About the Author

Nicole Watt is an American wife and mama living in Northern Ireland where she home educates her two boys among castle ruins. She's published in Christianity Today, Hermeneutics, and reads her essays on the radio.

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  1. Mine, my jealousy and lack of trust, but also me being not truthful and manipulating in our marriage I paid the ultimate price God came took my husband to his eternal home June 16, 2017. Don’t wrong my husband had issues to that damage out marriage. Cheating on me twice in our 44 years of marriage, and he was so cold towards me the last 15 years of our marriage no love, intimacy at all, so carry this guilt with me now.

    • Dear Gail,
      Thank you for sharing part of your marriage journey with us. I’m so honoured. It sounds like you had quite a difficult marriage and I’m so sorry for that. I’m also sorry your husband has passed away. Even though things were hard, I’m sure you miss him. God knows and sees all that is in your heart and does not want you to carry the burden of the past. He loves you and cherishes you deeply and wants you to know that above all else. To have that truth in the deepest inner places of your soul. I’ll be praying for you dear sister.

  2. Thank you…this is very meaningful today. My marriage issue is my doing and it’s been many months for God working in my heart to bring me back to Him and understand what I’ve done. I attempted a reconciliation in the past, but my heart wasn’t ready. I’ve had clarity come recently and I have reached out again, but I’m afraid too much damage has been done and my ex can’t look past all the pain I’ve caused. So, I lean into the Lord and give it to Him and ask for His strength to get me through. More regrets then I care to remember, but it is my story now and I have to believe that God has a plan behind it.

    • Oh Kimberly- your humility and transparency are so beautiful! Acknowledging our part in our marriage problems (or any problem) can be so difficult. The Bible says there is much rejoicing in heaven when we repent. He absolutely has a plan behind all that has happened and is happening. Keep seeking Him and praying for your ex’s heart to soften. Even if you believe you are responsible for the bulk of the problems God still expects our spouse to forgive us which can take time. He is so wise and His timing perfect. My husband and I are still working through issues and if I hadn’t spent that precious time alone with Him I wouldn’t have been prepared for the now I’m in. Thank you for sharing and I’m praying for you sister.

  3. As I read this this morning it sounded like a narrative of my own life married for 28 years praying for my husband’s salvation for 26. We separated and divorced in 2017 God opened opportunities and provided for me. He brought us back together in 2019 that was a year of rest, in this past year even as difficult as it has been he has been restoring us…still praying for his salvation. But I am now so aware of God’s pursuit of me and his love for me which I may have never known otherwise. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    • Dear Denise, your steadfastness pierced my heart. Wow! I’ve been praying for my husband’s salvation for 11 years and I know I grow so weary. Your response is such an encouragement to keep going. Knowing that God is truly for us, pursuing us, loving us deeply gives a safe and secure place to keep walking the walk, or rest/hide when we need to. Thank you for sharing. Praying for continued restoration for your marriage and much joy!

      • Thank you for your encouragement! Being unequally yoked is one of those pains we bear that only another who’s walked there can ever really understand. To love our Savior and Lord with all our heart and not be able to share that with the other love of our life is heart wrenching to say the least, but it has driven me into deeper places with Christ, for that I’m grateful. The struggle is real. Finding mutual friends with unsaved spouses have been rare…so please know if you ever need an ear or encouragement, you have my email, feel free to drop me a line. Again thank you for your encouraging words. God Bless

        • Denise,
          What you say is so true. The chasm is real and overwhelming some days. Yes, let us be an encouragement for one another and pray for salvation!

  4. I love your story …it was also mine…God in His mercy brought my husband and I together again the way He Intended after 30 years of dysfunction …It was almost 10 years to date of our deliverance that God took Him to heaven …how thankful I am that I only had pure grief to deal with and not regrets …God is so good!!

    • Dear Ruthie, this made me cry in the best possible way. What a beautiful story or redemption. God is so good! Amen. Thank you for sharing.

  5. Oh my.. EXACTLY written to me…this is my heart shaped stone…placed by my heavenly Father to remind me of His relentless pursuit .

  6. Denise,
    What you say is so true. The chasm is real and overwhelming some days. Yes, let us be an encouragement for one another and pray for salvation!

  7. This story has given me hope. My marriage have been crumbling for so long, I can’t remember when it began. Yet I pray God change my husband’s cold heart. I feel like an outsider in a foreign country in our home and it pains me to see our kids hurting. But reading this story confirmed to me that I MUST keep my eyes on Jesus. Thank you for sharing.

    • Dear Simoy,
      I can relate so well to your feelings and understand the pain you feel, for yourself and your children.
      I am glad my story has given you hope. There are so many women in difficult marriages and some wonderful resources/groups with wives walking together one day at a time. You are not alone. Jesus knows the way we should go. Will be praying for you for direction and comfort.

  8. Nicole,

    Isn’t it just like our God to come wooing us back to Him. He will use any method He can to get our attention. The devil on the other hand wants to see us angry, upset & crying ready to give up. He, too, will use any method he can to win his battles. Paul said it best in Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. We must turn our eyes back to Jesus & grab hold of His mighty hand. He will fight our battles for us & in the end we win.

    Blessings 🙂

    • Beth,

      Thank you so much for this encouraging word. It’s no coincidence as my story was being published Satan struck this week. Rather than be upset, as you mentioned above, I now understand what he’s up to and know my God is bigger and is fighting the battle for me. Got my armour on sister and believing Him for the next victory. Blessings to you too!