About the Author

Ellen Wildman is the associate product manager for Bible publishing at DaySpring, and author of Single and Not Sorry. She worked on the NLT Inspire Illustrating Bible, which features more than 300 ready-to-color designs throughout the Bible that are all centered around faith, hope, or love. Ellen lives in Nashville,...

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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Thank you for the reminders. I believe there is interest in others but we also need to keep empathy in mind before those questions to others. I get some of it due to my life’s circumstances. I understand where folks are coming from, but there are times I’d rather not be reminded of things.

  2. Ellen well wrote. My two best friends are single. They along with another friend of mine who is a best friend are single. They if we’re asked would they like to be in relationship. They said never thought about it happy the way we are. If was of God it would have happened. But don’t miss not having what you never had they say to me. We have the Lord. They are happy with their lives. I love them. They tell you they can do what they want and don’t have to worry about anyone. But at the same time saying I am Married. It is nice to have some one. I can see what they mean when they say the things they say. God I believe has our lives maped out for us. If we are to meet someone we will. If not we not. Thank you again Ellen for what you wrote. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little keeping you all in prayer incourage. Xx

    • Thanks so much Dawn! I agree with you – God has our lives mapped out for us, and we can trust His plan.

  3. Thank you Ellen for your reminder “to connect” with our loved friends and family as a person not as a comparison to us or others. I really appreciate the use of scripture too! I can always use a little help and encouragement (scripture) in choosing the right words and questions in my communication.
    Have a wonderful blessed day \0/

  4. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing this, Ellen. You really spoke to my heart today. I am trying to maintain momentum in my life while waiting on several things, and these words especially encouraged and challenged me: ‘if you actively work to focus your eyes ahead on the path God has laid out for you, you will find joy untethered from comparison. God knows your desires and your heart, and He has laid out a path just for you.’ Thank you again, and Merry Christmas!

  5. Wow! I needed this reminder right now! As an empty nest, single woman, I am prone to comparing my loneliness to the happy couples and families I see on social media. Those feelings are compounded by remembering past holidays when my kids were younger, when I wasn’t single. Thank you!

    • Bethany,

      This can be especially hard around the holidays. Our little church has a “family communion” at our Christmas sermon. By family we mean anyone who you want to join your group. We usually go with his x-in laws & their family. We include a friend of theirs. My pastor’s wife invites many “single” or those alone to come to a potluck on Thanksgiving, Christmas & Easter. She does so to make sure you aren’t alone the whole day. Praying you won’t feel to lonely this year. Asking God to provide a place for you to enjoy friendships.

      Blessings 🙂

    • I totally understand how you feel Bethany! It’s so hard not to compare. I hope this Christmas is a community filled, joyous one for you.

  6. Ellen,

    Loved this: comparison is the thief of joy. That is soo true. It’s hard to be happy when we think we need to have or do what others have/do. Like you said we were all created different. Hubby I don’t like traveling especially in big cities. My ideal town would only have around 15-20k people. My hubby has a nephew that is divorced many years) & will never get married again. He is content with his life. When we see him we ask about any home renovations, paintings, or work. I love to engage with others on a deep level that shows I care for them. God has each of us on a journey. No one knows what that might look like.

    Blessings 🙂

    • Thanks Beth! It’s true – there are so many ways to interact with others beyond just their relationship status. And we get to know each other in new and deeper ways too!

  7. I loved this message. I heard a sermon once that explained there are different blessings in everything. If you are single, you can do whatever you want without checking in so much, if you are married you have someone always there and less lonely. If you have kids, you get the joy of raising next generation of believers, if you don’t have kids, you can go on trips easier. Life has many different blessings from God and none of us have the same. Thankful for what each of us has received. Amen