How do you do this without breaking down crying? How do you teach this content over and over again? Why are you not curled up in the fetal position, rocking back and forth?
I am asked these questions a lot by my adult students who for the first time are learning the historical context for racial injustice — past and present. My teaching assistants and I put an enormous amount of effort into ensuring that our learning environments are a psychologically safe space for our students to bravely learn. We are like nurturing moms who don’t want our babies to ever feel pain. And regardless of how much we buttress our students, the world and its realities can be harsh. So, of course, they inevitably experience discomfort, turbulence, and growing pains.
Sometimes, the pain of newly learned truths is twofold. First, students lament over how the inhumane treatment of people groups was written into policies and normalized culturally. Then because they were never taught the historical context for our structural inequalities, students are disappointed in their institutions of education. They feel betrayed and bamboozled. The reckoning is sharp and heavy. The ache strikes a human cord and demands their attention. Dazed by devastation, some students seem to be suspended in breathlessness, simultaneously puzzled by the past and a pending future.
Sitting in the intersection of grieving the past, recognizing the consequences in the present, while daring to envision a significantly different future can be exhausting. As the instructor, when I observe that students are overwhelmed with anguish, I direct us to take a collective pause — to take a breath. I encourage students to feel their emotions telling them that this is important. Though this intersection seems desolate, and this pause feels desperate, the breath is packed with possibility.
In that breath, I am reminded of ruach — the breath of God that hovered over chaos in the process of creating.
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
Genesis 1:1-2 (NIV)
It is this same hovering breath of God, inherent with creativity, that redeemed His people from Egypt.
. . . like an eagle that stirs up its nest, and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them aloft.
Deuteronomy 32:11 (NIV)
Innately creative, nurturing, and redemptive, the breath of God hovers over us. Where there is chaos, God breathes creativity and redemption. Where there is cacophony, God breathes consonance and unity. In ruach, we have space to experience the discomfort of becoming aware of wrongs while also expecting a more beautiful creation.
So when students ask me, “How do you teach this stuff without crying?” or “Knowing what you know, how can you smile while you are teaching?” I share my perspective, my story. I’ve known the historical context of racial injustice for a long time. Though I feel the weighty disappointment, it is not new to me. It’s like a persistent dull pang aligning me with God’s desire for a healed humanity. I remain connected to the pain so I maintain the motivation to pursue healing. However, I am propelled forward, not necessarily by the trauma or the wound, but by the certainty of ruach.
Several years ago when I was prompted to design the course that I, and now others, teach, Holy Spirit showed me a vision: A revolving door continuously welcoming those who want to learn, equipping them for transformation.
I happily teach content exposing the ugliness of racist beliefs, policies, and practices, believing it will have the same liberating impact on my students as it did on me. I smile because I have the honor of teaching folks who have chosen to bravely learn and who have chosen me as their guide, at least for the duration of the course. I rejoice at witnessing thousands experience the revolving door. The burden that I carry is not the weight of past racial injustice but of the vision of ruach hovering. While I live in the present (a manifestation of the past), I lean into and glean heavily from a future in the process of being created.
The truth is that sometimes I do break down and cry at the blatant disregard for human dignity and value. And there have been a few times that I cried out in despair, “God, are You really there? And have You gone to the dark side?” Then I realize that when I focus on the noisy chaos, I miss the beauty of ruach. Before you or I even experienced today’s trauma, God had already created a way forward to redemption, a way to learn and grow — a revolving door, perhaps.
May we choose to breathe with the breath of God. Ruach Elohim is with us, hovering, creating, commanding chaos into order, rescuing us, and taking us higher.
Leave a Comment
LaDonna says
Thank you Lucretia for your beautiful and extremely encouraging words. Through your words God has reminded and reassured my weary heart today. Also your understanding has helped me see into my sons heart a little clearer.
“Though I feel the weighty disappointment, it is not new to me. It’s like a persistent dull pang aligning me with God’s desire for a healed humanity. I remain connected to the pain so I maintain the motivation to pursue healing. However, I am propelled forward, not necessarily by the trauma or the wound, but by the certainty of ruach.”
