I take my time, strolling through the aisles of Costco, snapping photos of the prices of sandwich bread, apples, cheese, paper towels, and everything on my long list of youth retreat supplies to compare to prices elsewhere. I had volunteered to buy groceries and prep the meals for this year’s winter camp, and I didn’t know then how much these mundane tasks were exactly what I needed that week to steady me.
The Saturday before, in the midst of Lunar New Year celebrations, shots were fired in a ballroom dance studio in Monterey Park, California. Eleven were killed. Then, just two days later, another shooting, this time in Half Moon Bay, California. Seven were killed. Reading the news, I felt at once numb to the commonplace reality of mass shootings and unnerved that this was our reality. What do we do with this kind of news? How do we grieve, rage, and preserve our sanity? Do I post about it? Talk with others about it? Is that enough? Is it helpful in the slightest?
I don’t know, to be honest.
I reshare someone else’s post because I never have the right words in these moments and because I’m afraid this sort of news – news about Asian Americans – won’t be widely seen or heard or cared about nationally.
And then, with all the groceries now littering the kitchen counters, I sit down at our dining table with a Korean-style plastic basin filled with garlic heads and start to peel one clove at a time. I could’ve just bought the bag of already peeled garlic from Costco, but I couldn’t justify the price nor loss in flavor. And this is the work my body instinctually knew it needed to be doing.
It’s slow work, but I don’t mind. It reminds me of my grandma. I try to remember if she ever sat with a plastic basin full of garlic heads, but she must have, whether or not I can recall. This is her posture, her movements, her hands that I see in mine. Soon, my mother-in-law joins me to help, and together we sit quietly and peel off the paper-thin wrappings.
This is when I realize: Ah, herein lies the gift, the grace, the goodness. When the world is hurting, when people are fighting, killing, and desperate, the ordinary is where we find God again – in the small acts of love, in the memory of being loved, in the everyday work required to feed and care for one another. It’s holy work, and it brings us back to the presence of our God who sits with us in silence, holding our grief and grieving too. And knowing He understands and carries all of the tragedy and trauma in His hands quiets the flustered anguish inside me. The stillness makes space for sadness and joy to have a place at the table, and I’m grateful to feel again and be grounded once more.
I long for the day when violence will cease and we will no longer be afraid. I keep asking, “How long, Lord?” and “When will it stop?” but there are no answers to my questions for now, perhaps ever. In the tension of the wait, hope for a better world can start to wane and my heart can easily callous over. When that happens, I know now how to find my way through, how to find my way back. I go to the kitchen, gather the ingredients for a simple dish, and settle into the movements of ordinary work. And there, God invites my questions, soothes my soul, and reminds me His love endures forever.
He remembered us in our low estate
His love endures forever.
and freed us from our enemies.
His love endures forever.
He gives food to every creature.
His love endures forever.
Give thanks to the God of heaven.
His love endures forever.
Psalm 136:23-26
Grace, That is so true about heading to the kitchen to do anything after all stressed spelled backwards is dessert. Jesus often fed people so I really think preparing any kind of food is calming. My dearest girlfriend is Chinese & lives in San Francisco & I often worry about her; but my kitchen & I are good friends :o) God bless you!
I love how you referred to your kitchen as a good friend. Indeed it is for me as well.
This is so beautiful and so simple. Thank you for this reminder. In the midst of all the chaos, God meets me in the simple ordinary places and reminds me of His love and care.
Yes and amen.
It is a struggle to understand this world but how to fix, well, i am at a loss. I try to be that instrument of peace as the song goes. I try to be kind and caring and hope maybe in my little world those around are safe. I also am a big fan of Fred Rogers. So when bad things happen, I look for the helpers.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Mr. Rogers lately too, and I hope we can be people who love well as he was.
I love this and it’s a good reminder that God is in the simple ordinary daily things we do to nurture and care for those we love.
Thank you Grace for reminding me/us.
Grace, this post so reverberates with me! I will remember this coping device when I feel overwhelmed with living life. Thank you!
Yes! I hope when you’re in the kitchen or doing whatever mundane thing you enjoy that you will feel grounded in God’s love.
Beautiful words and truth, Grace. Thank you for this simple yet profound reminder. It’s certainly one I need often.
Remember you are a child of God and HIS LOVE does endure forever. Hold onto HIM and the beautiful loving people around you. HIS ARMS holds each of us and guides us in HIS WAYS whatever our journey. Blessings for your beautiful devotions and prayers for all
My soul needed to be reminded of this today.
Thank you Grace. I needed this. I am overwhelmed with immense sadness over the state of our country and the world. The evil that is so overwhelming. Sometimes I feel alone with how I feel. That’s when I know I need God the most!
Yes, it’s been helpful for me to remember that this world has been through hard things before, and so I can persevere knowing others have done it before me.
All of the violence that is happening around us daily, sometimes hourly hurts me so much. I truly don’t understand how our country has changed for the worse so quickly. God made each of us, and we all bleed the same color…so why does the color of our skin, or our ethnicity matter at all. I remember God, tells us to pray for our enemies, but also that love will wax cold. I have had to put all of it into God’s hands and remember that He is control. But I do pray for all the children and what it may be like for them, when they become young adults. I pray for a revival and I pray for God to come back and get us soon…thank you for speaking about this, Grace. I receive several devotions every day, and no one ever mentions this…but I know that it affects so many with fear, anxiety, concern. But its like if we don’t acknowledge it, its not happening or will just go away. I just pray about it all…and try to show everyone I pass a smile, a kindness, compassion and respect. The devil as a roaring lion is devouring more and more into his darkness. It seems he is winning the battle, but it is God who will win this war! Even so, Lord come soon.
Thank you for allowing God to use you in blessing others lives.
It’s not a easy task but so necessary. Wisdom is very valuable. May God continue to bless you in your ministry. I’m encouraged by your insights.
Grace,
This world is so full of hatred & distrust. The noise & din on social media can really get to me. I choose not to participate in all that. I simply go about my day loving on those around me & praying for those whose lives are disrupted by violence & hatred. Often times I turn on Christian music or Steven Furtick (TV preacher). Keeping God’s word in my heart. When I get frustrated at work I can usually bring up a song in my mind & start meditating on it whilst doing my job.
BTW I love to cook. On weekends I can be found in kitchen making up some creations for the work week.
Blessings 🙂