When I was a little girl, my dad shared some life-long wisdom with me. He told me, “What is meant for you will be for you.” He was referring to the times I auditioned, tried out, or went for something — cheerleading, a role in a play, a win on the track — but fell short of my goal. He assured me that not making it was okay because perhaps that particular thing wasn’t meant for me, that what was meant specifically for me would still be waiting, holding space for me. As a child, my dad’s wisdom softened the sting of all the rejections I would experience in life.
He taught me to see rejection not as a closed door but as a nudge in a more specific direction. In high school, when I didn’t make the cheerleading squad, I was disappointed. But my dad’s encouragement did not allow me to digest the missed mark as an indictment or judgment of my capability. Instead, I considered it as being invited to a moment, an event, or an opportunity of which I was not currently aware. I learned to see rejection as a force drawing me towards a space where I belonged. However, it’s not easy to dust off disappointment to focus on an invitation to an unknown.
As I grew up and matured in my understanding of God, I realized that my dad’s wisdom resonated with God’s character. Essentially, it is because of who God is, that I can confidently peer past disappointment to push toward discovering an opportunity that awaits me.
And what do I know about God?
The Old Testament prophet, Jeremiah, wrote a letter of encouragement to the Israelites who were in exile. He shared with them God’s words: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11). Through Jeremiah, God revealed that the Israelites could trust He had a greater plan in place for them. And although their situation felt bleak, they could hold on to hope because He wanted them to flourish, not fail. I can’t count the number of times I have felt the devastation of rejection, but knowing that God wants me to thrive, not die on the vine, has inspired me to pick myself up and look for the promised plan.
Then, in the New Testament, the apostle Paul, wrote to the Christians in Rome who were facing persecution, “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31). Similar to Jeremiah’s revelation of God, Paul was helping the early Christians understand that though they experienced adversity, God was their Ultimate Defender. They could trust in God’s authority, so much so that they could respond to hate with love! I think we can agree that returning love for hate is evidence of true trust in God’s intentions. I remember being devastated when a leader I admired believed lies about me and thus planned to thwart my progress. But God had put me on that particular path to thrive, so her plan to block my path failed. Despite her position and perceived power, God progressed and prospered me.
Over the years, I have experienced rejection in all types of ways. However, because of who God is, I have learned that each closed door ushers me towards doors designed to welcome me. Though I did not make the cheerleading squad in high school, I earned a spot on the school’s new flag team, where I grew as a creative and as a leader. I received rejection letters from three universities when I applied to their doctoral programs. However, I was available when I was extended an invitation to apply for a doctoral program in Curriculum and Instruction, where I experienced the most fulfilling study of my college tenure. And five years ago, I was told no when I asked a church leader to incorporate my racial healing curriculum into the small group study teaching rotations. Her no invited me to create and build an entire education platform online, which has now hosted numerous courses and thousands of learners — far greater than a few small groups.
I am extremely grateful that while I was young, my dad shared God’s truths with me: What is meant for me will be for me. I don’t have to worry about missing out on an opportunity or be anxious about someone taking something that “belongs” to me. I’ve learned to trust that God wants me to flourish and thrive and protects the plans He has for me. Therefore, I don’t have to take rejection personally. I don’t have to dedicate significant energy and time to figuring out how to recover. I simply get to rest in the hope that rejection invites me to a clearer, more focused direction towards that which has been designed and orchestrated specifically for me.
As you face rejections, closed doors, and “missed” opportunities, may you know that God has a plan for you, goes before you, and has your back.
Lisa Barnett says
When I was rejected in my past, I used to think … “what’s wrong with me?” Now I see it as God’s protection from a path that was not meant for me to go! ❤️
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Lisa!
I believe so! God has a plan for you, goes before you, and has your back. In the meantime, we get to learn how to walk in peace. Sometimes, the peace walk is more challenging that other’s.
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Ruth Mills says
My parents weren’t as succinct as your dad but they taught us that same truth. When those disappointing rejections come not only do I get to lean into the hope & expectation of something better for me, I get to experience God as the Comforter too walking with me thru the pain of disappointment. I like your dad’s eloquence! Thanks for sharing. Blessings!
Lucretia Berry says
Isn’t that the truth, Ruth!! Sorry, I couldn’t help myself 😉
God has a plan for you, goes before you, and has your back. In the meantime, we get to learn how to walk in peace.
