About the Author

Jami, wife to Nato and mom of four unruly children, is an entrepreneur and leader who focuses on faith, community, authenticity, and courage. She’s passionate about not doing laundry and hoarding socks and loves using awkward humor and honesty to convey the truth of the gospel and navigate tough conversations.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
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(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
DaySpring.com
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  1. I do understand. I used to be the secretary on a BOD of a condo association and there were 3 women who were relentless in causing trouble, spewing lies and just generally making board members and residents miserable. I finally began praying for them. I did this more for me to be honest. It helped me to let it go. They didn’t change, but I certainly did. Prayer and forgiveness. Amen

  2. Jami, so beautifully written! I am praying now for the one who had caused you damage to be equally convicted of her sin & for God to restore what was damaged in your business. Your obedience is an encouragement to take up prayer as a weapon against sin. Bless you!

  3. Jami, thank you for sharing. I am new to the website.
    I must ask since you mentioned forgiveness with your husband over and affair how did you do it and how long did it take? I feel I have but maybe I haven’t.
    My husband has had about four affairs but along with that three unknown credit card debts worth around $35,000.00. When he got caught he just said he was sorry but did it again.
    Currently he left two years ago and withdrew his 401k to IRA last month and never told me then changed his address because I opened it up and found what he did.
    He swears at me and tells on a conversation all the while being an elder at a small church and does preach occasionally.
    My question is how do you keep forgiving over and over?
    Thank you.
    Suzie

    • Suzie you have to forgive. I know someone who had two affairs. It hurt the whole family badly. The first time the person took the person back. But second time no. But still found the way to forgive because they knew they had Grandkids from their kids and would be at their kids houses every now and then. For Birthday party extra of their kids and the Grandkids. So this person said I will make friends but never have them back. So when together with our kids and Grandkids we can be Hospital for kids and Grandkids sake. As it not fair on them that we would not when it came to the kids Birthday and Grandkids Birthday. Then I get I not be going because I didn’t want to be in the same place as this person who did the wrong. That would not be fair to our kids or the Grandkids. As they wonder why I was not going to their Birthdays. Especially the Grandkids would ask why they were not here. You can’t tell them a lie. Then the Grandkids especially would miss you not being there. So this person went and said I talk to them and do for our kids and Grandkids. So as they aren’t asking questions why I was not going to there Birthdays. But this person did tell the Grandkids they and the other Grandparent were not together. All this person said was for reasons I gave them a chance and they broke it so this time I will not be having them back to live with me anymore. But we are friends and now live in sepret houses. But we will both be at your parents Birthdays and yours. Because we both love you. This person left it like that. Felt so much better having done that. But it did take alot of time with alot of hurt to be to get that they could do that. They said that they done it as it was the right thing to do. Plus for their kids and Grandkids. I did watch the saddness when took them back and they done it again. So I a member of the family said to God one time. Thank you they are able to do this. Not say they can’t go to their kids Birthdays and Grandkids. Because the person who did the wrong will be there. They did it because it better to live harmony and not let the other family members say it not the same they are not at my Birthday party. When the other Grandparent is there they didn’t want that. As they loved their kids far to much and Grandkids. God was so proud of them for being able to do this. But I can see where you are coming from how many times do you forgive?. You have to as the word of God says to keep on forgiving. As it will only eat you up if don’t. God knows your hurt and pain you have went through. All the tears you have cried. As God see all that. God will honour you for doing so if you can. No matter how hard it is to do. If this person I am talking about. If they could not have sat in same room even for their kids and Grandkids sake on special occasions like Birthdays. They knew they would have been hurt their Grandkids for not having both Grandparents together and do would their kids. This person knew they were doing the right thing. I will say a prayer for you. It not nice. God sees your hurt and pain. I had forgiven this person that done the wrong to as they were a parent of mine. I would not be able to go as they are elderly now a bit of home help for them. If I not done what God words says and forgive them. Yes what they done has hurt alot and I will never forget what they done to my other parent. But I know God is proud of me for forgiving them. As it would always eat me up if I didn’t. The only person it would hurt more than my parent that done it. Would be me God showed me this. I glad I did. Feel for you as it not nice. Xx

    • I grew up with a father that sounds alot like your ex. I’ve learned that grieving the great disappointment and hurt is necessary for moving forward. God will be there for you to listen, hold you and heal your broken heart. He is close too the brokenhearted.
      Seek His presence and tell Him how much it hurt you. Listen and pay attention for His response and little by little He will heal you. You have to take a leap of faith to fully believe that He will be with you and hear you and help you. If you take this step, then you will be able to hear and feel Him, to see that He is there for you even if you’ve never seen it before or knew He was.
      Also I had to learn to see him as a very hurt, toxic and damaging person to keep myself from expecting more… His actions have to do with his lack of control, degree of hurt and anger. Most people who are like this are this way with everyone (eventually), not just you so it helped me to depersonalize the experience. He does the things he does due to things having to do only with him.
      After grieving the things he did, and grieving that he was never the person I thought he was, and accepted that he is the way he is and probably never will change, it freed me and helped me to get over him. God also directed me to forgive him for my own health and to let go of the relationship I always wanted from him. He wasn’t capable of it so I found that it was best for me to distance my interactions with him for my own peace and health. Yes, he will always be my father. I send him a card on Father’s Day, his Birthday and Christmas and do not expect anything from him. It is a big compromise from what I wanted and who I wanted him to be but a healthy one… It is well worth the process. God has healed me tremendously and the beauty from the ashes is that I see and know with all of me that God is with each of us and will help us. It’s priceless… A painful process but so worth it! God will be there for you. I know it from my own experience… Trust me on this.

  4. Thank you so much for this Jami! I’m a little embarrassed to admit how much I needed this, lol. Blessings!

  5. Wow! You know how you read something in the Bible multiple times and then it finally clicks? Today your insight helped me see what praying for your enemy truly means. Since Jesus prays blessings for me (the Beatitudes), I in turn can pray blessings over others.

  6. Thank you so much for your open honesty. You are identifying where I have been and what I have been experiencing. What a change! Looking for more freedom from our merciful God

  7. Thank you for sharing this with us all! We all struggle with bitterness at times and to spell out the formula for leaving it behind is priceless… You make a difference so hoping you will keep sharing!

  8. Jami,

    I had a co worker who was rigid in her ways & not always helpful. She was in the department before I was hired. She became jealous of me-all the while I was just doing my job && trying to help her out. One Tuesday night she quit suddenly. Leaving me to learn the job on my own. I was frustrated & upset at first. When I learned some things about her I began to pray for her. Asking God to bless her & give her a job more suited to her. It released any bitterness I may have had & gave me a sense of peace.

    Blessings 🙂

  9. Just read this for the 3rd time and journaled about it this morning as I struggle to be obedient. Praying for and blessing the person who has offended me is so hard. So much so I know I can’t do on my own, but I know my Father wants me to be free. Thank you for reminding me and I am grateful that God used this message right now so I can get on with my life being free in Him.