About the Author

Kathi lives with Roger and a bunch of chickens in the Sierra Nevada Mountains of California. There they host writer retreats, and Kathi writes about how to do life with God a little closer today than yesterday. She’s a best-selling author and absolutely loves her Clutter Free Community on Facebook.

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things we love
& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. Kathi, I cannot believe you were given so much material for shame from multiple doctors as well as pastors. As Christ followers we should be the best encouragers ever. Speaking truth & hope into each other because of the truth & hope Christ has given us! I’m mad at those who were so ugly to you & SO thankful God led you to an MD that can encourage & give you hope! May we all walk in a manner worthy of THE HOPE, THE CHRIST helping each other throw off our cloaks of shame! Thank you for sharing this painful journey & the hope you have been given! Blessings!

    • The hope is the whole thing, isn’t it. So grateful for God being with us even when humans fail.

  2. Thank you Kathi! I am a fluffy girl myself. My weight ballooned during COVID and I have been trying to lose it back. It is slow going. I got the slow metabolism my sister got the fast one so you can imagine all the self worth issues I have experienced. It is hard to let go of the memories when people in my family have made comments even though they are not skinny themselves. My mom once offered to pay for a tummy tuck if/when I lose the weight.

    I am losing now because I want to be around for my kids and grandkids in the future. It does make me feel better to have lost some. I wish people really understood how difficult it is.

    • Our older relatives are sometimes still stuck in diet culture – it’s such a brainwashing. I love that you are doing all of this for the right reasons.

  3. What an awesome article this morning. Yes, I am struggling with obesity, rheumatoid arthritis, hypertension, type II diabetes, sleep apnea, depression and anxiety, fatty liver disease (nonalcoholic) and guilt. I feel guilty for the years I have spent under the influence of feeling 2nd class. I can only imagine how it would feel to walk and sleep with out discomfort or pain. I’m doing better and God gets the praise, honor and glory.

    Let’s stop making ourselves and others feel less than.

    God loves all of His children.

    With Gratitude,


    Enjoy your day

  4. Kathi,

    I always look forward to reading your articles. Thank you for using your unique voice to help others.

  5. Kathi,

    What a WORD of encouragement you’re bringing today!! Thank you for giving us the very thing you needed; there’s such a freedom in being seen, heard, and valued, isn’t there? It makes me sad for you to have lived under that mantle of shame in areas where you should’ve been protected, but sensing the victory you’ve gained is such a beautiful reflection of Jesus. xoxo

  6. Oh Kathi I am so sorry you went through this! Thanks for being so open and vulnerable. Your new doc sounds like a true git from God! I will be praying for help with this struggle. I know what it’s like to hurt and it is exhausting. Praise God for sending you hope.

  7. Kathi,
    You served so many when you brought the burden and uselessness of shame front and center through your relatable writing to share how it is possible, loving,and life freeing to shout,” No more shame!”
    My gratitude,

  8. Kathi, your post really resonated with me. Shame from those who had an optimum opportunity to encourage… I’m so thankful your new dr wasn’t like the others. Not hating myself has been a pivotal point of change for me too. Blessings to you, sweet sister, on your journey to health in all areas of life. Thank you for sharing.

  9. Thank you so much for sharing! I’m so sorry this happened to you! Big hug and blessings to you!

  10. Thank you for sharing your story so openly. I too have felt shame. Shame for not being enough, shame for not being skinny enough, shame for not achieving more, a marriage partner choice, and the list goes on. I am enough!

  11. I went to a doctor earlier this year about sleep apnea. She told me to lose 70 pounds, “it’ll be easy.” Lady, if it were easy, I’d have already done it!

  12. Thank you for this encouraging message. I too have worked lots on my weight and it has been frustrating. I feel better though since I found shoes that are better for my feet. Now I see workouts as an act of worship to our Lord God instead of a chore

  13. Oh, Kathi! My heart weeps for you! Grace! This doctor extended grace. And empathy. Just like our Lord does! And you found her! Well done!

  14. I am in the longest season of depression and anxiety I have ever experienced in my life. I pray for others and stand on God’s promises each day. May the Lord bless you all with His wonderful presence and healing

  15. I so appreciate you sharing this insight! For years, I attended church, being reminded EVERY Sunday that I was a sinner. Like you, I didn’t have to be reminded. I am grateful for the lessons I learned about myself over the last several years, and how little I thought of myself. We do the best we can with the tools we have- AND- let’s embrace growth that encourages and uplifts one another. It does require effort (some days more than others), but it’s always worth it.

  16. Kathi, you are a beautiful child of the King ❤️ theres no room for shame in the arms of Jesus. Thank you for sharing your heart.

  17. Thanks for sharing your experience in life. I gained some weight after I had an injury at work where I fell and hurt my knee couldn’t go back to work due to modifies duty. Home by myself when husband was working. I had to find good things to talk about with God. I sat alot due to what I’d been thru in my body. I’m glad I’m now working part time at another place. There’s always something to look forward to in life. God always has a plan for us. It’s around the corner. Wait and see. God bless you and Merry Christmas

  18. I am so sorry that you were treated so poorly. I avoided seeing a doctor for 18 years because I had been shamed so much about my weight. One of my earliest memories is of our family physician making derogatory comments about my weight.

    I lived through pneumonia and other illnesses without seeking medical help because I could not face the shame and guilt that I knew I would receive.

    Finally, I hit rock bottom and had to seek medical attention. I “gave it to God” and found a kind nurse practitioner. It has been several years now. I am not where I want to be physically, but I no longer carry the fear and shame.

    My prayer for you is for you to continue to find the safe, secure place you deserve on your journey.

  19. Kathi,

    MDs should not shame their patients. It just turns us off & we leave them for someone else. They need to hear us out & give us ideas to help the situation. It is sad that many Christians berate others for their failings in life. They need to take a good look at themselves & see just where they fail-No one down here is perfect. I try to encourage others on their journey. Giving them the hope that is in Christ alone. Praising God you found a good MD to actually hear you out & give you ideas. Praying & asking God to help you lose the weight. Anything is possible with God.

    Blessngs )