I unwrap my brand spankin’ new 2021 calendar, the old timey kind made of card stock that you hang up somewhere like it’s the 1900s. I love new calendars, and I love fresh starts. But this year, I’m disheartened to find several of the same old disturbing problems following me into 2021. Certainly, I find this to be true in my personal life, concerning situations that affect me and my immediate family only. And even with a more wide angle view, I find this to be true on a broader national landscape too, concerning issues that follow and trouble many of us.
The calendar pages display definitive ends to seasons, but real life does not.
Looking out my office’s picture window, I take notice of the snow that’s hanging around in spite of the fact that our last snowstorm was a few weeks ago. One interesting thing about living in Colorado Springs is that while it frequently snows over the course of our fourteen months of winter (haha), it melts quickly. With over three hundred days of sunshine a year, it doesn’t stick around. But this latest snow has stuck around, encouraged to do so by cold temperatures the sun can’t overcome.
In life, too, it can feel like the warmth can’t overcome the cold.
Winter will do what winter does: bring chilly temps and snow. It’s best not to fight the facts on the weather — or our own troubles. While we can always count on God making all things new and hope getting the last word, we aren’t guaranteed right-here-right-now expiration dates on our troubles. We aren’t even guaranteed they will come to an end while we trod along on this broken and beautiful planet.
So, I make a cup of hot sweet and spicy orange tea. I pull out the red and black buffalo check flannel socks and stretch them over my size 11 feet. Even if I don’t particularly relish the season I’m in, I can still do what I can to restore a mindset for the good things it brings.
Chief of these is to get my hind-end in the Word of God each day, because in the words of Ann Voskamp, “God’s Word to you is never a passing word or line — God’s Word is your very lifeline. In tumultuous times, there is only one voice that can calm seas. When the sun rises in the window every morning, it comes on fire with a message to say, The One who is the Word wants to have a word with you.”
I read the Word to communicate with God and to know what He wants to communicate with me. And I read it to best know how to communicate with others too.
I have a choice each and every day: I can demonstrate the light and warmth of Christ to others or I can douse it.
In general, when it comes to processing things, I’m a crockpot set on low. It takes time for me to know how to say what I think about something. But there are those topics and viewpoints that can provoke me to quickly provide a knee-jerk response. And every time I do so, almost without fail, I regret what I say or write. I regret the way I’ve communicated it.
However, every time I’ve taken a beat (or a day or a weekend) to think about what I want to communicate, I’ve never regretted it. Pausing before posting doesn’t lessen the validity of my viewpoint or the courage of my conviction. But it lessens any biting tone or defensiveness I might bring to the conversation.
In general, I want to be one who engages with thoughtfulness rather than defensiveness. I want to reflect Christ by dealing with and not deflecting from the matter at hand.
So, the next time I read something and think, “Hmmm, I don’t really agree with that!” I will remember I have a choice in how I respond. Will I bring a spirit of dignity or divisiveness to the conversation? This doesn’t mean I pretend to agree with someone whose opinion is different from mine. No, I can bring dignity to the conversation and still disagree with what is said. However, I want to do this from a place where the Holy Spirit leads me to respond rather than Kristen reacting with her Big Important Opinion. When I refuse to slam out an immediate response, my words are more likely to reflect dignity over defensiveness.
It’s late afternoon now, and golden shafts of sunlight brighten up the snowy landscape. While I may not be able to control one whit of what’s going on outside my window, I can control how I respond to it.
Through word and action, I can choose to be the way someone else experiences the warmth of Christ. And in one small way, I contribute to a more hopeful season, no matter the calendar date.
Leave a Comment
Cathy says
Thank you, so very much, for these wise words. So much more to say, but I’ll leave it right here. God Bless You and your family…and the Colorado snows!
Kristen Strong says
Thank you, Cathy. May God bless and keep you and yours!
Ann Woleben says
Wonderfully expressed and good advice for all of us~
Kristen Strong says
Thank you, Ann. Your kind words mean the world.
Gail says
So well said! And what a timely reminder. May we all choose to reflect God’s Glory and be a light of life and warmth in this dark world. We need desperately to hear that one voice that can calm the troubled seas around us. Thank you, Kristen!