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
BB says
As a family we’ve had many transitions in the past 10years.
Some absolutely painful but God in His mercy hasn’t left us! He leads even when we can see…
As your Dad said whatever is meant for you…will be in your life! In every case we can see his Hand because of trusting His heart is “For us”! I shared with my husband & 3 guys! My oldest in college has had aggressive treatment for Crohns past 3 years, My middle wanted to go off to college this fall… but because he chose to wait on the Lord He is currently serving with my cousin in Alaska rebuilding his home after it had burned down! God is good!
And my husband who is “phasing out of a PT ministry role” as he works bivocationally
Aiming to return to full time ministry! I’m returning to work after almost 20 years of raising my kids and ministry!
Seasons are meant for change thankfully we have a loving father who not only guides but provides!! I’m counting on Him to close the doors not meant for me…to let me be aware of Where and when I will bloom!
Appreciate your very well written article and the encouragement I received from it! Sister hang in there God will make a way!
Irene says
BB, my youngest daughter has Crohn’s disease. She, too, had aggressive treatment during her college years. She finished school to become an R.N. and has a wonderful husband and sweet 5 year old daughter. Her health is not perfect, but she has a very good life. God is good. All the time. Blessings to you and your family!
Lucretia Berry says
BB, I am so glad to know this about God: where there is vision, there is provision!!!
God has a plan for you, goes before you, and has your back. In the meantime, we get to learn how to walk in peace, knowing God is faithful.
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Carol says
So good! Thank you.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Carol.
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Patricia Raybon says
Thank you, amazing Lucretia. Your Dad’s beautiful wisdom is blessing countless people today–me included. Thank you for sharing!
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Patricia.
I will tell my dad you that you appreciate his wisdom!
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Becky says
So beautifully written. I needed this message. It encouraged me in so many ways, Thank You!
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Becky!
You’re welcome.
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Dova says
Every obstacle in our lives has so many more blessings than we could ever imagine
God is good All the time!
Lucretia Berry says
Dova!
ALL THE TIME!!!
God has a plan, and has our backs. In the meantime, we get to learn how to walk in peace. It’s all good!
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Irene says
Lucretia, I have seen this principle operating in my life and in the lives of those around me. Thank you for sharing your story.
Lucretia Berry says
Irene!
You’re welcome!
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Beth Williams says
Lucretia,
Your dad’s wisdom is relevant for everyone today. It is the equivalent of God saying “not his. I have something better in store for you.” I have had numerous job rejections/layoff & let go. Two years ago I was let go from a part time job. I was actually happy it happened. I knew deep in my heart God had something far superior to that. two weeks later I got a job at the largest hospital in our hospital group as ICU Step Down clerical. What started out as two days a week is now two days/3 days plus filling in anytime a clerical wants off. The pay is more to boot. Never would I have ever seen myself in a position like this. God knew that my past history of caring for aging parents would give me the empathy I need to help RNs, CNAs, patients & families with caring for patients. All those closed doors have lead me to this great opportunity & God’s best for me!!
Blessings 🙂
Lucretia Berry says
Beth.
Congratulations on your new opportunities!
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Excellent Lucretia. I was never what the world would call popular. I am glad. I was hardly ever picked for anything. Especially when at school. I had few friends at school. But when I left school. I was even more left out with hardly any friends. The ones I had a school. Some do want to keep in touch. Some just send me a Christmas Card at Christmas time. But I have two good ones. Two sisters that remind friends with me. They used to live down were I live in Enniskillen. But when there Dad died he was a Rectory. They moved to Belfast. I still keep in touch with them. But hardly ever see them. As Belfast is 86 miles away from Enniskillen were I live. I one other friend. I see now and then. But she lovely. Like my two friends that live 86 miles away from me. But apart than that I no other friends. I did try to make friends with one girl. But she didn’t want to know. Yes I am married. My Husband keeps telling me. You have me. What more would you want. Yes I have my Husband too. I still like at times a friend. Outside my Husband and the other friend that lives not that far away from me. That I don’t see that often. So as we could go prayer walks and coffee together etc. But God showed me this. I have the best friend in him. Like the song “What a friend we have in Jesus” Jesus is the best ever friend. He is the person who will never leave you or forsake you. Jesus is alway wanting to be my friend. That stops me grumbling. About not having more friends even just one I could see more often. Especially to have as I have already said just one to go on prayer walk and coffee etc. As I it did hurt me along time ago as an Adult. That I don’t have more friends. Now it doesn’t get to me as much. Because God said to me like the song. What a friend we have in Jesus. God said Dawn don’t forget that. Jesus always wants to be your friend. Even if you feel rejection. Don’t see your friend that lives not that many miles away from you that often. The other two you don’t see that often that live now because they live Belfast. No better friend could I have than Jesus. You get the song “What a friend we have in Jesus” on YouTube. So I don’t let it worry me as much. As I have Jesus the best friend of all. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Dawn.
