I was thirty years old, pregnant, with a great job, a wonderful husband, a nice home, and a promising future in my career.
And I was miserable. I had no peace.
I know. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, at least not on the surface. But someone reading these words right now knows that life can look pretty on the outside but be a tangled ball of Christmas lights on the inside.
I was a news reporter at the time, and my life was spent moving from one news assignment to another: tornadoes, homicides, political rallies, plane crashes. I was fueled by caffeine and adrenaline. If I slowed down enough to get honest with myself — which rarely happened — I knew that my push for success was costing me my peace. But as my belly grew bigger, I began to finally ponder what would happen if I kept running at the pace that I was running.
If I wasn’t going to slow down for myself, I at least needed to slow down for this tiny human growing inside of me.
Then she was born. I was undone immediately. I knew there was no going back to the life that I once idolized. My husband and I decided we would move back to the farm, and I think we even shocked ourselves when we spoke the words out loud.
We definitely shocked our friends.
They couldn’t believe we would leave behind dream careers and the adventurous lives we were living. They told us things like,
“You’re wasting your potential.”
“You’re throwing away your career.”
There were times I asked myself if they were right. But then I started asking myself a different question: “What if they’re wrong?” Because they weren’t the ones who were paying the price for our accelerated pace of life. We were.
Our way of life was costing us our peace, and we had to make a change.
The Bible tells us to “let the peace of Christ rule” in our hearts (Colossians 3:15), but I know that the opposite is often true. We can get so busy chasing a certain kind of life that we accidentally allow chaos to rule in our hearts.
It’s Sunday today — a day set aside for rest. Take a moment on this set-aside day of rest to get honest with yourself. Explore where your heart is at peace, and where your heart is in chaos.
If you don’t have peace about the job, the boyfriend, the career transition, the bad habit, the stress in your life, the _______________ [you fill in the blank], push pause right now. Ask yourself: “What would it look like to make a change?”
I know you might be thinking that you can’t afford to push pause at the moment. Who’s got time for that? But what if you can’t afford to not to.
Maybe it’s time to let go of the things that are costing you your peace.
Let go of the things that cause undue stress.
Let go of the things that keep you awake at night.
Let go of the habits that help you cope and numb.
Let go of the scrolling that just makes you more on edge.
And then, grab hold of the things that bring you joy. Grab hold of the habits that make you healthier. Grab hold of the relationships that make you more of who God made you to be. Grab hold of your faith, your family, your hope, your peace.
I know that it can be hard to make a switch, even in the little things. Give yourself a little bit of grace and a little bit of time (but not too much time). The loss of peace doesn’t happen overnight, and it doesn’t always come back with the snap of your fingers. Honestly, it took years for me to trade chaos for peace. But it happened, one decision at a time, one step at a time.
I believe the same is possible for you. Step by step, decision by decision, trade your heart of chaos for a heart ruled by the peace of Christ.Leave a Comment