I was in that place where women go on the weekend to get their hair cut and colored, to cover the roots and dye the grays, to primp the curls and straighten the strands — the salon.
I was sitting there, scrolling mindlessly on my phone, when a woman came and sat in the empty chair next to me. She mumbled something under her breath and made motions with her hands. She spoke louder and then louder again. I couldn’t tell if she was talking to me or to someone else or if she was just speaking into the air.
So I ignored her and kept scrolling mindlessly on my phone.
I was tired, and I didn’t want conversation. I didn’t even want eye contact. I just wanted to get in and get out, just wanted to get my hair cut and be on my way. But the woman wouldn’t stop mumbling under her breath and pointing at all the other women and young girls in the salon.
So I listened. I looked away from my phone and paid attention to what she was saying.
“Her hair is so nice,” she said. “And just look at her over there — all you ladies are so beautiful, just beautiful.”
She pointed to a woman down the row and to a young girl sitting next to me.
“Just beautiful hair,” she said. “Everyone here has beautiful hair.” Then she finally slid into her chair and sat down to wait for her hair to be washed.
I caught a glance of her, noticing her long, gray hair and bronze skin, matured with wrinkles — map lines that told the story of her journey.
She was beautiful. She had nice hair.
And not only did she beam with beauty on the outside, but her eyes twinkled with a truth that came from deep, deep within.
Saturdays at the salon are sacred, is what she was saying. It’s where women and young girls gather together, all bearing bare faces and bare beauty. It’s a sacred place where they show up with their hair undone, unkempt, unruly, showing off every kink and curl and pin-straight strand. It’s where they sit, vulnerable, at the hands of another, who will wash the dry scalp and dirty hair. It’s where they expose the true texture of their hair — all the thickness and the thinning out, all the bald spots and every ringlet that’s been called bad.
When it was my turn, my hairdresser tapped me on the shoulder. She motioned for me to come and sit in her chair. Then she unwrapped the towel covering my hair and ran her fingers through my thick mane. She dried my hair, pulling a bristle brush through it, section by bulky section.
“I am beautiful,” I thought to myself. “Even now, in the middle of maintaining my mane.”
I smiled underneath my mask, looking around at all the other women and young girls. In my mind, I heard the echoes: Everyone here has beautiful hair. Everyone here has beautiful hair . . .
The truth about Saturdays (or Mondays or Wednesdays or Fridays) at the salon is that we are not only beautiful but we are also beloved and we belong.
God looks at each one of us and sees and loves everything about us — the width of our hips, the height of our body, the texture of our hair, the tone of our skin, the length of our eyelashes, the swell of our curves.
God cannot help but stand and point and shout and tell us that we are beautiful, just like that woman at the salon. He is always muttering and mumbling with His breath in our ears that we are His beloved and that we belong to Him, just as we are.
You may (or may not) be well into your New Year’s resolutions by now. You might have cut and colored your hair, stepped out in style, bought the bag or purchased the purse. You might be drinking more water and eating more vegetables. You might be moving your body more or counting your steps.
But, beloved, don’t forget that you are beautiful in your bareness. Don’t forget that you belong, just as you are. On the days or weeks or months when you feel like you are showing up undone, unkempt, and unruly, know that you do not have to primp and perfect yourself to be accepted and loved by others.
You do not have to primp and perfect yourself to be accepted and loved by God.
You can come and sit, with all your color and culture, all your hair texture and taste in style that makes you who you are. Without looking around to compare, without looking around to compete, you can come and be.
And in this season, if you are already comfortable showing up as you are, then perhaps look up from scrolling mindlessly on your phone. Look up to see and call out the beauty and belovedness of others. Make every space that you are in sacred by speaking words that reflect our Father’s loving embrace: Just look at her over there — all of you are so beautiful.
Just beautiful.
Leave a Comment
Liliana says
Wow! Beautiful! I would never see being at the salon the same way. Thank you!
Rachel Marie Kang says
Neither will I! May we always see this truth!
Kathleen Burkinshaw says
Thank you so much. I needed to read your words today. Pain(physical and emotional)has engulfed me making it hard to see any beauty in me or in the world around me. Your words here today are not just a reminder, but also a hug for my soul. God bless.
CJ says
Thank you for saying this Kathleen. I feel the same way. Have a beautiful blessed day.
