When I was a little girl, I dreamed of living somewhere quiet, beautiful, and spacious. But other than my walk to and from school along a concrete sidewalk, I didn’t spend much time outdoors. I think that’s why I loved watching the TV show Little House on the Prairie, imagining life in the woods as Laura Ingalls, skipping among the open fields, trees, and creeks.
I didn’t grow up like that. I grew up in an eight-hundred-square-foot duplex in the middle of a busy intersection in Silicon Valley. I didn’t grow up with a pa at home, and my ma was not was like Mrs. Ingalls.
I got used to being the good girl, the responsible one, who didn’t want to cause any trouble. But by always wanting to make sure everyone else was doing okay, it was easier for me to ignore my heart and put my needs to the side.
But when I was in fifth grade, I had an experience that God used to let me know my heart was not invisible to Him: I got to go on my first ever hike! It was the year our class went to science camp. I boarded a big, yellow school bus, lugging a sleeping bag borrowed from my aunt, with my pillow rolled in, like pigs in a blanket, and I headed for the big redwood trees in the mountains.
When I jumped off the bus, I felt what half-pint Laura Ingalls might have felt — happy, free. I looked up at the trees and felt small and safe. Even the air smelled different. I could breathe.
Our camp counselors said the big event was the night hike. We gathered at the trailhead after sunset, hyped with adrenaline. But everyone fell stone silent once we learned we’d be sent hiking alone from point A to point B — in the dark.
We were told to walk quietly, but if we got scared, all we needed to do was to call out. Camp counselors stationed at different points along the trail would help us.
That night was one of the most beautiful nights I have ever experienced. The light foliage felt like a soft carpet on the trail. I wasn’t afraid. The stars glimmered between the lattice rooftops of the redwoods.
The deeper I journeyed into the trail, something beautiful and unexpected happened: I began to see in the dark. I realized that when I knew someone was there to help me, I no longer felt overwhelmed or alone.
Looking back today, I’m reminded of what the psalmist whispered to God,
If I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there . . .
your right hand will hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
Psalm 139:11-13 (NIV)
That experience of walking in the dark on the hike helped me learn that when we’re not able to see what’s ahead of us and feel overwhelmed, God’s love can light the way for us.
God’s love is like a light in the darkness that helps us feel comforted, calmed, and no longer overwhelmed.
Nothing in life — no stress, confusion or overwhelming troubles — can keep God’s goodness from us. God can see us in the dark, and His voice is our light. His voice of love whispers to us, “Lean into me. Let me love you. Confide in me.” As we listen, our spiritual eyes adjust, and we begin to see the beauty of the journey we’re on.
In life, we will not always know the way, but the God who loves you not only knows the way but intimately knows your way.
Does the path in front of you look dark and scary? God’s love and His Word can light the way ahead. If you’re feeling overwhelmed with uncertainty or feeling stuck where you’re at, hear God’s whisper to you:
Beloved, I see you. I won’t leave or forsake you. Call out for me, and I’ll take your hand. I’ll turn the darkness into a place of rest, lit by my love for you.
One practical way to chase away the darkness is this soul care tip: intentionally write down God’s promises from Scripture. His Word is a lamp for our feet and a light on our path (Psalm 119:105). This month, instead of a gratitude list, I’ve decided to keep track of God’s love notes from Scripture. One of my favorites is James 4:8, “Come near to God and he will come near to you.” God’s promises give us a reason to light up, so when we’re feeling overwhelmed, we can mediate on His Word and let it guide us to where we need to go.
Thank you, Jesus, for walking with me, even in the dark. Give me eyes to see You now, so I can lean into You. Help me call out to You when I can’t see what’s ahead, and teach me to walk as Your beloved today. Amen.
Susie P. says
I love your story about walking in the woods on the trail and you were not afraid because you KNEW someone was there to help you along the way if you needed help.
Such a wonderful scenario to think how our Heavenly Father is always there for us.
Thank you for sharing,
Susie P.
Bonnie Gray says
Thank you, Susie – for taking time to share your thoughts this beloved Sabbath morning together! It’s a beautiful feeling that fills my heart imagining our Heavenly Father touching your heart with this message. For He is loving you this very moment. have a beautiful day in that quiet place of love with God, sister!
Ruth Mills says
What a great illustration of a spiritual truth! I can only believe as you write your list of God’s love notes your gratitude list will grow exponentially! What a wonderful idea! Blessings upon blessings!
Bonnie Gray says
You’re right, beautiful Ruth — my heart fills with the light of God’s loving presence with each remembrance of His Loving Word! I can tell you are a kindred spirit and your heart is lighting up at the mention of God’s love notes for you! Blessings upon blessing to you too, dear sister!
Beth Williams says
Bonnie,
Just love your writing. Life can feel overwhelming sometimes. You don’t know which way to go. It is in those times that our loving Father God gently guides our steps. He is there in those dark times to help & care for you. Don’t know what I would have done without Jesus during my dad’s gero psych hospitalization. I was scared & unsure of what to do. Cried many times in hospital lobby. In the end God healed him & gave him back to me better than before.
Back in November they shut my unit down at hospital. I wasn’t sure where I would end up working–even if they would keep me (part-time clerical). Once again God shows up. This time He chooses to bless the socks off me. He put me in a Covid ICU unit. I learned to assemble IV tubing with 4 extensions. Making them often. The boss was so impressed she posted a fulltime job for me. I applied & now work there.
Don’t let life get you down. Trust in Almighty God. He will always light the way for you. He is there right beside you every step of the way.
Blessings 🙂
Bonnie Gray says
wow!! What a testimony!! Praise God! Thank you for sharing beloved Beth!!
Gail says
This is beautiful and I needed to hear it this morning. I love Bonnie’s heart and spirit. Writing God’s promises is excellent! Thank you.