I’m so grateful God enabled you to write these words today.
May God continue to bless and guide you.
Lucretia Berry says
LaDonna
It warms my heart to know that you found inspiration through my words. May you be sustained by the breath of God.
Thank you so much for reading my story.
Shalom
LCB
Leutisha Stills says
Dear Dr. Berry:
I needed this today. As a person who is constantly admonished for feeling my emotions, I really needed this word today. I am learning how to feel my emotions, but learn how not to be dictated by my emotions. I feel torn most of the time. I realize emotions are fickle and are not to be trusted; yet I also know when my emotions signal to me when something is wrong. I signed up for this content to help me on my journey. For that, I want to pray that God keep you in ruach, something that I am willing to learn as well.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Leutisha!
I agree… our emotions tell of when things are important (or not). Emotions don’t lie to us. However, they don’t have to tell us what to do. Instead, we get to determine what to do with the information our emotions have given us.
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Diana Cox says
What a great message of hope!! I would love to take this course myself because I was brought up in the 60’s and 70’s when racism was openly touted as normal. Even as a child though, I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t tell you why. Of course, as I’ve aged, I definitely know why racism is so evil. I appreciate how you stated the facts but kept pointing out the hope there is in knowing God has a perfect plan. That’s why I try to focus and pray to God for His Spirit to heal our land. Thank you so much for your thought provoking article.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Diana!
Thank you so much for sharing the truth about your upbringing! Well, we can acknowledge the wound, we can begin to heal. YAY!
I offer a virtual version of my course at Brownicity.com. The course is called ‘What LIES Between Us.’ It offers a great foundation for understanding and articulating structural racism and brokeness.
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Lesley Boyer says
Thank you.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Lesley!
You are welcome.
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Joy Groblebe says
You inspire me every single day. Thank you for your teaching. It has changed my life.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Joy!
Thank you so much, friend! Your encouragement means so much to me!
God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Kathi says
Thank you for writing this. I have also have felt humbled and humiliated when I have taught graduate courses on the history of how individuals with disabilities have been treated. It is horrific with much abuse and institutionalization. Even today most churches are not seeking them out in the community to minister to or include them so the larger Christian church continues in disobedience.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Kathi!
You’re welcome!
Thank you so much for teaching about the civil rights violations of people with disabilities. Your’s is such important work. We must see everyone in our society — not just the abled, advantaged, and wealthy. Wouldn’t it be great if the greater church pursued ‘the least of these.?’
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Beth Williams says
Lucretia,
There has always been some for of racism. In Biblical times it was the lepers, anyone with an imperfection-blind, deaf, mute, etc. The Pharisees & Sadducees would often disallow them from coming into the temple to worship. They thought some sin must have occurred to cause this. Solomon said it best in his quote “there is nothing new under the sun.” Thank you for teaching people about racism & showing them a way to heal. If we don’t remember our past we are doomed to repeat it. Thankful to our almighty God for creating a path to redemption. I am inspired to live like Jesus said “Love your neighbors as yourself”. That means anyone from any race, color or creed is to be loved as we loved us. Jesus showed us that kind of love on the cross. Praying this nation can get back to that kind of love.
Blessings 🙂
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Beth,
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words!
Yes! Our alignment with a scarcity idea prompts us (humans) to create fear-based structural hierarchical caste systems that breed abuse and inequality. It’s disturbing… because in Christ, there is a better way — abundance, love, communal continuity. In the example you gave, religion was abused against people with a disability. With racism, fake science, policies, narratives, and practices are used to devalue and divest people who are not of European dissent. Overall, it hurts all humanity.
But, God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Jeri says
WOW! What a gift you have given us today… The last few years God in the Chaos has become a “thing”…. but it has always been a thing if we look back… As a retired HS Special Ed. Teacher it has always been my practice to see beyond limitations/challenges… exhausting work if you stay in the swamp… but always reaching for the possibilities created in new relationships and coalitions. We are in that time now… and breath we must! Together going forward looking to our Creator’s vision of a beloved community. Thank you so much for your vision and words… JS
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Jeri!
