About the Author

Mary is a writer and speaker who lives for good books, spicy queso, and television marathons – but lives because of God’s grace. She writes about giving up on perfect and finding truth in unexpected places at MaryCarver.com. Mary and her husband live in Kansas City with their two daughters.

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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Mary, thank you for sharing your hard, mysterious health path with your daughter & the struggle to hold onto hope. Your transparency is relatable & also draws me & I’m sure others to join the warriors in prayer for you & your family. Dear Father be tangible to the Carvers & all who are struggling with lost hope/waning hope. Enable us each to be sustained by You the person who is Hope & is faithful in all things even as we waiver. Give insight & wisdom to the medical team to determine & treat Mary’s daughter well or simply say the word & bring healing & restoration. Be magnified in their journey & deepen faith roots for all who witness their journey. In Your Great Name, The Great Physician & Author of Hope, Jesus, Amen.

  2. Mary, I’m so very sorry about your daughter’s undiagnosed illness. My heart & prayers go out to you.
    My own “hope is wearing thin” story includes an estranged relationship with our son…haven’t had a phone call with him in over 3 years and haven’t seen him in over 5 years.
    We’re also going through a difficult “hope is wearing thin” season within our church family.
    I need to remember why we have hope and in Whom we have hope.
    I even bought your “Create in me a heart of hope” book, but I haven’t even been able to have enough hope to heartbreakingly work my way through it yet.
    Praying for more hope.

    • Dear mp,
      Like you, I’ll be lifting Mary and her family up in healing prayer. Also like you, I have been estranged from my son, without any specific event or explanation since 2012.
      My heart goes out to you in your estrangement struggles. Some days my heart is hopeful, while other days I cling to a thread of it. Whether bountiful or lean in hope,
      I embrace God’s truth of “all things work together for good for those who love and serve the Lord.”
      I envision the Holy Spirit healing my son’s heart. Please know I will pray for your situation to heal. Feel free to reach out to me for further sharing at kathleen.bowers@

    • mp, that sounds incredibly difficult. I hear your heartbreak in your words. Praying God will give you the glimmer of hope you need to hold on as you endure this “thin” season.

    • MP,

      Abba Father, Please shower MP & her family with hope that only comes from you. Soften their son’s heart to call them. Heal their church family. Bring about some peace & calm to their lives. Give MP the strength & will power to go through the “Create in me a Heart of Hope” Bible study. Bless this family as you will. In Jesus Name

      Blessings 🙂

  3. At times in my own life, I have to remind myself that He never leaves. Even if I don’t sense or feel His presence, He is no liar, and so, He is present. Thanks for a glimpse into the real life of most believers. May we always remember that at times, we must remind ourselves, He is God with us.

  4. My friend had a horrible cancer. She struggled with the pain but was always praying. I know I had thought at times God was not listening or had said no. It is hard to watch and worry about someone. I appreciate your story and knowing others understand how we feel. Thank you

    • Cathy, I’m so sorry for your friend’s—and your—pain. You’re right. Sometimes it’s harder to watch those we love go through pain than it is to feel it ourselves! I suppose that gives us a glimpse into how our pain breaks God’s heart as well.

  5. Mary, I will sit and pray for wisdom, compassion and clarity for you, your family and your medical team right now.
    I am amazed at the people that muddle through such difficult times and still find the hope that was promised to us.
    The day before my mother passed away, her daily calendar saying was “Some day you’ll understand why things happened the way they did”. I feel pretty dense at times. I pray for you to feel and hear God’s presence.

  6. Oh Mary, you are so real and I can totally relate to your experiences with your daughter. As tears stream down my face, I pray for you and your daughter as I also pray for my own daughter and her health issues. Reading your words takes away the guilt I often feel for my own thoughts, and you encourage me to remain faithful. I will continue to keep you in my prayers.

  7. Mary,
    I’m sorry that your daughter is sick. I pray that you will get answers and that she will get better soon. Waiting is hard and watching someone we love struggling or hurting or sick is even harder.

    Lord , you have the knowledge of what’s going on. Please send relief, the right Doctors , or cure today. Hold on to Mary and her family as they wait and watch. Encourage and strengthen them in every moment. In your Precious Name ,Amen

  8. I am in a hope is wearing thin season as well. My daughters who were raised to love Jesus have not had anything to do with Him since living on their own. They are 32 and 28 now and one is raising my grandchild. It’s so heartbreaking to see them living apart from how they were raised and the God who loves them so much. Thank you for sharing your story of struggle. I always look forward to what you have to say. I will be in prayer for your daughter as I continue to pray for mine.

  9. Mary, my prayers for faith in hope are with you. After several years of hope in faith, and struggles with our oldest; ( as I see others referencing in their responses) and a season of health issues for myself, my hope has become a thinner thread this year. Some days are more overwhelming than others as I grapple with the realities in our lives. I pray that your faith is restored through faith in your beliefs and through the wisdom of the Health system.
    We never know when our faith will be tested very personally,
    I continue to pray that my faith will guide us through this season
    In our lives, as I do for yours. Your words and the comforting , faithful responses from others spoke to me today to keep putting one foot in front of the other toward the light of faith.
    Thank you all.

