About the Author

At (in)courage, we empower women to be like Jesus. Our writers share what’s going on in their life and how God’s right in the middle of it. They bring their joys & struggles so that you can feel less alone and be empowered by the hope Jesus gives.

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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Oh Becky, you have stepped on my toes this AM. Technically I have done all & more in my job to get a form required for a client. Asking the client to help themselves by getting the required signature resulted in them telling me to do what I’ve repeatedly done. Stubborn me wants to dig in my heels & say no it’s your turn. But really how hard is it for me to send 1 more fax? 1 more fax to bless this client rather than being the judge of what appears to be their laziness. You chose to see & be the blessing. I can chose to put my technical rightness away & be a blessing to this client. I will be sending a fax shortly. Thanks for the push! Blessings! (((0)))

    • Ruth, I’m so glad this was meaningful to you! (God steps on my toes all the time!) lol. But I’ve never regretted following His lead and choosing to be the blessing. After all, oh how He has blessed me with His unending love and grace!

  2. Such an important message. I went through this whole process with my toxic family. My earthly father is a pastor as well so the family took me further from the real love God had for us. I’ve gone through spiritual and emotional abuse. I’ve healed and know how to have healthy relationships because the Lord God showed me the way. Boundaries by Drs Townsend and Cloud helped me so greatly and by practicing those lessons I have healthy relationships with boundaries and I now know that confrontation is inevitable but we must handle it in a positive way. Those who avoid confrontation often become toxic. I’ve tried to reconcile with my family and sent them biblical books explaining how I feel and why it is the right thing according to God but they just keep saying I need to come back to the family. But I need to rebuild trust. I don’t trust them not to abuse me again. I hope and pray they will let God change their hearts some day. Anyway thank you for teaching others about this important topic. It’s important to get out there. I believe everyone should read that book Boundaries and put it into practice. People around us here avoid confrontation and put down those of us who use healthy talking techniques. Hopefully we can either move someday or people’s hearts get touched. I could use prayers. Anyway thank you for the encouragement. Sadly I know too many of us out there have gone and are going through this. I see it way prevalent in the culture today. But God is good and if it hadn’t happened to me, I may not have had the close loving relationship with PaPa God that I have now. I wouldn’t trade that.

  3. Becky,

    God is always giving us ways to be a blessing to others. A few minutes ago I called my MIL & checked on how she is doing. She will be 88 next month & has several health issues. I know it blessed her to hear from me & it didn’t take long. Tomorrow I may call a few friends I know who are widows. Just to say hello & listen to them. At work (hospital ICU clerical) I pray for my co-workers, patients & families. I have been in their shoes waiting to hear how the patient is doing & what the next steps are in healing. Often I will offer to get the family something to drink or if they or patient needs anything. Putting away my needs for a minute to help someone else. It’s the simple, small things in life that can make a big impact. It helps shed God’s light & love in this world.

    Each Friday I volunteer at Loaves & Fishes Food bank. Usually bring in some boxes & then help out with whatever they need. Our clients are grateful for the food we give them. It helps me to be more others focused.

    Blessings 🙂