My daughters gather at the stove giggling and chatting. The familiar fragrances of garlic, oregano, and basil permeate the air. The girls take turns swirling the ruby red tomato sauce and meatballs in the big pot with a wooden spoon.
“Be careful with my meatballs,” Nana Maria chides playfully. “You don’t want to break any of them up.”
My Italian mama, who my girls call Nana, stands at our kitchen island with my youngest daughter. They are stuffing jumbo pasta shells with spoonfuls of filling, which includes spinach, ricotta cheese, cream cheese, and ground beef.
My dad butters thick slices of Italian bread. My husband Shawn is in his usual place at the kitchen sink, trying to get ahead of the dirty dishes situation.
We are all in the kitchen together moving through a cacophony of clinking dishes, laughter, singing, colorful ingredients and inviting aromas. It’s a feast for the senses.
Food ignites memories for me. I am transported back to my childhood growing up in the kitchen with my mama, grandmas, and aunties. I come from a long line of women who pride themselves on serving up delectable food and nourishing people well.
I love to gather people in my home and deliver meals when friends have babies or after loved ones have gone on to heaven. Food is my love language. Hospitality is my jam.
Then a global pandemic hit in March 2020.
We were all forced to stay at home and social distance. Gatherings were canceled. Our schooling, life group, Bible study, and work-related meetings were moved to Zoom. If we wanted face-to-face time with people, we had to do it through a screen instead of across the table. I often felt frustrated and lonely.
I had to learn a different way of expressing hospitality. I couldn’t feed and gather people in the way I had in the past, and I also had to reckon with my theology of hospitality.
Could I still be hospitable even if I couldn’t open my home?
This year Jesus invited me to go deeper in my understanding of what hospitality means, and I’ve discovered that it is much more than just entertaining.
Hospitality is an invitation to rest. Abraham models this in Genesis 18 when he invites in three strangers who show up at his tent during the hottest part of the day.
Abraham says, “ . . . if it pleases you, stop here for a while. Rest in the shade of this tree while water is brought to wash your feet” (Genesis 18:3-4 NLT).
Abraham provides for these travelers by greeting them warmly, giving them water to wash their feet, offering nourishing food, and ultimately, a place to rest.
During the pandemic, God showed me that one of the most powerful ways I could offer hospitality during this time of crisis was to invite my parents into our home and be isolated with them. They stayed with us most weekends and some weeknights.
This was challenging at first, especially because my dad and I don’t always agree on politics, but even in an election year, we learned to rest together and nourish well. We enjoyed cooking, playing games, watching movies, and doing puzzles together, and my daughters deepened their relationships with their grandparents.
I discovered part of hospitality is also offering a safe space for people to share their stories. In Luke 8, Jesus is on His way to heal the sick daughter of a ruler of the synagogue. Along His journey, He is interrupted by a woman who has suffered from bleeding for twelve years. She spent her life savings on treatments and doctors. She reached out to touch Jesus’ garment, believing in faith that simply touching Him would bring healing. Jesus turned to heal her publicly and then invited her to share her whole truth with those listening.
During this past year, racial tension has continued to spread in our country like a match to kindling. I have watched as fellow friends of color have suffered and grieved deeply. I’ve felt challenged to listen well, to lament, and to invest time in reading the stories of my brothers and sisters. Listening to each other’s stories is a powerful way we can show hospitality and invite healing.
I’ve learned hospitality is also an opportunity to sacrifice for others, especially foreigners, strangers, and the poor. God has a merciful heart for the vulnerable. In Luke 14:12-14, Jesus tells the parable of the Great Banquet. He challenges listeners not just to invite their friends and neighbors but to extend hospitality to those who could not repay the favor and were most in need.
Studying this passage this year challenged me to think beyond the friends and family I normally would invite to my table. I was inspired by our church and other local organizations that provided for orphans, kids in our city who were schooling alone, and families that needed food.
Several weeks ago, I hosted my first Bible study in my home since March 2020. As I opened in prayer, the tears caught in my throat because I was so filled with unexpected joy to have these women sitting at my table. I served up warm, gooey brownies and local strawberries along with a new perspective on hospitality.
I do not want to forget what this pandemic year has taught me. Hospitality is much more than fancy dinner parties and spoiling my friends. Hospitality is a generosity that runs deeper and wider than I ever imagined.
Diane says
My mother had the gift of hospitality. Mom would have agreed with your post whole heartedly. She moved to heaven in 2003, remembered and missed by many including me.
Dorina says
Thank you for sharing about your mama! What a gift!
Madeline says
So much negative continues to be focused on the past year plus. But for me, I am looking at all that I learned and want to continue. This shift in how to do hospitality is one. I was raised in a close knit Sicilian family with my grandmother at the helm. She was an incredible cook as were all the women in my family- a tradition I have tried to continue. Sharing meals, cooking food for others was what they did and what I do. My children in turn are carrying on this tradition. But more than food, I think so many of us have learned to be compassionate in other ways such as listening and learning from the harsh realities of racial inequities and such. The financial disparities grew even larger as the wealthy corporations reaped benefits from the pandemic while essential workers put their lives on the line for so much less than a living wage. I do not want things to go back to “normal”. Normal was not that great. I pray for a new normal.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young says
I am with you. I want to make sure these lessons do not get buried! We can reach out and be hospitable in many creative ways! I love that your family is Italian too!
