In the last few months I’ve had a fractured elbow, a gum tissue graft, and a massive infected cyst removed from my neck. For the love! It’s been so many weird and painful things in a row. With my kids doing distance learning for over a year and most of our activities on hold or on Zoom, we haven’t had as much as a cold in our household and then bam! — all the weird health things. No, nothing life-threatening or too scary, certainly not in comparison to situations others are facing, and because they’re not as bad as what others are indeed going through, it’s been easy to downplay these health issues I’ve been experiencing. But they aren’t nothing. They have been a big deal. My daily life has been impacted, and I’ve sure been miserable, in pain, and rendered pretty helpless at some points along the way.
It feels like I should be used to attending medical procedures alone. After all, I had a pandemic pregnancy and baby — who, by the way, is already seven months old. You’d think that with him being my fourth child, I’d be used to the swift passing of time especially during this first year of his life, but it turns out, I’m not used to it. Turns out it’s still bittersweet to see babies grow so quickly, and it’s still hard for me to walk into appointments alone, even ones that should be simple.
Really, I’m not used to anything, including asking for help, accepting care, and taking a break, and these past few months, I’ve had to do all of the above. My husband has faithfully bandaged, unpacked, cleaned, and re-bandaged the surgical site on my neck, which I could not see or reach. My daughter brushed my hair while my arm was wrapped in a sling. My sister dropped off headbands that would keep my postpartum baby hairs out of the medical tape on my neck, and my friend sent coffee money when the baby stopped sleeping and my mouth, swollen and stitched, could only handle icy liquids.
On the home front, we have extensively supported our local economy with our takeout orders. Grocery pickup has been a lifeline. I have given thanks that my husband and I still work from home. All of those things have made life easier, which in turn helped make the pain bearable.
While I am not great at accepting it all, I am learning that in a way, being dependent is a good thing. My friend Amanda calls it being “strong enough to lean.” How smart is that? And so, lean I will, right into the arms that hold the strongest. I’m learning to lean in, depend on, and accept the care God is offering us all the time. And that care reminds me of a mom.
Think about the best mom you know. Maybe it’s your own mother or a friend. Maybe it’s a lady at church. If you went to her in a frazzled and overwhelmed state, what would she tell you to do to take care of yourself?
Most likely, she would make sure you’re comfortable on the couch, perhaps with a fuzzy blanket. She’d get you a glass of water. Then she might advise you to take a shower. Go to sleep. Turn off the TV. Stop scrolling. Close the laptop. Call a friend. Wear clean clothes. Laugh. Read a book. Eat food that helps your body and have dessert. Forgive yourself. Forgive the other person.
The care that this amazing mom offers? That is what God offers to us.
God wants to care for us like the best mother there ever was — ready to help put our minds at ease, invite us to practices that help our whole selves, and/or give us a kick in the pants to shake it off and get moving. Maybe a combination of it all because that might be what we really need.
Just as a mother constantly thinks about and cares for her children, God does the same for us. Psalm 139:17-18 says:
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
God thinks of us more often than there are grains of sand. He cares for us, and He’d like us to care for ourselves too. That care might look like a doctor’s appointment to check on that weird thing, or it might look like drinking that glass of water, or going to bed early, or praying when you worry. It might also look like accepting help and care, admitting when things are a big deal and when we need to be taken care of.
Let’s be strong enough to lean in — to God and others — and let’s do what we need to do to take care of ourselves well.
Leave a Comment
Gillian says
Thank you, Anna, for a wonderful post and reminder of just how much God cares for us!
Anna E. Rendell says
Thanks for being here, Gillian!
Bev Rihtarchik says
Anna,
Many people don’t lean very well. We’ve been brought up to believe “self-sufficiency” is a magnificent virtue. It’s not. Like you and many others, I’ve had to learn to lean the hard way — usually out of desperation. I think of one of my mom’s favorite hymns. She would hum it or sing it when she needed a self reminder or wanted to remind me of the One I could count on. “Leaning on the Everlasting Arms” is an invitation to lean in close to God — to give up our striving and self sufficiency and to depend and rely solely upon Him. It’s the best healing balm for all of us.
