About the Author

Becky is the host of the We Are Free podcast, an adoptive mama, and adventurer. She can’t get enough ocean air and Mediterranean salads but could do without small talk. Becky lives in San Diego with her mountain man hubby and their daughter.

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  1. I am a senior grandmother, and have to say that being a parent is not a competition. I still have memories of being a little girl going with my mother to a shoe store for a new pair of shoes. We actually rode a bus downtown, walked to the stores on the list, and the shoe store was always special. That was a long time ago when your foot was measured and a clerk would bring out boxes for you to choose from. Then after returning home, we were told to break them in, inside the house in case of a problem. So the routine that I still remember clearly, is my Dad would always dance with me in my new shoes. My parents complimented each other in parenting, and that is something I will always be thankful for. The best gift you can give a child is parent’s loving each other.

    • Connie! What a sweet memory, going to the store with your mom and dancing with your dad. I totally agree that the best gift my husband and I can give our daughter is loving each other well. Thank you for sharing a piece of your story and such great wisdom, too.

  2. Thank you for sharing so candidly today. I am a mother of three sweet girls. I love being a mother! My best times were being pregnant and bringing home my bundles of joy. My husband smiled a lot but I did the work. He never said that he felt left out of the nurturing process but now I can see that he probably did feel left out. I thought I was allowing him to rest since he worked a full time job and a part time job. Children love whom ever loves them and l should have asked my husband to join me in nurturing our babies together.

    It’s easy to think you are helping someone when actually you are hindering that person and not allowing yourself to grow and share your feelings and experiences with that person. Life is very beautiful. It’s a gift from God and children are gifts from God. This would make all of gifts from God.
    Now, it’s our turn to give our hearts to our Creator and share His love with others.

    I love how our Heavenly Father teaches us through our own children and the children of others.

    God bless you all. Enjoy your day.

    • Brenda! Thank you for sharing. I think every situation and family’s needs are different. And maybe what your babies needed at the time was YOU. And what my daughter needs at certain times is my husband. Nonetheless, yes, children are such incredible teachers without even knowing it. God has given me so many beautiful gifts and challenged me to be more like him through the dark-haired cutie that sleeps down the hall. Hope you have a great day, too!

  3. Dear Becky, Thank you so much for this inspiring reminder from Paul in 2Corinthians ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ but your words of faith, “There’s nothing more for me to prove or do or try, except let go of my desperation to be chosen by her, because I’m fully, graciously, and fervently chosen by Him.” spoke to my heart and hugged my soul. I needed to read this so much. As an author, sometimes you fall to thinking if certain people approve/like/review my writing then I will be good enough(that and therefore, approve/like me as a person). Thank you again and God Bless <3

    • Kathleen! Thank you so much for taking the time to write this. I’m so encouraged that this resonated with you. I can totally understand that feeling as an author, too. Being chosen by Him is more than enough for us both! <3

  4. Thank you Becky for sharing. This was a very touching reminder of the beauty of God’s gifts and love for us.
    Blessings to all,
    Penny

  5. Becky, what a joy to host your words on (in)courage today, Thank you for sharing your story with courage and vulnerability. So grateful for the reminder that we are chosen by Him!

  6. I totally relate! I have two daughters who often prefer my husband. I love that for him, but it also makes me feel less than at times. I love when you said – “I believe God keeps it there to remind me that my worth is not in motherhood. Vera cannot, will not, or should not ever feel responsible for making me whole. Only Jesus can do that.” What a beautiful reminder. Their job is not to make me complete, Jesus has already made me complete and often I need a reminder of that!

    • Jen! Thank you for reading and writing, friend! I need that reminder, too. So grateful we can take that pressure off ourselves and rest in Him instead <3

  7. Becky,
    Thank you for your post. It is sometimes so challenging to watch our daughters prefer their dads over us. I too know that feeling all too well. My daughter is fifteen and some days it does not bother me so much, but I do have days when it just makes me ache inside. God always carries me through. I always end up seeing the hope that my daughter will talk to me when she sees that a mother sometimes can only help with certain topics. Thank you again for your post. It helped me so much to know that I am not the only Mom out there who deals with this.
    Peace to you!

    • Kelley! Thank you so much for taking the time to write <3 You are definitely not alone in this! And thank God He's there for all of us who feel that ache sometimes. And/or, any ache for that matter! 🙂

  8. Thank you so much for sharing such a personal and heart-warming part of your life. It’s so beautifully narrated with such candid simplicity and vulnerability. I am impressed with your honesty. I’m sure that deep down your daughter loves you very much, but she needs your husband, and loves him for what he alone as a father can give her. That’s why God created parents – father and mother – to provide for their families and share responsibility in their upbringing. Enjoy your time with your precious baby. She will not be a baby for long, and trust me, as she grows older she will realise your value more and more.

    • Marguerite! Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement <3 I totally agree…I know my daughter loves me so much and I'm so grateful I have a husband that is such a good dad.

  9. Becky,

    We are a people desperate to be wanted & liked. We will do just about anything to have others approval & know they choose us. Most seek applause & love from family, friends & the world. Our feelings get hurt when others don’t choose us or our work. You start feeling down a bit. We have misplaced our identity. We think we are only a mama or what ever job we have. You stated it perfectly “There’s nothing more for me to prove or do or try because I’m fully, graciously and fervently chosen by Him.”

    Blessings 🙂