About the Author

Rachel Marie Kang is the author of Let There Be Art and The Matter of Little Losses. A writer of poems, prose, and other pieces, she is founder of The Fallow House and the Social Media & Guest Post Manager for (in)courage. Connect with her at rachelmariekang.com.

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Reader Interactions


  1. I needed this today! I have trusted the wrong person and it has cost me financially. I am hoping that in the next few days I can make the situation correct and still be able to look at myself in the mirror and not suffer so much anxiety that I cannot function in life the way that I need to. The only positive for me right now is that this is forcing me to realize I need to end a “friendship” I should have let go of months ago because that person has more problems than I can help them with and they were obviously never trustworthy or even a real friend to me. I will have to go through a grieving process with ending the friendship but I have to believe God and the Holy Spirit will get me through.

    • Carol, I hear every single word of this. Feeling this deep in my heart and hoping these words continue to be a balm for you in the weeks to come. Be nice to you, as you go forward and make all the decisions you know you need you. God be with you. God go before you. ♡

  2. This is SOOO good!!! What I’m not highlights so beautifully what HE is & how much I need Him & only Him! Blessings!

  3. Dear Rachel, your words tugged at my heart and were exactly what my soul needed to hear. My heart and body has felt battered from physical and emotional pain ,and constantly thinking those 3 words this past year. Thank you for sharing your faith and heart to remind me I’m not in control as much as I’d like to be or think that I am and that’s a good thing. I need to remind myself to trust God and that it’s perfectly OK that I don’t get everything right. I want to consciously replace my mantra of “I’m so stupid” with ” God’s in control ” I will be praying for you. Thank you again and God bless.

    • Love your heart, Kathleen. I may also need to amend my mantra with the one you shared…God is in control. That sounds so much better (and rings truer) than I’m so stupid. Taking your words to heart, today. I hear you on that physical and emotional pain. Lord be with you in all you do. Hoping these words continue to be a balm and bring healing in the days to come. ♡

  4. rachel!!! my God!! thank you so much for sharing this. i have uttered these words, but also 3 other little harmful words: “i am weak.” i have felt weak because hindsight is always more clear than foresight and i feel like i SHOULD have handled this or that differently. thank you for the powerful reminder that little words can be big lies with deep-seeded and damaging effects. sometimes it takes others to remind us to be kind and extend grace to ourselves.

    this part truly ministered to me (and i am breathing it in as well): You’re not stupid [or weak]. What you are is limited in your capacity to know and to solve everything. You cannot see into the future. You cannot shield yourself from every failing or fracture. You are not stupid, but you are fragile and finite. You are made from dust and to dust you will return. Trust Me, turn to Me. Look to Me, lean on Me. Focus on Me, follow Me. When life and health and love and dreams fall apart, fall on Me.

    • I am so walking this out with you, Karyn. I was a little in shock when finally realized just how much I’d been saying this phrase to myself. Even just small little moments, whispered under the breath. When I sat with it for a while, I realized it all boiled down to control. Releasing things in God’s hands. Though I care, He cares more. Much grace to you, as you continue to lean into His leading. ♡

  5. Oh Rachel this was so meaningful to me. Reading this was like looking into a mirror for me. I am not stupid! It brings tears to my eyes to say this out loud.

  6. My best friend is one of those who say “I’m stupid” and I hate it. I am sharing this article with her right now. Thank You!

  7. Totally bookmarked this. The past week or so, I’ve been on edge. I’m always worried about my loved ones encountering cruddy situations. My anxiety is THROUGH THE ROOF. Yesterday, I called in sick to work…..then took a COVID test. Yep. God’s way of telling me I need to stop.

  8. This reminds me of all the times I’ve said these types of things to myself. (And, how often I’ve been asked, “If you were speaking to a friend, would you say this?” I would always reply, “Of course not!”

    Pain and I are closely acquainted, and, it can make you feel lower than low, which doesn’t help our self-talk. I have wondered if I hadn’t had all of my surgeries, physical therapy, etc- I’d be financially rich! I say this, half -laughing, but in truth, I have spent more than I’d ever like to admit in my recoveries. Due to my surgeries and trauma experienced during those times, my empathy towards others is enormous. I may not know exactly “how” you feel, but I’ve suffered with pain that drugs couldn’t touch.

    I found EFT Tapping (on YouTube for free) in my research- and as skeptical as I was, it really helped me! I even pray as I tap! It’s all about calming our pain center down. A cellular biologist, Debbie Miller, PhD, volunteers at a hospital in Oaxaca, Mexico teaching children with cancer how to tap and lessen the severity of their pain.

    I pray you find the perfect balance of the things that work for you in your healing. Just remember: It’s a partnership, and requires you to strengthen AND stretch. Hugs to you!

  9. Thank you for being so vulnerable & authentic. I just yesterday said under my breath, “you dumb a…” I needed this reminder that in my weakness His Grace is truly sufficient. ✨❤️

  10. That was an excellent writing and really ‘hit the spot’ with me. I have always felt like it was up to me to be the fixer and then feel like such a failure when I can’t. Thank you so much for this writing. God bless.

  11. Love this. Thank you for sharing honestly what so many of us have felt.

    I used to work at a Christian chiropractor’s office where the doctors approached their work as ministry. So many people would have emotions surface during treatment that they now employ a licensed therapist in the office, as well.

  12. Rachel,

    You hit the nail on the head with this post. I’ve said those three words so many times last fall. Mostly because I made a few mistakes. Compounded to that my job changed drastically to one I don’t like at all. Then I begin thinking about my past & how I feel like I messed up. Thanks to God & my loving husband I have come to see that I’m not stupid. Just a frail human prone to making mistakes.

    When Covid hit the hospital had a mantra “God’s Got This”. It was our way of saying God will take care of this. We just have to trust Him with the results.

    Blessings 🙂