Kristen Strong says
So thankful to have you here, Gail, sharing in the light-giving!
Dawn says
I am blessed by this message this morning. My heart prayer is that we ALL will reflect His light with dignity and be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to anger. Thank you
Marie says
Thank you Kirsten , your words were just what I needed to hear.
Kristen Strong says
They were what I needed to hear–and remember myself. Thank you, Marie!
Kristen Strong says
That’s exactly my prayer, too, Dawn. Beautifully said.
Ruth Mills says
Thank you for encouragement to pause before responding & highlighting we can choose to offer dignity not defensiveness! Beautifully said!
Kristen Strong says
Thank you for joining me in the good work, Ruth. Here’s to dignity over defensiveness!
Marie says
Thank you Kristen, your words were just what I needed to hear today.
Olivia says
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight oh Lord my redeemer. Thank you so much. Praising and thanking God for using you to share His word. Amen.
Kristen Strong says
Yes–and remembering that Psalm helps me to do a heart check on my mouth. Thank you, Olivia. xo
Kathy Cheek says
I have been learning that I also need to slow down my thinking and response to things over this past year and weigh my words very carefully to make it through the new mine fields of issues that threaten to divide us while trying to not let our enemy have the victory in hurting our fellowship with one another. I have a feeling it will take more effort now to shine my light as I should so I am working on that. I know God will be working on me in this area to help me!
Thanks for sharing!
BTW, I have a new 60 day devotional called CLAY that talks a lot about God working on us!
Kristen Strong says
*BIG CONGRATS* on your new devotional, Kathy! What a wonderful gift to this world.
And make no mistake, God is certainly working on my heart (and therefore my own mouth) as much as anyone’s. The desire to “have my say” can be real, but I believe my desire to not let the “enemy have victory in hurting our fellowship with one another” is stronger–by God’s grace. Thank you for your worthy words here!
cathy stanfield says
Spot on! Thank you.
Stacie says
This is so well-written and is advice that all of us can use from time to time! Thank you for this very thought-provoking article that was much-needed this morning!!!
Kristen Strong says
Thank you, Stacie, for such kind encouragement. It matters. xoxo
Suzanne B says
As always, God shows me what I desperately need to see/hear about my behavior. Everything said is me to a “T” . Thank you so much for the lovely way you say it so that I am encouraged to adopt the message into my life.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Kristen,
Over the years I’ve grown from being a microwave to being more like a crockpot. I used to have a knee jerk defensive reaction to others’ words like nobody’s business. In Ephesians 4:26, Paul says, “Be angry, but do not sin.” Words and comments and posts are going to upset us. Other people will rub up against our sensibilities like sandpaper. We will get angry. Be angry…but what comes next is the most important thing. You’ve expressed it so beautifully here. “But, do not sin.” I’m joining with you in weighing my words, letting my thoughts simmer for awhile before blurting out the first thing that comes to mind, asking myself whether what I’m about to say will encourage and build others up – or tear them down? Yes, let’s go forward choosing thoughtfulness over defensiveness. Beautiful post, my friend!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Lucia says
You said a lot in a short time! And every bit of it was good stuff that I needed!
Thank you!
Dawn Camp says
Kristen, you are so wise. Thanks for these good words today!
Madeline says
What a wonderful message and one that I so dearly needed to read. Thank you.
Irene says
Kristen, I love this! Well done.
Mary Labbe says
I’m a crockpot too! People sometimes don’t understand that, but with so much information to filter through, I pray for the courage to be kind or not speak at all. I love the phrase dignity rather than defensiveness. I struggle mightily to respond when my brain is ready to react.
Well said
Mary
JoAnn Carlson says
Amen! I find myself, especially on FB commenting than going back and deleting it!! Good thing I can do that, but sometimes you can’t delete words said! PS… praise God you have sunshine, in Michigan it’s rare to see sun in winter
K Ann Guinn says
I so agree with all of the sentiments above. This is a timely message for all time and circumstances.
At first I related to the crock pot metaphor for myself, but also recognize my ability to lash out and react quickly and emotionally and the resulting fallout. I tend to be a better slow cooker at work or out in public, but allow myself too much leeway in how and when I speak at home to those I love most. So your message has hit home in such an important way. Thank you.
