About the Author

A three-time tongue cancer survivor and mama of children from β€œhard places," Michele Cushatt is a (reluctant) expert on pain, trauma and the deep human need for connection. Her most recent book, "Relentless: The Unshakeable Presence of a God Who Never Leaves", wrestles with the dogged presence and affection of...

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(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. man can i relate to learning how to do this! additional tips to consider – for #1 – my go to is super short – “Lord, guide my words”. sometimes i repeat it in my head while the person is talking (while also listening!) “guide my words. guide my words. guide my words”. and #2 – i do journal daily, however, sometimes i need to (opinionatedly) say what i need to say out loud. i will have my imaginary “venting” conversation and get it out there, but respond differently after my quick prayer above (obviously this is more for email/text conversations or ). these conversations will happen in my room, in the shower, even in the car (these days people just think you’re talking on the phone. ha!).

    have an awesome day!

    • Arian, having a ready prayer or mantra like “Lord, guide my words” is super helpful! Sometimes that’s all I need to keep from blurting out the first thing that comes to mind (which usually isn’t helpful haha!). Thank you for sharing what has worked for you. It helps all of us!

  2. Thank you for this! Overspeaking… that has been my default choice for too many years. I have been learning not to do that the last 3 years. For some reason, having dad and mom living with us for the last 3 years and caring for them… well, God used that to bring some changes in me. That default to pop off with words is still in my original model, but I have trained myself (mostly) to not respond with any unasked for advice or response, other than “I am so sorry about….” That seems to be enough to encourage them to keep sharing or they seem relieved and listened to. And I don’t have to apologize for saying something stupid, or regret it later on. There are certain people that push my buttons that I have to plan in advance: “Remember, don’t give any comments about anything they say, no matter how stupid or thoughtless or clueless it is.” Wow, that doesn’t sound very spiritual, but it works for me.
    PS. I have finished your Relentless book and gosh, it is super! Thank you. Stephanie

    • There is much wisdom in what you shared here, Stephanie. I love how you said “I have trained myself …” Learning to speak with grace and patience isn’t something that comes automatically–it needs to be trained in us. It takes practice, intention, and even reminding yourself not to react or respond! It takes time and practice, but it works. Thank you for encouraging the rest of us with your experience!

      (And I’m so glad you enjoyed Relentless. Much love, sister.)

  3. The art of communication is indeed that- an art. Thanks for your helpful points to improve. Thanks for the tone of the article- you are a fellow traveler with us all. Communication is so much more than verbal also, tone of voice, gestures, eye contact, mannerisms, etc all play their part.

    What would you say to expanding on this post? You see the need right- with the number of shares already done!!

  4. Michele,

    I often have to bite my tongue to keep from saying what I think or feel. That doesn’t always happen. When I say the wrong things or use the wrong tone I always apologize. I care to much about the relationships to let words get between us. Plus I have empathy for them. Loved the list of practices.

    Blessings πŸ™‚