Thank you for sharing your story. I, too, have been in a season where I felt like the only friend I have is Jesus. In the lowest moments, I was reminded that having and knowing Jesus is my friend is good for me. It was tough. And it was also good for me to lean deeper into my friendship with Jesus.
God has a plan for you, goes before you, and has your back. In the meantime, we get to learn how to walk in peace. Sometimes, the peace walk is more challenging than other’s.
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Rose Powell says
I’m still waiting to see where my latest rejection will lead but I am confident that God has a very good plan.
Lucretia Berry says
HI Rose.
I know waiting can be tough. God has a plan for you, goes before you, and has your back. In the meantime, we get to learn how to walk in peace. Sometimes, the peace walk is more challenging than other’s.
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
jo says
Same here sister
jo says
I meant, I might be rejected or accepted for the next project. But God is the Leader. I cling to His leading than my apprehensions.
Karen Purkey says
Thank you for your wonderful posting. Your words and your Dad’s words touched my soul. They will get me a new perspective on rejection. Blessings
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Karen!
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Jennifer Haynie says
Lucretia,
I loved the post, and it’s oh, so true. Almost 19 years ago, I got laid off from my job in consulting. Five years later, I found out why when I took a job with the State of North Carolina. I’ve been there ever since and have found a healthy work-life balance that is so necessary. It’s had it’s ups and downs, but God know what he was doing.
Thanks for sharing. BTW, did you go to Davidson?
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Jennifer!
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Yes! God has a plan for you, goes before you, and has your back.
I did not go to Davidson. Did you?
Shalom
LCB
Ucha says
such an inspired sharaing. Thank you
Lucretia Berry says
Ucha! You’re welcome!
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Ucha!
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Grace Davis says
Beautiful! Your dad was a wise father….I’m so happy that you have moved beyond the norm..
We need more believers like you
Thank you. Grace
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Grace!
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
I appreciate your encouraging words!!
Shalom
LCB
FANNETTA H GORE says
Lucretia, thank you for allowing God to use you. Thank you for seeing that whatever we experience in life has a purpose. God can and will use us- our situations and circumstances for good. Even when we can see beyond what we are experiencing. To God we give glory.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi mom!
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Thank you for being my mom!!!
I give God the glory!
Shalom
LCB
Melanie Saunders says
Beautiful. Thank you, Lucretia, for your encouraging words. Your father’s wisdom is a wonderful comfort; I am so glad that it softened the sting of rejection throughout your life. And now, you have passed on that comforting wisdom to us!
Thank you.
I am so grateful that “God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable” (Romans 11:29 NIV). And that while our hopes and dreams do not always come to be, that God faithfully protects the plans He has for us.
May God bless you!
Lucretia Berry says
HI Melanie!!
I love what you shared:
“And that while our hopes and dreams do not always come to be, that God faithfully protects the plans He has for us.”
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Nikki says
This was right on time. I recently had a job offer rescinded after I asked for a higher starting salary. My first reaction was to panic but I decided to pray. I actually read this devotional a day before the event but came back to it after. And God’s message to me is even more clear now than it was before. What God has for me is for me and this “missed opportunity” is Him calling me to new places and spaces made just for me. Thank you for answering His call to write and share. It has blessed me in unthinkable ways.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Nikki!
WOW! I am so incredibly grateful that you shared your story here. We can be confident that God has a plan for us, goes before us, and has our backs. In the meantime, we get to practice walking in peace.
Thank you for reading. I am honored that my story encouraged you.
Shalom
LCB
Nancy Ruegg says
Thank you for this encouragement, Lucretia. God does want us to flourish and thrive, to be productive and fulfilled. And I especially appreciate your reassuring statement: “God . . . protects the plans He has for me.” Even for a retiree like me, these words resonate, because God is never finished with us!