About the Author

Kaitlyn is a Virtual Assistant, book launch manager, and storyteller who writes about discovering God's goodness in the ordinary and faithfulness in the difficult. She loves good books, deep conversations, and iced vanilla lattes. Kaitlyn is the author of Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between.

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  1. “We all just want to be seen, known, wanted & loved” indeed! What a gift that while Jesus meets each & every one of those desires He also uses others to do it. Thank you The 3 in 1!!!

  2. What you said is so very true!!! If we are alone for whatever reason, the smallest thing anyone does can change our whole day.
    We, of course, are never really alone because we have God–yes the 3 in one God head. That is a wondrous thing!!! Often in my quite time in the mornings, I tell God I need to feel you — physically. There have been times that I have felt “hands” on my shoulders when I have felt I just could not face the day; not because i am alone, but because I have a chronic disease that takes all the strength I have to keep it stable. God knows all this and He is so merciful and good. Yes, we need other people in our lives that love and care for us. I have been very blessed with wonderful Christian friends and a Church that live out its mission!!!

    • Thank you for mentioning the phrase’ I felt hands on my shoulders’. This is so comforting and we all need that comfort and support at times. Beautifully said

  3. YES Kaitlyn!!! Young or old and whatever the circumstances that brought us to being in the situation, it is so important to reach out. Finding myself a widow after 40 years of marriage was shocking at first but I was embraced by other widows at my church (both those widowed a long time and a couple not so long) and it was my saving grace. We need to know others are there and a call or a text does so much for me. I now do daily check in calls or text with some of my neighbors. We are seen!

  4. Both of our daughters were married in their early thirties and something that helped them a lot in their single years was they both had mentors in their church. An older lady or couple that stayed in touch with them, met them for coffee or went out to eat, and made themselves available. That meant a lot to them. And, they stayed active with friends and family.

    I remember one of them reminding me to pray for her desire to get married, and she said, “Mom, are you still praying for me and getting married if it’s God’s will?” and I told her I was. She said, “Would you kick that up a notch?” We laughed and I said I would.

    Not long after that she said, “I’ve got my eye on someone. Keep praying!” Two months later she asked him for coffee. Then, he asked her for a date. They are married now. They were married the week covid put us in lockdown. They didn’t get to have their big wedding or reception. They didn’t get to go on the honeymoon they planned. They both ended up working at home, so they went from being two single people in separate apartments to being married, at home, and together 24/7. But very happy and thankful God had brought them together.

  5. This is really good, Kaitlyn! (And your spelling for Kaitlyn is my favorite!) Remembering to include single friends is important for sure. I will reach out to more of mine more often. Because of you.

  6. Kaitlyn, we are all better because you’re here. Thank you for your tender honesty and encouragement. Yes. We all just want to be seen. May we each find a way to intentionally do that for another today.

  7. Single until 38, I affirm your words. Sweet married friends who included me in their daily lives—dinners, kids bday parties, Saturday errands…they were such a gift. They modeled what “real life marriage looked like—the good and the really hard. And my would-be husband had to pass inspection by my best friend AND her husband!!

  8. Kaitlyn,

    God has a lot to say about being there for each other. Genesis 2:18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” Ecclesiastes 4:9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. God purposely made us for community. He expects us to be there for one another. We can love single people the same way we do others. Simply call, text or email them a note saying “hey just thinking about you.” “How are you doing?” “Want to grab coffee/tea?” My pastor’s wife has a good example. When holidays come she invites all the single or those by themselves that day to her house for pot luck dinner. It is a good way to be with others & share life. It is just about making them feel seen & loved.

    Blessings 🙂

  9. I am an aged widow,and yes at times I do feel lonely, and would enjoy someone calling me. But then it gives me a chance to ring up someone else who is possibly feeling lonely, and cheer both up at the same time.

  10. As someone who is single and not necessarily happy about it, this article spoke to me very personally.

    I’ve had friends drift away due to major changes in their life circumstances, like marriage, kids etc. And it can be quite painful. The only person who is a part of my daily routine is me. Sometimes I enjoy this, but other times it can feel quite lonely.

    Nevertheless, I’m using this season to develop a deeper relationship with God. He may not be a voice that I can physically hear or a shoulder that I can physically lean on. But He’s THERE. It really is as simple as that.

  11. This is beautiful! Thank you! As a single person, I appreciate being seen as I am. I love God, but God does not help with cabinets, fixing my car, helping with bills or housework. I would love to share my love and life with someone who needs me too. It’s not helpful to be told to simply put God first. That actually hurts more than helps. I love myself and I love God but the reality is that life is harder alone. God created us for partnership and love and family.
    I will remember this!