About the Author

Barb Roose is a speaker and author who is passionate about teaching women to live beautifully strong and courageous so that they experience God’s great adventure of faith and purpose for their lives. She’s the proud empty-nest mom of three and whenever possible, Barb prefers to eat dessert first.

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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Barb, this is so true! When I see the dust you could plant crops in on the living room side table I can only pray God is pleased with my choices to spend time with people over my dust rag. On the other hand He has given us our home & possessions to be responsible with. His nudges will always push me to the balance & I must choose His prompts over my own wants. Blessings! (((0)))

    • Ruth, that’s a great visual. I’m glad that you’ve let that dust be and enjoyed time with those you love. Continued blessings to you!

  2. I love this our time is not promised so put away the things to do so you can be with the ones you love!

    • Madeline Thank you for sharing your a-ah moment because other women needed to see your comment and know that they weren’t alone.

  3. I love how the Lord used you, and your eyes were open to experience his teaching moment. That moment allowed you to enjoy an afternoon with your family. Without that lesson, you wouldn’t be able to share with us – I think there are many of us who love a good list who need to read this, probably more than once. Thank you for sharing this.

    • Thank you for that encouragement, Jill. God is good – and I love how He uses us to help each other. So glad that you stopped by (in)courage today.

  4. Target successful…my heart. First it was the to do list but then it was the phone scrolling all to say BE PRESENT when and with who you can – you will never regret it while you will the other two. Habits are so pursuing. Lord help me find the off ramps. Thank you!

  5. Barb, this is delightful! I am happy to say that at least this time, during my stepdaughter’s visit from Texas, I made better choices to be present and not overly concerned with housekeeping or even my exercise class, which would have taken me away and missed some of the far too little time I have with my family.
    Love the turtle story. It made me laugh.

  6. Years ago I flew 1200 miles with my 1 year old to visit my in-laws. I was sad that they weren’t at the airport to greet us as we got off the plane. Five minutes later they arrived explaining they ran late picking my mil up from work. But she was done-she had taken the ENTIRE week off of work to be with me and her grandson. That made a huge impression on me. Choose people over your own plans. I’m a grandma now and remember this act from years ago. It truly set a course for me to follow.

    Thank you Barb for sharing and encouraging all of us to be as present as we possibly can with those we love. And maybe with those we struggle to love as well.

    • Hi Molly, what a precious gift that your in-laws gave you all of those years ago! I love how you said “choose people over plans” – great nugget there. Thanks for joining us here on (in)courage today!

  7. Barb, thank you for this timely reminder! Balance is something I have been struggling with. I can be more like Mary & not enough like Martha sometimes. Praising Adonai for you & your testimony.

  8. Truth!
    Thank you for bringing this to light as I believe many of us fall victim to the to-do list.

  9. Barbara love this reading. Time is precious. Time with love ones or special friends especially if you don’t see them that often is precious. Things that can wait until another time or day let them wait. As you may or never never get that time with them again. Now is the time to make the memories with them. Not be so busy making your home tidy for them or getting all your chores or jobs done. As they are you may never see either again. As you or they can be here today or gone tomorrow. Like an Uncle of mine went to bed for a lie down because had sore head never woke up again. That make me and his wife and Family see life is precious. So when you have time to spend with your Family and Friend do. All the things you have to do that are not important they can wait. You can do them another day. Do be like Martha having to have everything perfect giving of why no one is helping you. Stop and let be. If don’t get done. Let get done another day. Enjoy the time you have with your Family or Friends. Making good times and memories with them. I say Amen to that. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little keeping you all in incourage in my prayers xx

    • Meant to say don’t be Martha why are you worry about having everything done and perfect. Sorry for the mistake. Please forgive me. Love Dawn

  10. Oooooh. My to do list is nonexistent, lol. Because I feel like SUCH a failure when I make lists! I never get the things done I think I am going to, and wind up doing other things. My “thoughts” when I first retired have alllll taken a back burner to watching my baby granddaughter Monday through Thursday while my daughter and son in law are working. At their house. Because they work from home and want to still participate too. So in the process, my projects I thought I would have time to do in my own home have gone out the window. But I can NEVER get these moments back; I learned that the hard way in working full time the entire time our daughters were growing up. Not missing things again if I can help it.

  11. Some days I’m better tuned in and other days I’m guilty as charged. Thank you for sharing this story from your life, Barb. The part I love best is that you had the gumption to call your kids and have them come back to get you. I bet they were thrilled to do it too and make those memories together. Thank you for this important reminder!!

  12. We got caught up in our written and mental to do list. We need to recognize when we need to slow down or put off something. We need to be still. I’m a lost maker and a lane by nature. The last few years since a friend of mine died – I have not been as intentional about doing it even though it makes my life easier. God knows our plans and he directs our paths. The incourage planner looks amazing.

  13. God didn’t nudge me. He pushed me hard and said “be still.” I have still not adjusted to “being still,” but I have been present in so many more of those moments than I would have been, and I have had so many valuable conversations with my teens that would not have had a chance to happen. Most importantly, my habits of prayer and devotion are greatly improved, and my life is so much better for the richness added to it from my greater awareness of His Word and how very applicable it is to the struggles of today. And, despite my discomfort, I have full faith that the path He has put me own is His path for me, and I understand now that His plans are not necessarily my plans. Great message, thank you.

  14. Barb,

    After a long week at work I usually want a day or two just by myself. The time is used to cook meals, do laundry & just relax. Even though I get tired & there is much to do I still made time for friends yesterday (07/14). It was the birthday for two of them. A bunch of women got together & just had a good time talking & enjoying each other. Then later that day I went to Loaves & Fishes Food Bank to help out with preparing meals & food boxes. I got to see people I hadn’t seen in a while & meet new volunteers. This coming Sunday the women of Biltmore Baptist will be getting together to enjoy a meal. Another chance to meet new people & enjoy friendships. Sure I’ll be tired but friendships are worth the effort. Being present in people’s lives is so important. You never know when God will call them home.

    Blessings 🙂

  15. I needed that reminder. I tend to be a Martha most of the time and am trying very hard at changing my priorities with God’s help, of course. Sitting even with family has not been acceptable. I’m doing better with age.

  16. Thank you for this! I just went through a stressful couple of weeks and now have some health issues that are making me slow way down. It’s not how I operate, I tend to be a Mary. I believe God is walking me through this time to teach me what’s important and give me more time to spend in his word.

  17. Thank you Barb for sharing your heart. I can relate to being a Martha so much in my lifetime. Regrets for the occassions I’ve missed out on with my grown children aren’t able to be retrieved, although God has strengthened me with making the “better choice” so much much more than I used to. I still find myself struggling with my “to do” lists, and slowing down for what is more important. I love it when I plainly hear God’s voice re-directing me to stop and spend quiet time with him or an elderly parent for example.