Blessings upon you as you heal,
Bev xx
Anna E. Rendell says
Oh that hymn! What a balm! My little sister and I grew up singing it with my mom at the piano; we simply called it “leanin'” when we’d ask her to play it 🙂 Thank you for bringing up that sweet memory today.
Michele Morin says
I have a picture on my phone of a leaning birch tree, weighted down in a winter ice storm. All around her are the remnants of broken trees who never learned the strength to bend. Whenever I see her on my walk, she’s a parable for surviving hard times.
K Ann Guinn says
Michele, that is a wonderful picture! Thanks for sharing.
Anna E. Rendell says
What a great visual! Thanks for sharing today Michele.
Brenda M Russell says
Thank the Lord for Mothers!
I am so fortunate to know the love of my mother. I am also blessed to have lived with my grandmother from birth to marriage. No, that’s not the way it’s usually done these days.
When we are children, we could not find all the adjectives in Webster’s Dictionary to describe the attributes of a mother. Yes, they can be different in some ways but they all have birthed us into this world, adopted us into families, changed diapers, prepared formula, pumped breast milk or breastfed children into health and wellness.
These mothers do these kind gestures over and over again! No wonder a Sunday is set aside to remind the world how much we should appreciate mothers.
Keep praying if you want to be a mother and you are waiting for your blessing. Don’t give up mothers on the child who may be on the wrong path now. Keep hope and faith alive.
Oh, I didn’t even mention those domestic attributes. Teach your children to help with chores at an early age, it really shapes their character.
God bless you all.
Happy Mother’s Day ! ! !
Anna E. Rendell says
Mothers are AMAZING indeed. What a gift to live with your grandmother! I too was very close with mine, and oh, what I wouldn’t give for another visit with her now. Thanks for your sweet thoughts today, Brenda.
Carmen says
My all time comfort is knowing I’m a child of God. I think of how I would do anything for my kids and grandbabies … then think this is God over me. I’ve got shelter, strength, love, answers, direction and all from God. I just have to quiet myself in prayer.
Anna E. Rendell says
YES Carmen, what a comfort indeed.
Ruthie says
Now in my 70’s I’m finally understanding what it looks like for God to care of me…and it feels good!
Anna E. Rendell says
Fabulous, Ruthie!
connie ker says
All 4 of my children are adults now living distances away and I am a widow living alone with type 1 diabetes. I have had to learn how to lean daily while still taking care of myself. It is controlling blood sugars each and every day, but also realizing God is in control of each and every day too. Relying on my faith is “DEAR” standing for diet, exercise, attitude and research. You are not alone dear Anna.
Anna E. Rendell says
DEAR. That is genius, Connie!! Tucking that away for my own self. Thanks for sharing.
Irene says
I love this, Anna! So glad you have such a loving group of family and friends! And that you figured out how to let everyone help! Bravo! God is good. All the time.
Anna E. Rendell says
And all the time, God is good! 🙂 Thanks for being here, Irene.
Sharla says
Anna, thanks for the reminder to lean in. Too often, I try to tough things out on my own when God longs for me to come to Him for love and support. And we are meant to live in community helping others through tough times.
Anna E. Rendell says
Oof, you and me both Sharla. It’s ‘easier’ to do it myself… until it isn’t. Thanks for sharing your thoughts today.
Linda says
This is so good & so timely. Thank you so much. Linda
Forest Harrison says
Thank you so much Anna for your post. Amen to Sis. Bev. and Sis. Brenda’s reply. We definitely need to learn to lean on others and thank God for all the mothers, who did so much for their families and certainly taught us to do chores. Praying for you Sis. Anna for your total healing and recovery. God bless you and keep all of you. Grace and peace. Happy Mother’s Day to all.
K Ann Guinn says
I’m so sorry, Anna, for the troubles you’ve been experiencing. And I thank you for sharing your experience and using your pain to grow and reach out to others. I pray that you will heal in body, mind and soul as you continue to trust the Lord.
