Bethany Macklin
About the Author

Bethany is a wife, mom, and leader who loves writing and speaking. As the author of God’s Heart, My Harbor — a deep dive into God’s attributes — she’s a cannonball-into-the-pool type of girl. She's passionate about painting portraits of God with words that breathe hope into hurting hearts.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
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(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
DaySpring.com
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  1. So thankful for these words, Bethany. I find myself in a season of having to let God show up for family where I can’t, too. So hard…but such a holy journey.

    So glad to share your words at (in)courage…

    • Thank you, Rachel. It is a holy journey that required me to step aside so God could do the heavy lifting. So immeasurably grateful for His faithfulness!

  2. Bethany it hard you think am I doing enough in those day for my loved one. Like you with your Mum. God gives you the strength to do it especially in the last day of their lives. You think when their gone did I do enjoy for them when alive. I felt that for my own Mum. As I went round to see her once a week and if she wanted me at weekends. Then when she was in Hospital I knew something told me. I knew it was God because her body was braking down. She not see out of the Hospital. I felt was I doing enough. When it came to near the end. I couldn’t stay. I felt bad and blamed myself for that. God said Dawn don’t toucher yourself. You remember you were a good Daughter to your Mum. You just could bare for to let her go. That why you couldn’t stay to the very end and see her close her eyes never open them again. God said I am with you. Remember all the good time you had together and remember you have me with you every day. I will never leave you not forsake you. That has kept me strong. Helped me not feel guilty. I was not there until the ever end. God said to me Dawn I was there with her in your place at the end when you couldn’t do it. Thank you again for this reading it makes what God said to so true and help me know I nothing to feel guilty for. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx

    • Oh, Dawn, I can hear your pain — but I can also hear your peace. Thanks for being vulnerable, brave, and willing to share it! It’s so reassuring to know that we are not alone in our struggle. Praise God! There’s a LOT to process as we walk through the last days of a loved one’s life on earth and the aftermath of grief. I can tell you loved your sweet mom so much and I’m confident she knew that. Like you, I rejoice that our faithful, tender God’s powerful presence carries our loved ones when we can’t. Thanks so much for sharing your story!

  3. So true! The precious lessons learned in the ‘I can’t’ seasons & spots of life. He can & does & is in all of them! Dementia is cruel taking loved ones away more than once. Thankful for your beautiful memory of your mom’s laughter! Blessings! (((0)))

    • Thanks, Ruth! I love how you expressed it, “…the ‘I can’t’ seasons and spots of life.” Each one is an opportunity to see God’s big heart and sovereign strength. Now if I could just remember that when I’m in those painful, vulnerable places… I’m grateful for His patience and grace as I toddle my way through life. I agree, dementia is an awful, no-good, terrible disease with a dozen “deaths” before the end, so those sweet memories go a very long way.

  4. Thank you, Bethany, for this article. My mom also had dementia and was in a home – and I still cry when I think of her – 7 years after her passing. This is helpful and will minister to other people in this place as well. You have a beautiful way of getting to the heart of the issue and pointing us back to God.

    • Thank you, Lisa. I’m so sorry about your mom. I’m still surprised by the sudden, raw pain when I think of my mom, too. I’m grateful that the story God gave me to share was helpful. It’s part of the beautiful strength of community. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.” II Corinthians 1:3-5 (NIV)

  5. This is so beautiful, Bethany. Thank you for these precious truths (I lost my mom just 3 months ago). Your words are a sweet reminder of God’s love and faithfulness.

    • I’m so sorry about your loss, Shadia! Losing a mom leaves a wound only God can stitch together. Many times throughout the pre-grief and post-grief process I leaned on Psalm 147:3-4: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; He calls them each by name.” Our faithful Immanuel is so intensely personal in His care for both us and our loved ones when we are helpless and heartsore. What peace and praise this brings!

      • Bethany, your words were so uplifting. My mother had onset dementia, yet knew each of us by name. I had the privilege of having her live next to me, could help take care of her, and was with her when she took her last breath. I still miss her very much and have questions I wish I had remembered to ask. It must be extremely hard to lose one who lives far away and not be able to be with them in their last days. Losing her was very hard, but one which I could bear with the help of God. Yes, “He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds.” I’m thankful to hear that your mother had those dear to her in her last moments of life to give her loving care. I’m sure that she knew that you were there in spirit, would have been there if possible, and loved her very much.

  6. Thank you! Today I needed to be reminded that God is there when I’m thousands of miles away from my dear 93-year-old sister and feeling helpless.

    • Oh, Gail, I know how hard those miles of separation are on our hearts! That makes me profoundly grateful that God isn’t limited by space or time. He is fully here AND there. What a joy to know that our long-distance prayers reach into the very hearts of our loved ones and that God uses our prayers to bring the strength and comfort they need right now. Thanks for sharing so honestly.

  7. Bethany, your words were so uplifting. My mother had onset dementia, yet knew each of us by name. I had the privilege of having her live next to me, could help take care of her, and was with her when she took her last breath. I still miss her very much and have questions I wish I had remembered to ask. Losing a parent is very hard, but one which we can bear with the help of God.

    • What a sweet gift to have your mom so close and to be used by God to provide for her in that way. He is so faithful! My mom recognized her daughters as well, so that was a gift from God in the midst of the grief. We each have our own story and as we share with each other it reveals different aspects of God’s character in the way He works. That fills us with such hope! Thanks so much for sharing!