Kathleen Burkinshaw says
And to you as well CJ ❤
Rachel Marie Kang says
You are so lovely and loved, CJ. May reminders of grace meet you where you are <33
Rachel Marie Kang says
Oh, Kathleen — you are so seen. And you are so lovely and loved, no matter what you wake to and walk through. You are beautiful, sister. May the reminders keep coming…
Vonni says
I’ve been a hairdresser for 40 years. I’ve seen this over and over again. Thank you for putting it into words.
Sadie says
Me too! I loved how the women were regrouped in their minds and spirits as we’d say goodbye and book the next 4-6 week appointment, knowing we would catch up on life! And also had more love and care in some of those women than I would have dreamed! Beatrice who just passed away at 96 years old has been with me since I met her myself being 23!! God’s amazing grace
Thanks for a reminder and great post
Blessings today to and through you❤️
Rachel Marie Kang says
Sadie, thank you for the work you do. The salon is a sacred place—and you help (and hear) women feel seen and loved. And that is the work of God <33
Rachel Marie Kang says
Vonni, you and other hairdressers are conduits of God’s love and beauty. Thank you for the artful and powerful work you do.
Noreen Whittemore says
I am struggling, really struggling, with s some extra pounds as a result of a severe back injury and being immobile; yet, l am beautiful! To the Father of all creation, to the God of the universe, to the holy one who sent His Son to die on a cross for my sins!!!!
Thank you for these lovely thoughts; my Father He who knows and loves me the very best, loves me as well in this season of my life, and will lift me up regardless, to shine for His glory!!
Rachel Marie Kang says
Noreen, I hear your heart. I’m living with a new diagnosis, which has changed my body and added pounds to the weight and the way I feel. I’m learning how to love myself as I (newly) am, and learning to believe that God still loves me—that his love or thoughts towards me haven’t changed. May reminders of grace meet you where you are. You are lovely and you are loved.
Brenda M. Russell says
Thank you, thank you, and thank you even more !
This is just what all females need. Every day we look into our mirrors and see someone who is lacking this that or the other. We belong to God and He is the only One who loves us unconditionally. Glory to the name of Jesus.
I know that I love sweet babies. All of them are gifts from God. We know that each mother who is healthy emotionally loves her baby. No matter the color of hair or lack of hair, the eyes or cute little nose. So just like we adored our children, God loves us as we mature. We gain weight (childbirth), we frown sometimes (we burned the beans), we look of into the distance (an unexpected bill), and we oversleep on the game day (stayed up late baking cookies) and then we take a sigh of relief and start over again.
So, young ladies please be sweet, kind and gentle to others and that includes yourself. I had to learn that the hard way. You will not look the same from year to year or every ten years. You will mature in many ways. Pray for God’s Wisdom, Discernment, Patience, Strength, and Loving Kindness along with Forgiveness. This is what I pray for as I mature.
God bless all you intelligent, creative, beautiful and beloved daughters of the One True Living God.
Brenda
Rachel Marie Kang says
Amen, amen, Brenda. Sometimes we don’t even look the same week to week. Thank you for that reminder to extend kindness and grace to ourselves. We are loved more than we can imagine. (And so are you, Brenda!)
Mary Lynn says
I LOVE this !! I will definitely share this with others.
Rachel Marie Kang says
Thank you, Mary! You are beautiful!
Kathy Cheek says
Thank you for sharing this beautiful affirming story that reminds us to see the beauty in others and ourselves. Wish we could thank the lady who showed us the way by affirming the beauty of the ladies in the salon!
Rachel Marie Kang says
Yes! We can perpetuate her kindness by telling the women we encounter anywhere that they are beautiful and loved! Let’s make it a movement : )
Dorina says
So poetic and beautiful, friend. I’m savoring these words: “Make every space that you are in sacred by speaking words that reflect our Father’s loving embrace: Just look at her over there — all of you are so beautiful.”
Rachel Marie Kang says
Whenever I see photos of you, I think of how beautiful you are. Can’t wait to hug your neck, my friend!
Maura says
One good thing that has happened over the past 2 pandemic years is since choosing to wear a mask, I haven’t worn any makeup. What a freeing experience. It’s made me realize that I don’t need to cover up who I am. My dark spots are there because I have played outside in the sun. My wrinkles are a testament to having lived 57 years of a blessed life and grown my soul. So since I am beloved by my Creator, I will go forward and choose to embrace what he sees in me. Not what the world says are flaws.
Rachel Marie Kang says
Oh Maura—this is a beautiful truth. And you are beautiful, too. Thank you for sharing. Our bare skin, the years that age us, the work that wears us down—through it all he looks at us and sees his beloved daughters. Amen, amen.