I think now more than ever we all need to measure our responses, reactions and our words.
As for the weather, as I’ve always loved snow but it can be difficult to deal with when it piles up, or even worse when it turns into a heavy, slushy mess as it often does here in New England. I grew up in Ontario and it was much fluffier. But the lack of sun in the winter is really hard to deal with, so I’m a bit envious of your many days of sun. But I’m truly happy for you. So enjoy it!
Kristen Strong says
K Ann, my husband was stationed twice in Ohio, so I know what you’re saying about dark, dreary winters. Sometimes, I think we went months without seeing the sidewalk! I guess every place has its strengths and weaknesses.
And I hear everything you said here and see the same tendencies in myself. I’m still working on doing better, too! By God’s grace, I know we can. Sending love!
Stephanie says
Amen, Kristen! So beautifully said ❤️ Thank you for sharing!
Tracy L says
This is exactly the wisdom that I needed to hear today. So well written. Thank you, Kristen!!
Margo says
Such a great post Kristin; thank you! I’m so fascinated by just how many of us are receiving something significant at this time by way of the sunrise and sunset each day. I’ve been obsessed more and more with the colourful skies as darkness gives way to the light of day, and vice versa. I capture it to the best of my iphone’s ability; I rush out to my deck in my jammies at dawn some days (literally half-awake), so nothing from inside obscures my view (and I live in chilly snowy Canada!! brrr, but it’s worth it!). It’s a hope practise. It feels like a new spiritual discipline, and I know I’m not alone in this because I’m hearing many others include it in their stories these days. I feel like the skies reflect the full range of God’s emotions, nuanced, beautiful, powerful, gentle, etc. … the same emotions we, his image bearers, feel. Blessings Kristin!
Corene says
Love this! Thanks again for posting exactly what I need to be reminded of 🙂
Marion says
My sentiments also.
Jerry Seamans says
Thank you for being light in the darkness. Praying God’s best blessings on you and yours.
Theresa Holly says
I think being kind is so important. We should all try to be respectable to others “do unto others as we would like to be treated’ It so much easier to be kind than it is to be cruel .God bless all
Becky Keife says
“Pausing before posting doesn’t lessen the validity of my viewpoint or the courage of my conviction. But it lessens any biting tone or defensiveness I might bring to the conversation.” Amen, my friend! I’m so thankful for these words and for you.
Kristen Strong says
Thank you, dearheart. We’re ALL so thankful for you–a gift to every member of this community. Love you!
Jami DeRosier says
You’re words speak volumes to me. All this has bounced around in my brain for weeks. I’ve been unsuccessful to deliver my thoughts in a non defensive way as I’ve let the overwhelm of my days consume me. Thank you for being warmth and light and inspiring me to be the same for others.
Irene Talaasen says
i am always glad when a post from you comes along!!!!Your heart touches mine for good purposes! Blessings!! Psalm 46
Irene in Woodland Park Co.
Kristen Strong says
Waving to you, neighbor! And thank you for the kind words–they touch mine for good purposes, too.
carol says
Kristen,
After a discouraging week, your words truly touched my heart. I love your insight and wisdom!
Thank you so much for lifting me up and inspiring me to do better!
Tracy Bolwyn says
Such wonderful insight I can relate to. So thankful for this encouragement.
Julie Joiner says
Thank you. Such important words to remember. You say it well.
Blessings, Julie
K says
THANK YOU! Having just found myself…. irritated… with a matter, this was a great reminder that not only can I pause before responding (which I tend to do), but in that pause I can temper my reaction and how I let it affect my attitude.
Beth Williams says
Kristen,
I, too, want to be a slow cooker when responding to posts. It is easy to get a full head of steam & want to vent. One must remember what we post on social media is out there for the whole world to see. It can ruin your testimony. Whilst I may be angry & agree or disagree with you often times I ignore posts & don’t respond. You will find that I mostly post Christian ideas, songs, etc. out there. I desperately want people to see the “real” me out there in person & on line. Hitting pause before responding is one thing I already & will continue to do.
Blessings 🙂