and is with him. Time does not heal your wounds, it’s what you do with that time. I pray for all those who are mourning. May God comfort you and give you the peace and rest only He can provide.

  7. Thank you Kathi for sharing. During the months of July and August our church family suffered so much loss. Mothers, fathers, sisters, grandparents and spouses. It was so sad. Even harder, just as you shared, was wondering “what can I do”? We had recently moved to another town, so “popping by” wasn’t really an option, but text and cards were. I think just letting them know we were praying for them and sending love and hugs was just perfect!
    As we begin to see our grieving church family again, we get to hug, ask how are you? Do you need anything? Most of all remind them that they are in our prayers \0/

  8. The birthdays as well as the days my daughter and my husband died are still very hard day’s for me. Please be understanding friend during that time.

  9. Grief is so much more than just over a death. I throughly appreciated your thoughts. A wonderful article.

  10. The days after losing our son, Joey at age 19 , seem to be a blur…..being in a state of shock has that effect on the memory. But, there are certain acts of kindness that remain vivid in my memory which comforts me even 18 years later. Kathi, your piece today was spot on! I will relay 2 images among the many that stand out and may help others when they are struggling to be of comfort and who may not know not what to do.

    The morning after Joey passed one of his dear friends came over and just sat on the couch….she barely said anything, ( no words needed ) she was simply holding his space for us; anyone who was special to our son was and is VERY special to US. Those he so loved are a piece of JOEY, which still remains on earth and we cherish them as did he.

    The second memory is of a friend from church, a nurse, who came into the house one late morning as I just sat in a state of shock at the kitchen table. She simply kissed my cheek and asked if I had eaten anything. I replied, “I don’t know”. She returned 5 minutes later with a steaming plate of scrambled eggs and a piece of toast…this was accompanied by a glass of water….”you need to drink this, Mary, you have been crying and need to hydrate, ok?” I had never even considered that simple necessity and was so grateful for the loving reminder and practical way someone could love me and “DO SOMETHING” for me in such a state of grief. A simple glass of water. YES.

  11. Kathi,

    One idea that hit me is just sitting with the grieving person. No words are necessary. Be like Job’s friends who sat with him after many losses. My church will always provide a meal for the family after the funeral. That way the family can sit & talk plus have some food for leftovers. Another good thought is to show up for the viewing. Maybe you don’t know the person well or at all. You can show kindness to the family by going to funeral home, signing your name & giving family condolences. When our pastor died he requested no flowers but donations to a ministry. I made sure to give that ministry some money in his name. A way to honor his love & passion for the ministry. Basically just shower the family with God’s love.

    Blessings 🙂