You are so welcome!
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design… ” and breath we must! ”
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Regelyn Edwards says
Dr. Velda shared this with us and it was oh so fitting for the time we’re in. A giant Thank You . . . to all the teachers and leaders that are sharing and caring. Your efforts are greatly appreciated!!!!!!
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Regelyn!
Praise God for the teachers and leaders!
Thank you so much!
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Cynthia McGarity says
Lucretia, thank you for these words of hope, fortitude, strength and encouragement. The breath of the Holy Spirit has been a balm to me during my most painful times. I was blessed to take your course through Brownicity and learned so. many. things. It’s hard for me to imagine having to teach a course (I, too, am a teacher…of the arts…) over and over…one rooted in the darkest days of humanity. But knowing there are incredibly inspiring, faithful educators who want to do the hard work of enlightenment for the betterment of our world is such an inspiration and beacon to me. Thank you for your life’s work. Thank you for these words. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Cynthia!
You are welcome.
Thank you so much for taking the course! I appreciate you leaning into the hard stuff. But that’s what teachers do, right?
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design. We must keep breathing.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Pamela Herman says
I woke up thinking about those struggling with breath today affected by COVID. The broader grief also in focus. I think of the name of God which was unspeakable. A youtube video shared with me that the “closest thing to saying it, is breathing”. God gives life. Your reminder how struggling with deep pain requires us to go back to breath. Go back to God essentially. We then can learn a new way forward. I’d love to learn more from you Lucretia.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Pamela!
You wrote: …go back to breath. Go back to God….
WOW! Reading it that way shook me! Thank you for that.
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design. We must keep breathing.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Feel free to connect to my work through Brownicity.com.
Becky Keife says
Lucretia, you give me such hope! Thank you for all the ways you choose joy in teaching, care for the learner, and keep pointing us all back to the peace and redemption of Jesus.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Becky!
You are so welcome!
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design. We must keep breathing.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Lucretia,
Thank you for sharing your struggle which is your story. May God keep breathing redemption over our world and may we inhale His goodness and look at our brothers and sisters through His eyes.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Bev!
Yes! May we have God’s eyes for the Creation He designed and breathed life into.
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design. We must keep breathing.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Doris E Maltby says
I love Dr Berry and always am blessed and stimulated by her heart and thoughts in the midst of this chaos.
Thank you, Dr Berry for being such a loud part of what God is doing!
Dee
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Dee!
Thank you for your love and encouragement!! I sincerely appreciate being heard by YOU!
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design. We must keep breathing.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Brenda M Russell says
To people who look like my great grandmother, on my grandfather’s side, she was a beautiful and graceful lady of color. Because she was fair in complexion, she received gentle treatment during her young adult years. But to people who look more like my great grandmother, on my grandmother’s side, she was a strict and stern lady who demanded her grandchildren be obedient. She was a beautiful dark complexion woman with a look of seriousness on her face. She did not have easy family matters. When my mother describes her, she does not smile in her voice.
Two different females, both loved by their own mothers a very long time ago. Why did life treat them so differently?
Now, I can say that I have been taught the love of Christ. I know the importance and value of “forgiveness” and it is a command from our Lord and Savior.
I trust God, He created all humans by His choice and His will. Humanity failed in the love your neighbor as yourself area.
Humanity is still failing in many ways and some don’t want the heaviness of accepting that we can “listen” and start new conversations with kindness and respect.
Let’s ask our Creator to help us.
Lucretia Berry says
Hi Brenda!
Thank you for sharing a story from your family. Colorism, a by-product of colonization and racism, carries the same weapons to reek havoc on our wholeness. May our true identities be known and healing invoked.
I am happy to know that you were encouraged by my words! God is building the Kingdom through us. We get to align with God’s design. We must keep breathing.
Thank you for reading.
