About the Author

K.J. Ramsey is a trauma-informed licensed professional counselor and the author of This Too Shall Last and The Lord is My Courage. She is a recovering idealist who can’t stop offering space to see every part of our souls and stories as sacred.

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
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(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
DaySpring.com
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  1. It never ceases to shock me how some women treat each other. I have worked for several women in my capacity as a social worker, mental health clinician and school guidance counselor. They were the most wonderful, supportive people- all took a feminist approach to managing. I know some people get horrified at the word feminist, but for me it was life affirming. I may offend a lot of folks but I believe Jesus was a feminist. He was so compassionate, caring and there to heal wounds. I look at all the wonderful women in the bible who were so caring and loving. I pray that women the world over can realize that by supporting each other we also support others. The whole population is better when we are better to each other.

    • I experience word feminist as life-affirming too. I’m so grateful you have experienced support like this. There is just so much more room for us to bless each otherz

  2. We can get wonder by people who we thought would are should not wond us with their words. Woman can be the worst. They someone them will just speak their mind. Not stop think if I say this will it hurt the person. They have it said before they can have time to think I should not have said that. I know someone night up in the Church that hurt me. Even my Husband was in shock by what they said. Especially when they should have known better. I was only saying something to project them. I didn’t say anything wrong. I remember coming away hurt. I that day could have said something back to that women high up in the Church. Like I was only trying to project you and there was no need for the recation you gave with your words as they hurt me. I said what I said nicely to her in love. But I heard God say don’t say anything back to her. Pray and forgive her. I did that as something told me this person would never say sorry for what she said that day. That she go on to never think about it. So I moved on welcomed her back as my Sister in Jesus. That I was able to talk to her as if she did nothing wrong with her words. As if I had not forgive her and as God to help me forgive her and prayer for her. As it says in God’s word to forgive. I wouldn’t have been able to look at her with the Love of Jesus and talk to her again. As everytime I saw her it would have eaten me up. God would not want it to do that. I so glad I did that. I done the right thing in God eyes. Now I never forget it but it doesn’t annoy me like it did when it happened. So thank you very much k.j for this post. Love in my prayers all incourge Dawn Ferguson-Little xx

  3. “Male -dominated culture” and “capitalism” sound like the battle cry of feminism and socialism. While I connected with your writing and even noted some of you remarks for future reference, the tone of progressivism and social justice was off-putting. Sin nature is the basis for all mankind’s shortcomings and failures, not male domination and capitalism. We need Jesus and revival to change the world, not politics. You are a gifted writer and sister in Christ. I humbly offer my thoughts. Thank you.

  4. This is beautiful. And I understand it so well. It’s extremely painful when women hurt each other. “Our wounds can become welcoming spaces”- yes. There’s so much to unpack in this article, and much to think about. Thank you. Your words encourage me. Love following you.

  5. Thank you for sharing and for pointing out the lessons learnt
    I think that point you raised about women being competitive and then trying to outdo each other, or suddenly seeing the other person as a ‘competitor’ instead of a friend, changes the whole relationship. Instead of trust and transparency, there may be jealousy or fear of the other ‘friend’ being better and so instead of celebrating accomplishments and the friendship there can be a green eye of envy looking on.
    Its so uncalled for since God as said we are to do all things unto Him and to serve Him, so in the end we give an account to Him…if we keep a pure motive, we will serve Him and be glad for others who succeed and really celebrate their success…
    Also, I loved the way you showed how a new friendship formed out of the ashes, with two of you being able to trust each other, share honestly, have no competition but celebrate each others growth and success…its is as though something beautiful grew like a flower from the pain and wounds of several failed friendships.
    It shows God can bring good out of evil, and also you both chose to try to trust again with a true friend, and this friendship became a healing balm, which would make Gods heart glad as well, as He sees all our wounds and wants us to come through the trials and to be glad.
    Thanks for being so honest..
    You also shared that is a friendship feels unsafe or not right, there is probably something wrong and its God’s alert signal that all may not be well or go well in that friendship…so there is a time to depart and forgive and later let it go and learn from it..

  6. Be still now move was the first thing I read this morning. Each word spoke exactly where I am at in this thing called life. As I continue to read the next incourage me was welcome women through our wounds. This has totally describe the path that my life has been on. Hurt by friends & family. Trusting no one.living my life alone hoping I can trust God who I gave my life to in 1999.after losing my brother.in 2000 my Mother & a divorce after 20+ years of marriage. Just a little bit about my journey. I’m so overwhelmed with tears and how God just shown his present and love to me through the 2 writers stories.

  7. There are women who choose to do evil instead of good same as men. This has been true since the beginning. There are lots of examples in Bible. God encouragement for us to not follow that behavior.

  8. KJ,

    I, too, have a great woman friend. We can talk about anything & everything. She is my husband’s ex-MIL & we met at church. The wounds we shared were dealing with aging parents. We both spent years caregiving for our parents. It was refreshing to be able to lament to someone else. Also nice to be there for her & assist her with meals, etc. Praying all women can find a good female companion to share life’s ups & downs.

    Blessings 🙂

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