About the Author

Melissa Zaldivar is a social in the world of academics and an academic in the world of socials. She's an author and podcast host with a BA in Communications and an MA in Theology. She loves a good sandwich, obscure history, and wandering around New England antique shops.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
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(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Melissa that was wonderful!!! Next month it will be year 5 that I became a widow. I have had people ask if I will date again and get married. My answer is I am ok being who I am and where I am. When I first became widowed, some couples pulled back. But I then found a community of widows (or rather they embraced me into their group) at my church who welcomed me and we became known as the Wild Widows because we found joy in life and in each other. So much so, that after Sunday worship, during coffee hour, others would join us because they saw how we embraced life. We were of all ages, and were widows for different amounts of time. It was a powerful experience for me. I no longer live near them but we still support each other from afar and remind each other of the joys we share.

  2. I read an article on dictionary.com yesterday that kinda made me mad. Supposedly Feb 15 is the anti Valentine’s day or S.A.D. (Singles Awareness Day) Singles are encouraged to do all the chocolate, fancy dinner, flowers & special gifts for themselves since they didn’t “participate” with someone on the 14th. May we as believers ALWAYS encourage one another where God has us. Honing each other toward Christ likeness period. May my phrasing never belittle another’s path. Blessings & see ya at the wedding feast when we both get there!

  3. Great devotional today! I definitely took a different route in life than most of my friends. I usually tell me I lived life backwards. I married young, had a family, then went to college. I also found myself divorced in my mid-30’s. He was toxic and emotionally abusive and I was so relieved to see it end. I wasn’t eager to couple-up again and stayed single for 10 years before I decided to start dating again. (That’s another story) When I did decide to start dating, my married friends wondered why I’d be willing to give up my “freedom” of singleness. At that point my kids were all grown and out of the house. They are all still raising kids and trying to get them launched. I suffered a lot of sadness during my season of dating. My married friends didn’t offer much in the way of sympathy because again, they couldn’t fathom why I’d do it in the first place! After my long-term relationship ended suddenly last summer, again I didn’t get the support I needed. It’s definitely put a wedge in some of my friendships.

  4. Yes. After 68 years of singleness, I am finally regarded as an adult. 🙂 I own my little house, because the Lord provided one I could afford. I do NOT have tons of time (hey, we have to take out our own trash, fill the gas tank, wash the car, do the grocery shopping…all those things my friend’s husbands do for the family!) And for some of us, who never married, we don’t have a constant stream of grandchildren’s pictures to show or grandkids to talk about. But the benefits are definitely there too – I can let the dishes pile up while I work on my art; I’ve learned that vacationing alone can be a fun thing… It is just a different path. Not a better one or not a worse one…lonely at times, but very rewarding in many ways too. And I’d rather be lonely sometimes as a single than lonely in an unhappy marriage! I’m so thankful for the blessing of married friends and single friends!

  5. As a divorcee, options on a form indicate ‘single’. It’s interesting how society categorizes. Being divorced creates it’s own issues at being accepted or not.

  6. I loved being single when I was single! Now that I am married, I am loving it too! God provides all we need while on this earth, so where ever your journey has you right now, God wants you to enjoy it! I never had children, therefore no grand children and so I too, feel a bit out of everyone else’s loop, but God has blessed me to be an aunt and a grand aunt now, so I am happy right where I am!!
    Each and everyone of us has something unique to bring to the Table of God!!

  7. Now THAT I can cue confetti for‼️
    Well said/written Melissa! Thank You
    Thank you Madeline for “My answer is I am ok being who I am and where I am.”
    I too am divorced (twice) not by choice & was living lonely in both marriages. I am pleasantly at peace now as a single. TC – yes, we have the work of two so ….
    Blessings to all of you sisters

  8. I’m sad that this woman needed to write this article. Are there still people thinking that unmarried equals “incomplete”? Or that every unmarried person is yearning to be hitched? I’m a married woman, hoping that I’ll see the day that we celebrate a person for being an individual, complete and loved as they are.

  9. Amen to this, sister! I never particularly wanted to get married. My wise and practical mom raised me with this thought: “Being married has a lot of wonderful things about it and a lot of hard things, too. And being single has a lot of wonderful things about it and a lot of hard things, too.” While most of my friends were being pressured to find a boyfriend/then husband by family and the church. Christians can be cruel about this subject. My (clean) answer to people who questioned why I wasn’t married yet was: “I’m a Baptist nun, and married to Jesus.” I did end up getting married at 34, and mom was right! But I have actively relayed mom’s message to single women, and high school women, for many, many years; and I have always included single people in our lives. Single people are people, too! Thank you for writing this!

  10. Melissa,

    I say, preach it, sister! As a married woman who doesn’t have children (except fur babies), I like to say what you said so well. It’s not that we’re lacking in life. Our lives just look different but are just. As. Fulfilling. And you know what, single or married and childless, we’re no less daughters of the King. So sing on!

  11. Melissa,

    God made us all differently. Society makes us believe we have to do certain things at a particular age. That is ridiculous. Some people may never get married & they are alright with that. They enjoy being single & doing their own thing. I know two people who are divorced & chose to stay :single. They are busier than most people I know. Paul says it best in 1 Corinthians 7:8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. If you are single you have more time, usually, to devote to volunteering & church work. Never put people in a box. God will determine who does & doesn’t get married. We should just love on them as Christ would.

    Blessings 🙂