About the Author

Holley Gerth is a Wall Street Journal bestselling author, counselor, and life coach. Her newest release is The Powerful Purpose of Introverts: Why the World Needs You to Be You. She's also wife to Mark, Mom to Lovelle, and Nana to Eula and Clem.

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Reader Interactions


  1. What a powerful post this is! Thank you for your insights & practical advice, Holley. Bless you richly!

  2. Most excellent! I learned this principle as a RN supervisor, praying each morning as I drove to work, that the Lord would use me to be His tool in my job. I supervised 52 people, not easy!! They soon learned they could say anything they wanted to me–as long as it stayed in my office. They also learned that my response after they had let it all out, if a response was needed, would be Godly counsel. I worked for a State run institution–so I had to be careful. They respected me and I respected them–no matter what was said in my office. God guides very well.

  3. Wow! What a timely reality check. I so want to show Christ to others but so often just show ME. My “rightness”, my “wisdom”, and honestly, my lack of humility. Thank you for these seven words which point me on the path Jesus would have me take.

  4. This is such a practical every day, every person way to not only distress a situation, but also bring about peace to the people involved. Instead of blowing up, or simpering backward, This offers a way to engage without hurting the other person or breaking the bond that might be created or strengthened.
    Thank you so much for this insight during my Lenten quest of discerning Christ’ plan for me.

  5. Oh my gosh this is actually just so profound….. I struggle so much with my relationship with my dad and am constantly trying to think of new ways of communication with him – I am absolutely going to use these two questions and see how it changes the dynamic of the conversation.

  6. That one word prayer “Help,” is a huge game-changer as well. Acknowledging that He has all the answers, the correct “position” not us.

  7. These are much-needed words of wisdom and guidance, for me and others (I shared your post with my adult daughter). Now to put this into practice. Old habits and mindsets die hard. I have such a far way to go still. Thank you for these two questions. May they be used wisely and laced with God’s grace.

  8. Thank you, Holley!

    I’m not good at confrontation so I tend to avoid it when I need to be braver and able to cautiously and wisely (hopefully) express my side without fearing a blow up, so I think your advice today will go a long way to help when these occasions occur.

  9. Oh Holley, how profound are your words. I once read a story about a woman going through difficult times and her answer to a question about how she endured was “For this there is Jesus.”
    When we cry out for Help! His answer is always I am here.
    Thank you and bless you

  10. Hello

    Every time I read one of these
    “In courage.me” I say to myself
    How can these get any better!
    Wonderful Words to think
    Thank You All

  11. Wow, Great Insight. This something I’m going to my best to incorporate into my relationships.

  12. Holley,

    Great post once again~ Our world is becoming so divisive. It seems we all have an opinion on topics like Covid vaccine, President Biden guns, etc. Each think they have the right answers & we are all clamoring to voice our opinions. What we need to do is stop & listen to each other. Don’t judge or cut people off mid sentence. In order to show this world more Jesus we need to stay calm, pray for guidance from God & as those two important questions Can you help me understand? What Else? Truly everyone just wants to be seen & heard. To get their side of the story out in the open.

    Blessings 🙂

  13. So simple, and yet so profound. At 85 years old, I’m still learning!
    Thank you Lord. Thank you Holley!