About the Author

Jennifer Dukes Lee is the author of several books, including Growing Slow. She and her husband live on the family farm, raising crops, pigs, and two humans. She’s a fan of dark chocolate, emojis, eighties music, bright lipstick, and Netflix binges. She wants to live life in such a way...

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
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(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
DaySpring.com
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Comments

  1. This made me smile. Thank you for sharing, Jennifer! 🙂

    “I could come into a room not as a fixer, advice-giver, critic, or anything other than a person who offers safe harbor to another soul.” – Amen to this. Amen. It reminds me of yesterday’s post which encourages us to simply sit with others! So much beauty and wisdom in this.

    Big hugs to you, your dear sister, and your entire family. May your dad’s soul continue to rest in peace.

    • Thank you so much, Bomi! It’s been a season of both deep heartache and rich remembrance. I wish you could have known my Dad in person. He was a wonderful man — and he still is! Someday I will introduce you in heaven. xo

  2. By the way, I was delighted to read a devotional you wrote on Our Daily Bread the other day! Blessings to you in all you do! Keep up the good work! 🙂

  3. Jennifer,
    Thank you for a truly heart-felt post. My father was “promoted to glory” in August- I love your phrasing here. I understand how hard it is for those left on Earth, but like you, I find great comfort in navigating it with other family members. I have a brother who lives six hours from me. He and his family came for two weeks when Dad passed. We all worked on arrangements and bequeaths together. Now I talk to my brother at least once a week on the phone- we didn’t stay in touch too often before. Last night we talked about my father’s twin brother who died as a newborn. My brother was speculating on the conversations the two were having after being reunited in Heaven. I look forward to these thought provoking insights from my brother. It’s definitely easier when you coregulate. Thanks for sharing

    • This is a beautiful example of co-regulating. And what a gift that your bonds have been strengthened, not just in the immediate time of need, as your Dad passed, but continuing on afterward. I love this.

  4. WOW! Thank you, Jennifer. This just might be the best thing I have read all week! Thank you for confirming something I have experienced but did not know it had a name. Now off to check on that book.

    • That means a lot, Mary. I know you read a lot of great content, so I don’t take this comment lightly. Thank you. And yes, I highly recommend the book. K.J. Ramsey is an exquisite writer and thinker. I have the book on audio and paperback. It’s one I will return to again and again.

  5. Jennifer, thank you for sharing this. I haven’t heard the word co-regulator before.
    “I could come into a room not as a fixer, advice-giver, critic, or anything other than a person who offers safe harbor to another soul.” – What a great thing for me to strive for – to be a safe place for one who is hurting.

  6. Jennifer, thanks for sharing this. You’ve given me a name for something my brother and I have done with four siblings and our mom. I’m grateful that we were able to be there for each of them. May God continue to bless you, your family and your work for His kingdom.

  7. Jennifer, I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve read many things you have written about your dad in the past. Praying for peace and comfort for you and your family.

  8. God’s richest blessings of comfort and peace to and for you Jennifer. This so reminded me of my dadda… who went home to be with our Lord and Savior 3 years ago, 10-18-19. He was on hospice, loved Wheel of Fortune and his brain, awareness, wisdom, memory was amazing right up to the end. He died 6 weeks shy of 100… and HE LOVED the Lord. Wrapping my arms around you. I KNOW how much your heart aches and longs to be with him and misses him. Praying you cherish the memories and love you shared and rejoice in His healing. God bless you!

  9. Thank you Jennifer ~ it brought delightful memories & then tears as I read that you wrote it to honour your dad.
    Blessings

  10. Jennifer, Awesome devotion that brought a smile to my face. Reminded me of me and my three siblings doing the same thing for our Dad and recently our Mom. They are so missed and we had the privilege and honor to take care of them when they needed us the most.

  11. Thank you Jennifer. This brought memories of my Dad who passed 19 years ago Oct. 14. The day he before he went to see Jesus he too said and did things that say with me today. Good memories of a loving Dad who I miss dearly and know he is with our Heavenly Father.

  12. I am so sorry you had to say good-bye-for-now to your wonderful dad. What a legacy of wisdom and joy he’s left to those who knew him. This post is beautifully poignant, heart-warming, and encouraging, Jennifer. With you, I want to be a co-regulator! Thank you for the practical tips to make that happen. I pray God’s blessings bring good cheer to you and your precious family, even as you grieve.

  13. Cactus flowers. What a simple and profound gift. No doubt Dad is smiling down on you now, friend, delighted that you and your sisters shared that moment with him and will continue to share moments of joy, sorrow, and deep support with one another.

  14. This is so lovely, Jennifer! I am a hospice volunteer and I also cared for my dad when he was passing away. I am generally on my own and was, even with my dad, for the most part. God has been with me, and often the patient has been a co-regulator with me. But what you speak of sounds wonderful! I hope to have this experience some day.

  15. Jennifer, I have said to too many people of late “even if we’re prepared to lose a loved one we are never ready!” Too many losses of parents in my circle of influence of late. My role of co-regulator didn’t have a name until today. Thank you for sharing your story. You have educated, & encouraged me greatly. I can tell your dad was well loved & I’m certain y’all learned it from him. What a great legacy he left with & in you! Grieve well sister!

  16. I made it over this morning to read the rest of the story. I loved it. Such a powerful thing presence is. My mom is in hospice. I so appreciate the empathy that your experience and writing of it gives me this day. Thank you, Jennifer.

  17. Jennifer,

    So sorry for the loss of your beloved dad. Thanking God for co-regulators & simple happy moments in between. You have given a name to something I have been for a few people. My hubby’s ex-mil & I were both going through aging parents trials at same time. After visiting dad in rehab one day I called to check on her. She had both dad & step-dad in hospital. I went to KFC & got a meal for her & her hubby. We often texted & prayed for each other. It helped us get through those rough times.

    When I hear of someone in hospital, sick or losses a loved one I make food for them & do my best to comfort them. I have lost both my parents years ago. The love shown me-especially by mu church-was immeasurable. Wanting to pay it back. Now I have the word to call it (Co-regulators).

    Blessings & ((((((((((Hugs))))))))))

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