Carol Leboeuf says
Tha no u Dorina for your in(couragement) God’s ways are higher than our ways, I thank him also for His Spirit who lives in us to encourage us, also. Much love
Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young says
Carol, thanks for reading! You are a blessing!
Barbara K Rothman says
Thank you Dorina for your wise & sweet devotional. I grew up in a Jewish home where it is very similar to Italian families. Both of my parents were amazing cooks & the love of cooking & entertaining was passed on to me. My husband & I love to have family & friends over & like you the pandemic hit us hard as well. We live in Central Coast of California & have married children 5 min. from us, 2 hours away & 5 hours away down in San Diego. When our son & his family, our only grandchildren came last summer (the ones in S.D.) we quarantined for 2 weeks as they also were not around anyone & they came for a week! That week was so precious for us! We made it like a family camp & had games, movies & of course I cooked with my young granddaughters ages 9 & 10. That week was such an uplifiting time for all of us!!! My husband & I also sent letters to our son, his wife & our granddaughters individually. I think we were all challenged this past year to be more creative in ways to reach out to our family & friends. We also had a wedding for the ones who live 2 hours away which was really challening! A Bridal Shower & a brunch here for the grooms family!!! We just had to be creative! The morning of the brunch we had hundred of uninvited guests (ants!) also that my husband spent time getting rid of & I was limited to a small area in the kitchen to work! God has such a sense of humor & has taught me over the years just go with the flow & don’t let it get me upset! Remember I come from a Jewish background :).
Lord bless you Dorina in your ministry & with your sweet family!!!
Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young says
I love hearing about your Jewish heritage and how that informs your sense of hospitality too! Where do you live on the Central Coast. I live in Fresno and travel there often! Such a beautiful place to live! Enjoy your family time!
Irene says
Well said, Dorina! Finding broader definitions is a good thing. This pandemic is helping us all think “outside the box”. Blessings to be found in the ruins!
Dorina says
Yes, I love how you said that! There’s so much we can learn in life’s most challenging circumstances! ❤️
Cynthia Millner says
Thank you for this beautiful devotional and showing us a positive and encouraging way to look at a difficult year. Kindness and thoughtfulness is always a good thing.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young says
Yes, it was a hard year but there is always good to learn in the hard. God meets us there!
Dale says
Thank you Dorina for such encouraging word for today. Hospitality is a generosity that runs deeper and wider than we can even imagined. Thank you
Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young says
Thanks for your encouragement too!
Cheryl Stahl says
This really spoke to my heart. Just prior to the pandemic my daughter and three children needed a place to stay and came to live with us. God really knew what He was doing as it was natural to stay together during the pandemic so she could continue working and we could help with virtual learning! We learned how to zoom also. We are now having a Get to Know your neighbor Picnic today! This article is so timely for me. Thank you God and Thank you Dorina.
Dorina says
Cheryl, I love how you experienced some similar opportunities for creative hospitality!
Patricia Raybon says
So beautiful, amazing Dorina. Thank you for leading and inspiring!
Dorina says
Thank you, dear friend! You inspire me!
Nancy Ruegg says
God bless you, Dorina, for the way you graciously minister to those around you. In a world that seems to have more talkers than listeners, a listening ear is a precious gift of hospitality (friendly and generous reception). Sometimes that gift opens the way (and earns the right) to share about Jesus. We can also pray that such opportunities turn into divine appointments!
Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young says
Nancy, you are so right! Sometimes listening is hard, but I’m trying to build up that “muscle” with grace! 😉
Jasmine says
Exactly Dorina, your hospitality way of stories has healed us mentally and spiritually..
Thank you very much.
God bless.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young says
There is something called narrative justice. I believe listening to each other’s stories and finding empathy there can be a road to our healing with God’s help!
Beth Williams says
Dorina,
Hospitality is the friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers. It is much more than food for friends. It entails generosity of time, talents, love & compassion. Simply put it is loving others as Jesus did. The pandemic robbed many people-especially the elderly of closeness & love. They were stuck “sheltered” inside alone. Most yearn for a touch, hug or a listening ear. Our country is beginning to heal from all this turmoil. The best way we can begin the healing process is to show compassion to others. Now more than ever we need to extend hospitality to others. Asking God to help us be more hospitable to our fellow neighbors everywhere.
Blessings 🙂
Dorina says
Now more than ever we need to extend hospitality to others. This is so true! I’m praying for more opportunities to see those who are most lonely and invite them in!
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Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young says
Muchas gracias!
Karen Knowles says
Wonderful post, Dorina! I couldn’t agree more.
Dorina Lazo Gilmore-Young says
Thank you, Karen! That means so much to me!