My mom showed us how to love others well.
Growing up, she filled our kitchen with the smells of chicken casserole or homemade lasagna when we learned of someone in our church with a loss in the family. She buzzed around the kitchen with a sense of purpose, and I loved how she always included fresh salad, bread, and dessert with the meal.
At the holidays, she taught us the joy of giving by filling bags with gifts and clothing for others in need. And it was never just one little present but bags full. She folded precise edges to the wrapping paper and taped them down with care. She held the ribbons taut and used the edge of a pair of scissors to curl them for an extra special touch, just as she would for us.
And as a teacher, I watched her go above and beyond for her middle school students. I lost count of the number of students who wrote about my mom’s giving spirit and encouragement in their college admissions essays.
Whenever I struggled with loneliness or sadness in adolescence and early adulthood, she encouraged me to look around. By finding others who were hurting, I could take my eyes off of my own pain for just a little while and be a friend to others who needed love too.
As I entered into adulthood, my mom’s example of serving and giving naturally became a part of my interactions with others. I’d smile to myself when I’d bring meals to friends with new babies, with a dish towel underneath the hot dish on the front seat of my minivan, reminding me of the exact way my mom transported her meals. I looked for ways to love others at work, church, and in my community. There were always more ways to give and more people to love. And these loving acts I offered made me feel good, like I was doing something important for those in need.
But then I became the “least of these” as a young, divorced single mom in my mid-twenties. As I navigated my new status as a single parent, one of my biggest struggles was realizing how much help I needed. I worked two jobs and lived paycheck to paycheck, sometimes skipping meals so that my son would have enough to eat. I obsessively checked my bank account balance, holding my breath for another overdraft fee if a bill came out too early. I wanted to be the one pouring out and loving well, but in my emotional, physical, and financial exhaustion, I had nothing left.
God met me there — empty, broken-hearted, and with nothing left to give. He showed up in the helpers when I suddenly found myself identifying as the one in need.
The King will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”
Matthew 25:40 (NIV)
One woman in my church often handed me a stack of coupons when she saw me. “Not sure if you could use these, but I just thought I’d pass them along,” she said each time.
My coworker and her husband spent an entire day with me at my new apartment painting my living room the soft mint color I picked out. I was so embarrassed for how long the project took, but they joyfully gave up their day to help me without my asking twice.
A huge glass jar full of coins and dollar bills showed up in a paper grocery bag on my door step one month, meeting the need for an unexpected bill I had no idea how to pay. To this day, I still have no idea who gifted it to us.
While it can sometimes be easier as Christ followers to pour ourselves out and show others love through our giving, there are also times when we need to learn to receive.
In that humbling and hard season, God taught me the humility of accepting the offerings of others. He used the people around me to be the hands and feet of Jesus.
After a crisis or right around the expected times, like the holidays, lots of people show up and say with the best intentions, “Please let me know if you need anything.”
But as the one who has now walked through deep need, I’ve learned the beauty of the quiet helpers who show up without asking, who see a need and step in to serve, who love without expectation of a thank you or acknowledgement, who see the least of these and give of themselves. I want to be that kind of helper.
There is certainly a time to mourn and a time to laugh, a time to plant and a time to uproot, and yes, a time to give and a time to receive. May we be humble enough to give without expectation and to receive help when we need it. There is a time and a season for both.
Leave a Comment
Jas says
I’m so glad you shared this story. I think receiving help is harder than giving it. I too would love to be a quiet giver. Your post has encouraged me to keep on the look out how I can help someone else – it’s truly been a while!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Hi Jas,
So good to see you here…I’ve missed you! Praying you are doing well?!
Blessings friend,
Bev xx
Heather Lobe Johnson says
Jas- I’m right there with you in working towards being a “quiet giver.” So glad this was able to encourage you to look around for those who might be in need of a little extra love this season. Grateful for your words!
Beth Williams says
Jas,
How are you doing? Haven’t seen you on this blog for a while. Life going ok for you during these times? Miss reading your posts. Praying for you that all is well spiritually, financially & emotionally during this pandemic.
Blessings 🙂
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Heather,
Like you, I went from a place of security to being a single mom with no job. It’s scary how quickly the landscape can change. The lesson I’ve taken from that season is what you describe here so beautifully. God loves a humble and contrite heart, both on the giving and the receiving end. Thanks for encouraging us to not let opportunities pass us by.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Heather Lobe Johnson says
Bev- your comments here are always such an encouragement. I didn’t realize single motherhood was part of your story, too. I like how you point out the heart posture is the same on both ends (humble and contrite, whether giving or receiving). Such a good reminder. Blessings to you, too!
Kellie Johnson says
Heather,
Thank you for your transparency here. It can be harder to receive than give and I’m not quite sure why that is (our pride maybe), but it’s the picture of the church I believe Jesus had in mind. Just last year my husband was in an accident and we realized quickly we needed to accept the tangible help offered to us if we were going to get through. What has come from that are pages of thanksgiving and answers to prayers written in my journal we had not even had the chance to pray yet. Receiving all that we did last year served to pump us up to give more as well. What a great reminder today as we all walk through this season of the unknowns of this year.
