About the Author

Kristen Strong, author of Back Roads to Belonging and Girl Meets Change, writes as a friend offering meaningful encouragement for each season of life so you can see it with hope instead of worry. She and her US Air Force veteran husband, David, have three children and live in Colorado...

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& you will too!
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Reader Interactions


  1. My 28 year old friendship with my best friend ended abruptly this January.

    I had covid and was upset about what I PERCEIVED an intrusion on my privacy ,when she announced it to other friends, without discussing it with me first!

    The break up was a long time coming, the Holy Spirit had spoken to my heart several times, but I kept reminding Him of who she was ,and I did my own thing!

    It was messy ,and exhausting and it finally came to a place where I FELT AS IF I was being used for what I COULD GIVE(MY TIME,MY IDEAS,MY PRAYERS),with none of the same in return.

    Then I fell ill, and it ALL came tumbling out in 1 big messy ball.!!

    I was lonely ,very lonely, thereafter, and I prayed to God to send me friends!

    He did!

    Old friends reconnected, new friendships rekindled ,and ignited into something that made my heart sing ,like the old days!…

    Trust the process,God will give you what you need, and when He does, its exactly what you wanted all the time.

    I’m forever grateful for the time and effort from my bestie, but I have new sisters now, and they need me ,in the same way I I need them.

    A new chapter to write, with new characters, and I’m soooo grateful to be able to do it with them ALL!

    • “Trust the process, God will give you what you need, and when He does, it’s exactly what you wanted all the time.” I love this, Pamela. And I love that you’re using a painful experience–the loss of a longtime friendship–to show us how God can have something very good waiting for us on the other side of something very hard. Thank you SO much for sharing here!!

  2. Needed to hear this today, as several close female relationships have changed. God continues to move women in and then out of my circle. I know it’s to make room in my life for new relationships, but the older I get, the harder it is.
    Thank you!!!

  3. Letting go of changing friendships and relationships is so hard for me, no matter the reason. I know it’s sometimes necessary, but I don’t like it. Thankfully, we never have to let go of our relationship with God, the one who gives life.

    • Well said–and good golly, do I ever relate to what you’ve shared here. Letting go of those changing friendships is hard for me, too, especially when it’s not my idea (ha). My friend, Salena Duffy, says that sometimes, rejection is God’s protection against what’s not in our best interest. That doesn’t make letting go automatically easier, but knowing this comforts me in the process.

  4. Thanks, Kristen! I’ve lost a whole group of friends recently. I’m not quite sure if it was the pandemic or the political climate. but I am no longer included in that group. It makes me sad, but I don’t know how to fix it. I will listen and wait for God’s leading.

    • I think that’s the wisest thing to do, Irene. And sometimes, I think we’re not going to be able to fix it because we only get to be in charge of our part in the relationship. But gosh, is that hard–when we want something to work, and all our prayers and try-hard efforts don’t bring the results we want. Like you said, during those times, all we can do is listen and wait for God’s direction as we keep our hearts open to the established and new friendships He directs us toward.

  5. Thank you for this beautiful way of showing us how to deal with friendships ending in a healthy way. This helps us all to live a godly fulfilling life.

  6. I’m fee!ing sad over the loss of a friendship. My husband died three years ago. This couple were our best friends but after my husband’s death, my friend just pulled away from me. We still talk once in a while but we aren’t close anymore.

    • I’m so sorry, Barbara–that must feel like loss upon loss. Psalm 119:58 says, “I entreat your favor with all my heart; be gracious to me according to your promise.” May the Lord give you an abundance of favor and grace regarding friendships old and new. xo

  7. Thank you Kristen. Beautiful timely message. My husband and I have some dear friends that are in a “blessed season” of new new grandbabies and retirement. We have grown apart. They are loved and missed, but our lives and “free time” are different.
    However, God has blessed with another couple from our church we’ve become very close with. We have similar “free time” and older grand children. We love to eat and adventure. We just click!
    Our memories of old are special and cherished and our new ones are too

    • I love the way you illustrate that we’re never “done” making friends–it’s always worth it to keep our hearts open to new ones. Hooray for friends that “click” with you! I know you bless them in big ways, too.

      Thanks for sharing here, Janet! xo

  8. I’m February my husband of 22 years left me. I lost my best friend that day. It is so painful, and yet I love him still and only want the best for him. A month later he was with a best friend of one of my female best friends, whom I’ve known well for years, and due to their relationship I lost them too. I am thanking God for the people in my life, and the new season I pray brings new friends. I pray for those who have hurt me so deeply whenever the Holy Spirit prompts me. Thank you for your article. It gave me space to grieve, yet recall the blessings of God.

    • Oh Melinda–I’m just so sorry for all the loss and pain you’ve experienced. The way you illustrate Luke 6:28 by praying for him and wanting the best for him…well, it testifies that Jesus is in your heart. May you sense His presence in undeniable ways, and may His grace and favor be upon you through life-giving friendships. Much love.

  9. Such wise advice, Kristen. Especially appreciated what you had to say concerning Truth #2: “It’s easy to look inward and think, What did I do wrong? Instead, look upward and assume that for now, God simply wants your attention elsewhere.” Amen to that!

  10. Kristen, your five encouragements are so good! There are a few tender places in my heart from friendships that changed significantly, and everything you offered extends grace and freedom. A good word, sweet friend <3.

  11. Kristen,

    In a few months my hubby & I plan on making a big change of churches. Our pastor of 18+ years is retiring. I’ve become really good friends with them. So it saddens me. God in His infinite wisdom already knew this & has given me some new friends. When Covid hit our church shut down for a while. During that time I attended my husband’s childhood church–much closer to home. I got a little involved with them & got to know them well. Starting January 2023 I will be attending that church. Trust God knows best for you.

    Blessings 🙂