About the Author

Holley Gerth is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, counselor, and life coach. Her newest release is The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You. She's also wife to Mark, Mom to Lovelle, and Nana to Eula and Clem.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
Find more at DaySpring.com
(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
Recent Posts

Reader Interactions


  1. Bravo! Well said & so deeply wise, Holley! I found Nancy Guthrie’s “What Grieving People Wish You Knew About What Really Helps” agrees with your post. Your “refresher course” of her book deepens my tool chest of grieving with the hurting. Thank you! Blessings!

  2. I agree, this is excellent. I recently lost my husband and grieving is a process which is not linear.

    • Janice,

      Sweet sister so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband. Asking God to send His comfort & peace to your grieving soul. May you feel His loving arms around you.

      Blessings 🙂

  3. Holly we all greive at some time in our lives. It could be over someone special we love or favourite animal. It not nice greif. But we know we have big big God who will help us through it and in the days that lie ahead and help us be there for the person in our family or friend that is greaving. Show then the love of God. If they let you pray them. As it the unwelcome guest that knocks at every door. To do with a love one or animal we love too. But it teaches us before grief knocks at door. To do with a love one or animal we love too. To make memories and tell the people we love them and show the animals we have love and do nice things with our loved ones and spoil our animals. Let remember God gave them to us Animals and people in our live to love and care for them. Let them all know they are special to us. As when they are gone. We will if don’t we say why didn’t I make memories with them show them more love or spoil my animals more. Then it will be too late. Xx

  4. Thank you, Holly, we all need to hear this. I have heard when you love deep you grieve in the same way. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Even if it’s a pet. I have lost 3 in less than a year. Even though they were older my heart is still aching. It means so much when someone says they get it as they too have lost a pet. They were a part of our family. It will take time. they will be forever in our hearts and memories.

    • BC,

      I have lost 3 pets in my lifetime. Understand how they become a part of your family. You miss their smiles, tail wagging, hugs they give. So sorry you lost 3 in less than a year. Asking God to send comfort & peace to your grieving soul. May you feel God’s arms surrounding you giving you a big hug.

      Blessings 🙂

  5. Someone I care about recently lost an adult child. Since I am not a close friend but I care, I didn’t know what to do to help. In the past as a former local TV producer, I vividly remember interviewing two women who wrote a book about the aftermath of the death of a child. As mothers, they had both experienced this greatest of all heartbreaks. They advised people who are not intimate friends to not invade the privacy of grieving parents by trying to be a close friend and intruding at the time of their bereavement. Still, in addition to praying, I wanted to do something tangible.
    So this morning, rather clumsily I asked a loved one who had also suffered the grief of an adult child’s passing some years ago, what should I do to be of support. They gave me a few tips, but basically agreed if you are not a close friend be cautious not to intrude.
    Then when I opened my emails and this was there from Incourage, it sure seemed like timely wisdom from Heaven. Thank you, Holly. Grieving parents may have to walk alone, yet this post reminded me my prayers can offer valuable support for them on the journey.

  6. Because our culture has embraced Comfort, & distanced itself from Death, we’re very uncomfortable in death’s presence.

    So what, being uncomfortable is a part of being human! Jesus said: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Being There Consistently for someone who’s mourning, is what the Church (Christian Believers) are to do! This is done with deeds, more than with words.

  7. Holley,

    Everyone grieves differently. Working in ICU as a clerical I see tragedy & loss often. If the family seems receptive I often say “I’m praying for you”. “I know this is hard. I’ve been in your shoes with my parents.” “Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.” Most are thankful for the prayers. Sometimes that’s all you have. It’s my way of comforting the hurting.

    Blessings 🙂