  8. This is such a sweet and endearing story of truly trusting God with those most dear to us.
    It’s comforting to know the peace we can have knowing God is in control- even though it doesn’t look like what we would want! Sometimes we just need a ‘faith-lift’ to trust him more.

    • God’s control is an enormous source of peace — amen and Amen. And He demonstrates it in such personal, tender ways to reveal His heart of compassion. What a reassurance that He understands our fears and struggles and invites us to honestly process them with Him. Thanks for sharing!

    • Thanks so much for the kind words. Yes she was beautiful and she and my dad are missed very much indeed! So grateful they’re both with our Savior, free from all struggle and pain. What peace that brings!

  9. Bethany,

    I have been there & brought the t-shirt on dementia from just laying in bed seeing & hearing things not there all the way to gero psych. Mom got it first. It was tough watching her & seeing dad try to help her. We finally got hospice on board to help out. I learned quickly that routine was best. Every Monday after work I would go see her. She knew it was me. When she passed two years later I was a bit relieved. She was no longer suffering. Then dad started having issues. One day he said I want to move into assisted living. We found a nice one & I visited once a week. His dementia was getting worse & we put him on hospice. Unfortunately, they took him off ALL his meds & caused his thyroid to level to get super high. We ended up putting him in a gero psych unit. They figured out the problem & gave him a new med. One month later dad was better than before. That lasted 1 year. Then I believe he had a stroke. We put him back in the same gero psych hospita & he died there 11 days later.

    Watching family go through dementia is hard. Not being able to be there & help out can be even harder. Prayers for you & your family.

    Blessings 🙂

    • What a hard story, Beth. Seeing our parents struggle and suffer is so painful! I’m immensely grateful for Jesus, the “Man of Sorrows” who knows suffering well and for our faithful Father who watched His Son suffer in unimaginable ways. Because He knows pain so intimately He can meet us in ours. Praying for heart-healing and renewed joy as you step into a new season.

  10. God shows up when we can’t. He frees us from guilt, shame, and torment and the lie that we can “save” anyone. He picks up the burden, bears the weight, and brings us rest and peace . . . right smack in the middle of suffering.

    I am sitting here crying over this. What a relief! Thank you so much for ministering to my heart. Other parents of adult children may understand trying to no interfere but worrying so much about them. I felt like this whole article was a reminder to leave them to the Lord and He will guide their paths.

    Thank you and waving my wet tissue at you. Bless you!!!!

    • As a mom of young adult kids, I feel your pain! The choice to process our fears in God’s presence, to rise with trust in our hearts, and then let go and allow God to direct their future, takes faith and reliance on God’s Spirit and promises. It’s the “letting go” part that has the pokiest edges for me… Praise Jesus, His help and sustaining power is only a prayer away! Thanks for your honest sharing. Damp tissue waved right back at ya, friend!

  11. This will be my first Mother’s Day without my mom. She died November 4th. Even now, weeks away, it makes me cry to think about. I wish our relationship was as wonderful as yours was Bethany. It could have been so much more. But I continue to be grateful for what we did have and choose to be a better mom to my own girls.

    • Sally, I’m so sorry about your mom. No matter what our relationship with our moms looked like moms occupy a unique place in our heart and life. Growing up, my relationship with my mom was very rocky, so I’m especially grateful that it was positive as an adult. I love that you’re funneling your energy into cultivating a strong relationship with your kids. I’ll be praying for you this Mother’s Day.

  12. That was beautiful.I miss Her So Much…..Your DadYour Mom added so Much fun and laughter to My World and Others….Love Them Both Dearly!!! I Will See Them Again Soon

  13. Oh Bethany – thank you for sharing your heart story about you and your Mom. I so relate having lived a distance from my Mom as well. And what a God we have who shows up at exact times we desperately need to see Him – and not just in ancient times by a river for exiles, also for us today. Your words spoke God’s hope to my heart today. Thank you. Peg

    • I’m so glad the Lord encouraged you. I’m grateful our great, transcendent God knows your heart need and mine, and moves to meet it so faithfully. Losing a mom is tough, no matter the age or circumstances.

  14. What a sweet passage in Ez. showing the loving, compassionate hand of our Lord. Thanks for sharing your insights along with the memories of your mom… and how you remember her now. Only the Lord could do that for you. Because of His grace, Barb

    • Thanks, Barb! Yes, “Only the Lord could do that for you” is precisely where I was going with this story. I knew all the truths about God’s faithful care and had experienced many of them–I believed them to be true. But it wasnt until He personally met me with such an “eye-contact” reassuring promise that I could finally find deep rest after all that had happened to her.

  15. I needed to read this! A difficult situation with a family member has been troubling me, and I thought I needed to fix it in someway. I’ve prayed and asked God’s help and guidance repeatedly! I finally realized it IS in His hands! I can’t fix it, and I don’t need to. I know I can trust God’s love in every issue we face.

    • The peace God provides when we choose–again and again–to give our anxiety and worry and fear to HIm about our lives and situations always makes me wonder why I struggled so long. But God is a gentle, loving, and compassionate Father who never loses patience with us as we flail around. I’m so grateful! Thanks for sharing.