God bless,
Kellie
Heather Lobe Johnson says
I think you hit the nail on the head about why we have trouble receiving with the pride thing (at least for me). Your story of how your church and community surrounded your family last year brought tears to my eyes. What a beautiful picture! Thank you for blessing us with that story. Sending you and your family prayers as you enter the holidays this year.
Ruth Mills says
When we refuse the help we are robbing others of their opportunity to serve not just us but The One Who enables them to give. They are deprived of a being Christ-like moment that would strengthen them as well as bless us. And who knows the ripple effect that reaches beyond ourselves.
Heather Lobe Johnson says
SO well said, Ruth. Thanks for the great reminder of letting others serve, even when it makes us a little uncomfortable to receive. I love how you put that!
Irene says
Thank you, Heather! What a great reminder that it’s okay to receive, or even ask for, help when we need it. Bravo for friends who anticipate and fill our needs!
Heather Lobe Johnson says
Amen! Thank you for reading and sharing, Irene.
Ann Averill says
Wonderful, Heather. Good to see your work here written with humility and wisdom. You have been a giver for me.
Heather Lobe Johnson says
Thank you, dear Ann! And you have been a wonderful giver to me this year too. So grateful to have you in my life!
Cheri Loy says
I ordered some beautiful note cards through Dayspring. They are called (in)courage find yourself among friends Note Cards with Scriptures and messages. I would love to order some more.
Heather Lobe Johnson says
Hi Cheri! I just did a quick search of the Dayspring/(in)courage shop and found some beautiful options under the “cards” category. Hope you can find what you need here: https://www.dayspring.com/cards
Leslie says
My Mama’s phrase for this was, “don’t block a blessing”. If someone wants to do something for you, then the Lord has laid it on their heart. So, don’t block a blessing.
Heather Lobe Johnson says
Ohhhh! I love that! I’ll have to tuck that one away for later (and maybe the next time I tense up at the idea of humbly receiving). Great reminder, Leslie.
Missy Robinson says
Thank you so much for sharing. I so related when I became a “suddenly single” mother, too. God showed Himself in so many ways through the kindness and provision of others. He is so faithful!
Heather Lobe Johnson says
Missy- thank you so much for sharing that with us. It’s amazing to see the hands and feet of Jesus at work in our lives when we enter into painful, unexpected places. I love hearing of His faithfulness in your life during that time!
Ulrich Coutinho says
There’s a saying, “What goes round, comes round.” I think your mother’s kindness and generosity
is being returned to you. “What you do unto others, you will have others do unto you.” You are a very blessed and fortunate young woman.
Heather Lobe Johnson says
What a beautiful point, Ulrich. Thank you!
Ada Orie says
This was a beautiful devotional. Thank you for your transparency. We have to remember to love others and allow others to love us. It works both ways. Thank you for this wonderful reminder. May God bless you.
Heather Lobe Johnson says
God bless you, as well, Ada. Thank you so much for your kind words here!
Stephanie Adams says
I can relate, after becoming a single Mom at 31 with 6 and 1 year old little girls. Thank you for sharing this wonderful story. God Bless You!
Heather Lobe Johnson says
It’s a hard sisterhood, but I’m always grateful when I meet others who have walked that path. There is such rich understanding, empathy, and support for one another from fellow single mamas (and those who have that as part of their past). Thank you, Stephanie!
Nancy Ruegg says
Years ago I tried to turn down a gift from a friend, knowing that she and her husband did not have a lot of money to spare. D. told me, “If you refuse my gift, you are stealing my blessing!” She was referring to that well-known verse in Acts, “It is more blessed to give than receive” (20:35). I had never thought of receiving in those terms, but have remembered her exhortation ever since!
Beth Williams says
Heather,
Over the years people have given to me. A neighbor fed me often when in college & had me over for a super bowl party she won. The next day there was a huge snow storm. No one could come in to work at the nursing home across the street. So we both went over there with left over pizza & other foods to give the workers. We offered to help out any way we could. taking food & drinks to patients. Years later I have the spirit of your mother in me. My first thought when I hear of an illness or hospitalization of someone is they need a meal. Recently my pastor & his wife were working to move her mom down here. Knowing all the work involved I decided to cook a meal for them. Made a chicken pot pie & some bread. Years ago when my in-laws were having medical issues I cooked for them often. The last few years I made a couple of casseroles for them for MIL’s birthday. My way of saying you don’t have to cook-Happy birthday. I want to be the hands & feet of Jesus as much as possible & hear those words “Well done thou good & faithful servant.”
Blessings 🙂
Danita Jenae says
Heather! I am living this story right now. Thank you for putting this to words! Beautiful.
Pussywillow says
Coming down with stage 4 lung cancer metastasized to the brain this January took me from being an independent DIY-er to seriously needing help! It’s been amazing how people I don’t even know, but who know someone who cares about me, have come out of the woodwork with prayers, financial assistance, food (& with our special diets, that’s a big deal!), transportation & many other details too numerous to mention. It is humbling (& it took me some adjusting to handle it!). It’s also beautiful to see how it allows God to build up our benefactors in generosity :).
B says
Thank you so much for this. I am about to become a single mother – something I never, ever thought would be part of my story – and I needed to read this today as the next chapter looms. Even though I know and feel assured of God’s great love and faithfulness, I still feel fearful and so devastated by this. My heart was touched by your story and the comments shared by others. Thank you.