Ruth Mills says
Since my standing haircut is 7:30 am before work, just me & my stylist no others to encourage but I’m inspired to be the woman speaking words of truth & beauty to others around me wherever we r! Speaking clearly so God’s good word is heard!
Rachel Marie Kang says
Amen amen—and may that encouragement extend to your hairdresser and even beyond the walls of the salon! You are beautiful and beloved, Ruth—may reminders of grace meet you right where you are!
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Rachel thank you for that. What matter in life is how God see us all. The world would have us try look one way. But to God we are beautiful. Wart’s and all. As the saying goes. You know God knows all about us. He knows the very hairs on our heads. How amazing is that. If you go to YouTube. Type in the Father love letter. It will tell us the truth of what God thinks of us it is Amazing. He new us even before we born. He knit us in our Mothers womb. Amazing. So all thoes hair styles and different colours in the Hair dresser and the people behind them. God loves. Just like he loves me and you. So we have amazing God. We are beautiful and loved no matter what. We don’t need to go to hairdresser to get our hair done. In God eyes he will think no less of us only beautiful. God will not love us any less even if we don’t get our hair done. You can never stop God loving you. His word the Bible tell us that. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh. N.Ireland.
Xxx
Rachel Marie Kang says
Amen, Dawn. So true. And I just thought of that this morning, too. God knows the hair on our heads, knows the coming and going of every little sparrow. He loves us so. Even as we are. Amen, amen. May reminders of grace meet you where you are, today and this week <333
Becky Keife says
” Look up to see and call out the beauty and belovedness of others. Make every space that you are in sacred by speaking words that reflect our Father’s loving embrace: Just look at her over there — all of you are so beautiful.” You’ve given me a deep exhale this morning. Wow. Thank you for calling out the beauty in each of us! And indeed, as God’s image-bearers, His beloved daughters, we are beautiful!
Rachel Marie Kang says
You, Becky, are beautiful. Thank you for cultivating this communing where we all get to see and say the same about others, too. Grateful for you <33
Dawn says
Thank you so much for this one. I needed it. I have gained a lot of weight over the past year and have been struggling with body image because of it. This reminded me that it’s all about the light we carry on the inside not how we or others perceive our outward image.
Rachel Marie Kang says
I have gained weight too, Dawn, due to a health condition that makes it hard for me to control that. Learning to find freedom in this earthly jar, and trusting the God who loves me as I am. I wish the same for you <33
Donna says
I love this
Rachel Marie Kang says
So glad this resonated, Donna <33
ELMorehead says
One of things I’m really looking forward too in Heaven, is finally “Seeing” everyone as God does. That is often my prayer. But I still see others, with filters: fat, thin, appealing, ugly, stinky, dirty, good, bad, etc…though I don’t want to.
Rachel Marie Kang says
I truly, truly look forward to that too—I think about this, often, and envision as much as I can. Amen to this coming to fruition. Until then, we do and love our best. Amen.
Beth Williams says
Marie,
There have been times in life when I felt I needed to “primp” even before going to town. As I’ve aged I take this song to heart “Just as I am”. Now I’m able to go to town without make up or fancy clothes. Jesus loves me no matter how I look or what I do. Knowing this I do my best to let others hear it. Daily I strive to speak words of affirmation over others. Letting them know they are noticed & loved-just for who they are.
Blessings 🙂
Rachel Marie Kang says
I love this so much, Beth. May that confidence and comfort continue on and on. Thanks for sharing—you are beautiful and beloved!
Tabitha says
“”………..the width of our hips, the height of our body, the texture of our hair, the tone of our skin, the length of our eyelashes, the swell of our curves.””
What about the narrowness of our waistlines, and the skin showing off our ribs. And the way our hip bones stick out when we walk.
Width, Swell, Curves.
It hurts me to see descriptive words like that and yet feel so left out.
Please inlcude us skinny people too
Rachel Marie Kang says
Oh Tabitha, I didn’t mean to exclude anyone. I’m so sorry you felt left out of this piece, along with others. I wrote these lines so that any of us could insert ourselves within them. Your hips may be slim, small, straight (mine have always been straight), or curvy—no matter what, sweet sister, you are beautiful and so loved. Wishing you reminders of love and grace today, Tabitha <33
Lois Hastings says
Thank you for this really sweet thought, shared in the story form of ladies visiting at the Salon. Encouraging.
Rachel Marie Kang says
Amen, you are welcome. You are beautiful and beloved, Lois!