Bonnie Gray says
Beloved Gail, may you feel the tender touch of our Loving Savior folding his hand into yours. For He is. You are so beloved. I invite you join me on Instagram at @thebonniegray or on Faebook @thebonniegray — as I share God’s promises to encourage everyone! I hope it refreshes your soul!
Kellie Johnson says
I love the idea of keeping a list of God’s love notes. That is a gratitude list in itself.
Kellie
Bonnie Gray says
yes, Kellie! it is a wonderful version of a gratitude list — that’s like collecting jewels in our pockets, picking up God’s promises! thank you for taking time to slip this love note to us here in our beloved community! Appreciate you!
arian says
ack! i grew up in Modesto (in the 80s) and went to Outdoor Ed in Sonora as a 6th grader and sooo remember that night hike. it was so exhilarating. all my experiences with camps as a kid/teenager in the Sierra Foothills greatly affected me and after high school i lived in OR and now i live in CO, always near pine trees and mountains. 🙂
Bonnie Gray says
It’s unforgettable — that moment on the night hike, huh? 🙂 Arian, I love that the 6th grader in you was here as you read today’s devotional! Thank you so much for sharing — God’s beauty touches us so deeply in nature that even. now, it’s still fresh!! thank you for hsaring such a beloved set of memories of 6th grade you, OR and CO mountains!! we’re kindred spirits for sure, sister!
Catherine says
This is just what I needed to read today! Thank you so much!
kimmieg says
Our son moved in with friends last night. He’s almost 20 and needs some independence. I get that but I’m scared….for him…of change…God’s got this. I know that in my heart but my brain doesn’t.
Becky Keife says
Bonnie, I love this story so much! What a gift of love from the Father to you as a little girl. And this: “In life, we will not always know the way, but the God who loves you not only knows the way but intimately knows your way.” Amen! Thank you, dear friend.
Bonnie Gray says
My heart lights up with beauty and peace imagining Our Lord Jesus is right there, by our side, with a gentle smile on His face — I love walking alongisde this trail of faith together! We are seated in the heavenlies together with Jesus by our side!! Love you, sweet Becky!
Valerie Foster says
This was most helpful. Thank you, Bonnie! Going through cancer treatment now, and I never know what is around the next corner, but to think of leaning into Christ and letting his voice guide me brings much comfort.
Laurie Hawkins says
Thank you for posting this today it is exactly what I need because I am having an operation tomorrow.
Mia Herne says
So good ! The more I read the more I realized God knew I needed this reminder. Now to return with a journal or notebook !
Thank You Bonnie for being a vessel that God is using to make a difference . Mia
Loretta says
I am overwhelmed by this truth!!!
Thank you for your thoughts and revelations regarding fear and how we can use it to bring us closer to the throne. More importantly how God uses it to teach us. So important to lean on truth and not someone else’s ideas of truth bless you!!!
Zigrid Larsen says
Your writing style illuminated the scene in the dark to my mind ! I could almost smell the dampness of the nearby foliage ! Even greater was how the Holy Spirit spoke through your words to comfort and reassure my heart knowing Jesus , the Light in the darkness, is always near. Bless you!
Donna Nix says
Bonnie, you always write such inspiring words. The mental pictures are so real and moving.
You bless with your gift and journey! Praying God continues to bless you and your “guys”,
❤️
Donna Nix
Penny Benstead says
I really needed to read this tonight, What a hard time I’ve been having feeling so alone. Thank you for sharing.
May says
The path ahead for my youngest son is a path I wished he rather not partake. My son who is 21 years old decided that he and his girlfriend are moving in together and for my husband and I, growing up as Christians, we know this is not what God desires of us to do. Although we can’t tell him what to do since he is a grown adult, we have expressed our thoughts on this decision and where we stand on this. We understand that we won’t always agree with his decisions and we love him and we pray he will feel God’s tug on his heart, to change his mind, to be reminded of God’s words of truth for us. We’ve never dealt with this before and clearly don’t know what to do. Trusting in God continually even when we can’t understand.
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Bonnie I love your reading today. I used to watch the Little House on the Prairie. When I was small. Like you. I loved it. But didn’t like the end to much. When they all say goodnight to either. Like good night John boy. Then the programme would be over. I be sad as they all go to sleep. I love the love and care they had for either. They help either. That showed they cared and loved either. They always sat down to eat together as family. Showing more love. Some families today don’t do that. Kids eat at one time. Parents another. The Mother of the house cooking different meals. That sad. As in the Little House On The Prairie they all eat the same food at the same time. They sat at table at the same. Enjoyed eithers company. They spent time talking to either showing love at the table. Not like some kids today. That sad. Then as I got older thought they must have done that to show they care about either and wanted to show love to either have time for either. When eating at table together. One same meal for all. They never Didn’t forget to say Goodnight to either. To show they also loved either too. Call either by their names. God showed me. I know you by name. I say to you Goodnight Dawn. When you fall asleep. I keep you safe letting you know I care. Until you wake the next day to enjoy another day in my beautiful world. It because of my love and care for you that I watch over you at night and during the day. I find my saying God thank you for waking me up to enjoy another day in your beautiful world. All thoes point I said taught me alot. In The Little House On the Prairie. That sitting at the table eating the same meal. Taking together showing love very important. God would want us to do that. No feel overwhelmed why we don’t do that. As we look back one day something happens. Or someone passes. We say why didn’t I make time to show love. Not feel overwhelmed. Why did we not spend more time together. That is so true. Now is the time to do. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx In my prayers.
Karen Scripture says
Thank you Bonnie. Keep sharing your story, it glorifies God and helps others!
karyn j says
i love this! thank you for sharing and it is so beautifully written.