    • Lyn, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through a “thin” time as well, but I’m grateful for your kindness and prayer. I join you in asking the Lord to sustain us and heal the hurt places in our families and our lives.

  10. Just this morning, feeling somewhat gloomy about 2023 and so many earthly things weighing upon me, this stanza came to me: “Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
    let this blest assurance control: that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,and has shed his own blood for my soul.” And I keep reciting that over and over — Christ has regarded MY helpless estate. It IS well with my soul. Prayers are lifted over you Mary that is is well with your soul and for your daughter’s health.

  11. Mary, thank you for sharing your struggles. Praying that God just fold His loving arms around you and your daughter. FATHER GOD, I just ask that you heal this your ladies body. Fill her with your peace and help her to rest in You.

  12. May the Good Lord heal your daughter and restore your hope in him! I’ve been in a weary time of waiting too! It is so hard! May God give us reason to rejoice in Him yet once again! In Jesus name Amen

  13. Thank you so much for these words Mary. This past year as been the hardest and longest year of my life. From my husband moving out, then asking for a divorce, to me needing to have a total hysterectomy. My hope has definitely been put to the test. I’m praying for a better 2023.

    Prayer for your daughter. I pray that she feels better soon.

    • Tara, that is so very much to bear in one short year. Like you, I’m grateful we don’t have to endure our pain alone, grateful we have a Savior who never leaves us. Joining you in prayer today…

  14. Testing comes to all while we walk the valleys the unconverted places of our soul and yet Mary your heart is strong and your life stands on an unshakeable foundation (Christ) you will not be moved to the point of no return. There is no other powerful position God gives than to intercede for our daughters, TAKE comfort in the darkest valley, look there is a banquet table prepared – go eat in front of our enemy (Psalms 23).
    O come Emmanuel, you are the rod in the valley
    O come Emmanuel, you are the staff in the valley
    O come Emmanuel, you are the valley
    O Emmanuel come take away the offense from our souls while we walk the darkest valley, for all, we walk the victory walk.
    O Lord we are all absorbed in thee. Therefore Hope has no end, Praise be to God.

  15. Thank you for sharing, Mary. I too have been a long-term medical situation where hope was thin, and I had to cling to Scripture verses on Help and Hope.
    And the still small voice asked, “Will you still Follow Me, even through this?”
    As time went on there was added, “Will you still Trust Me, even through this?” and, “Will you still Love Me, even through this?” And the only answer had to be Yes. There is nowhere else to go but to the Lord.

    • Yes, Ann, so true – there’s nowhere else to go, nobody else who loves us as much or as well. Your words remind me of my friend Kaitlyn’s book “Even If.” Even if this? Yes, Lord. Yes.

  16. Dear Mary, What a beautiful, open & honest and powerful article! I will be praying for you, your daughter & family! Also for everyone in these comments who has shared such painful situations yet they’re still clinging to the one true God Who gave us Jesus and has the answers for us all as I too continue to daily praise Him even though hard to some days! Our 15 year Navy Veteran son’s lovely unbeliever wife felt she could no longer live the Military life and three years ago left him, taking our two beautiful grandsons, to go further her own career & life. Long story short, he had two breakdowns, lost his career afrter they treated him for trauma and although fighting the divorce for two years it went through yet he has not been allowed to communicate with his boys ages 7 & 9 because of the breakdowns – even after many court hearings and expensive lawyers fees, they make all the decisions not considering or caring he is their flesh & blood Dad. I had forgiven & pray for her (who we had treated as our second daughter) as God taught me to do always, but John III says he no longer believes there’s a God. We haven’t seen him for 4 years and he hasn’t wanted to talk about anything this past year. I have prayed night & day – and for others as I’ve prayed all my life – and shed uncountable tears. One touch, one word from God Whom nothing is impossible can change anything in a moment. I pray that for us all here!

  17. Mary,

    Abba Father, Give a discerning heart to Mary’s daughter’s medical team. Show them the problem & guide them to the proper treatment. Send your healing touch. Give the family hope & peace in the midst of this trial. In Jesus Name

    I work in ICU as a clerical. I see traumas & families in despair every day. I pray for them just as I did for you. Asking God to comfort them with the hope that only comes from Him. Life is hard down here. But one day we will all understand why things happened as they did.

    Blessings 🙂

  18. Praying that the Lord would hold you and you family close at this difficult time, that he would encourage all of you, that he would reach out to each of you in a very personal way, that he would restore your hope, that he would give the doctors wisdom and that he would heal your daughter. I pray that God will lift you up and carry you when your own strength is gone and that he will show himself faithful and shower you with His love.

  19. I’ve been exactly where you are. Hang in there. Keep being her advocate. We will keep her (and your family) in our prayers!!

  20. Thank you. This may have been written weeks ago but it came at just the right time for me.