A few tears slipped out as I thought about mothers. I lost mine this past December, and the pain has been more intense since my parents live on the other side of the US-Canada border, so we also missed out on the whole last year of her life and being with her in her last days. And then to see my father trying to grieve and figure out how to live on his own in a pandemic which never seems to end. Then my husband’s mom also passed more recently. She had a long life and died mostly peacefully at 92 years of age, but it’s still another loss to process and grieve.
But I know that absolutely everyone has suffered losses and disappointments over this past year or so, and am learning it’s pointless to compare our grief. I’m also learning that extending grace to myself and others is a necessary lifeline, and the best way to show love to those around me.
God bless you as you heal and share and as we give our hurts to the One who cares for us most and will use it for his glory.
Anna E. Rendell says
I am so sorry for your losses, especially in the midst of the already existing pain of this year. Just so very sorry. Thank you for sharing your story here today, with us as you grieve and heal.
Beth Williams says
K. Ann Guinn,
Sweet sister. So sorry for the losses on many levels. Asking God to heal & comfort your weary souls. May you feel His loving arms surround you always. Losing a loved one is hard enough. Losing one without being able to see them for so long especially at the end is super hard. Praying for the peace that only God can give you.
Blessings 🙂
MB Mom says
My son is going through a lot of turmoil and struggling with changes at work, home and the kids having been home most of last year… taking it’s toll on him… are there any inspiring/encouraging stories you can share for men with young families? Thanks
Lauren Griesmeyer says
Anna! I can relate to the weird things! I recently fell flat on my face really hard on concrete! Hurt my hand a I think fractured a rib!
Hurt like the dickens and got the air knocked out of me! God has meanwhile been taking care of me! Sounds like He’s taking care of you in wonderful ways! Feel better soon! May God continue to meet your every need! Love in Him……Lauren
Anna E. Rendell says
GAH whyyyy do these things happen?! I sure hope you heal up fast, Lauren!!
Karen Knowles says
Thank you for the excellent post, Anna. Such a wonderful reminder!
Nancy Ruegg says
First of all, I am SO sorry you’ve faced THREE sets of uncomfortable and debilitating circumstances so close together. That’s enough now–no more for awhile! Second, you’ve shared such wisdom here, Anna. You reminded me of what a friend told me when I balked at receiving a rather expensive gift from her. She said, “You know Acts 20:35, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ” Then with a grin she added, “If you won’t receive, I won’t get blessed!” I accepted the gift!
Beth Williams says
Anna,
Prayers for healing of all ailments. May you be healthy for a long while after this. It seems like the devil is working overtime. So many people are dealing with multiple family medical issues-one on top of the other. We won’t let him win. They are learning to lean in & accept any & all help given them. They know God is bigger than any problem they face. This is great wisdom to keep in mind when facing trials: God thinks of us more often than there are grains of sand. He cares for us, and He’d like us to care for ourselves too. Let’s all lean in & allow others the blessing of helping us out.
Blessings 🙂
Maura says
Sorry to hear about your health issues. I had a gum graft done over 20 years ago, and I can say it was one of my most painful experiences, but milkshakes never tasted so good! Lean into God and your favorite cold beverage.
Dawn says
I cannot say how much I love this!! I literally just had a “take care of yourself, slow down” conversation with 3 different women I love. It’s like sometimes we feel guilty taking care of self, but we take care of everyone else. I just had a pre- op appt for a health issue im being vigilant to take care of and next week I have to call the podiatrist LOL! But all that said, I know God will take care of me. He never fails.
Rebecca says
I also struggle with leaning in. I hate asking people for help and feel almost embarrassed when I cannot do for myself. I injured my back last week and my husband had to do everything. He did it without resentment. He did it with love and understanding. I am learning to lean in but it is difficult. I was taught growing up no one is going to take care of you so suck it up and do it yourself. Figure it out. Oh how wrong that was. God takes care of me everyday.
Kendra says
Anna,
Great Blog! I really enjoy your blog!