LCB
Wendy says
Why are we “feeding” into this liberal progressive marxist rhetoric?? I am starting to become greatly disillusioned with (in) Courage and this constant brainwashing. WE are NOT systemically racist in this country!!! Please STOP writing these biased pieces. As Christians, we should ALL know alot better than this. We are ALL children of God; created in HIS image!! And we are ALL loved just the way we are. I was raised that way; I believe that!! And I will NOT be drawn into these ridiculous biased conversations. I am greatly disappointed in this post. I needed to hear today that God knows our anguish as we watch our country being swallowed by utter evil and we watch the Devil at work. I needed hope for our elections next week, as I sit with a troubled soul and am in utter terror of what the progressive left and BLM activists have planned for our country and our cities next week. I need solace that we have God’s protections in these horrible evil times. Instead, you spend precious words on rhetoric that is all lies!! I am saddened!
Becky Keife says
Dear Wendy,
You wrote, “We are ALL children of God; created in HIS image!! And we are ALL loved just the way we are.” To this I say, absolutely and amen! That is how God designed us and how He sees us; it’s also how He calls us to see and love others. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world, and often the Maker’s plan is not our reality this side of heaven. Where you read “rhetoric” in Lucretia’s post, I read hope. Hope that God is with us, working, moving in and through our brokenness. Where you are disappointed, I am heartened and encouraged that while the pain of this world is real, God’s justice and redemption will have the final victory.
As you can read on our about page, (in)courage is a place where we build community, celebrate diversity, and become women of courage. We do this through sharing personal stories that allow us to learn from one another and point to the hope of Christ.
As the community manager of (in)courage, I support Lucretia Berry as one of our writers and I stand by this post.
At (in)courage, we believe that there is more that unites us as God’s daughters than earthly issues that divide us. In this living room, we’re okay with not seeing eye to eye on everything. That’s the beauty of true community. We can choose to keep loving and listening even when we don’t fully understand or even blatantly disagree. We believe there is a spot for everyone in this living room — so you are welcome here. But just know that should you choose to spend time here, you will continue to hear stories like Lucretia’s. It’s okay if some posts don’t hit the mark for you or stir a level of discomfort. It is not okay for you to use this comment section to accuse a writer of drawing you into a “ridiculous biased conversation” when it is based on her own personal experience. If our content causes more division in your heart than encouragement, you always have the freedom not to read. Of course, I hope you choose to stay in the living room. We’re better together.
Here’s to community, diversity, and courage!
Respectfully,
Becky Keife
(in)courage community manager
Kaitlyn Bouchillon says
Wendy, would you join me in prayer? I read your comment a few times and the anger and fear shine through my computer screen. I believe many, myself included (!), are overwhelmed right now. Tensions are high no matter where we turn, and so after reading your words again, I wonder if perhaps we might turn together to God in prayer… join me? <3
God, we don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but we trust that You do. Even now, You are holding us. Help us to reach out in love and hold one another’s hands instead of plugging our ears or crossing our arms. We need one another, Lord. You’ve made us part of one Body, and even as each and every one of us brings a unique story to the table, remind us continually that we are better together. Holy Spirit, stop our hands and close our mouths when we are about to tear down or divide. We are sisters, family brought together by the blood of the Lamb.
It’s so easy to let fear reign, Lord. May Your voice, Lord, even when it's a "still, small voice," be the one we know best. You are the Author of this story, the One who is always in control. Jesus, You are the storm-calmer, the water-walker, the Prince of peace. You said “blessed are the peacemakers” and You made us in Your image, and so we ask Holy Spirit that You empower us to speak, act, comment and love with a lens of peace making. May we be women of courage and not fear, of truth and not lies, of unity and not division.
You are a God who makes more room and more room and more room. May we be women of welcome in our in-the-flesh lives and online, too. Before we say a word, Holy Spirit remind us that the speck we see in our sister’s eye might be dust from the log in our own. If the speck truly is there, we ask that You remove it. You are the Great Physician, and we trust this to Your capable and healing hands.
Jesus, we long for our relationships to be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. We humbly ask You to continue growing these fruits in our own lives and hearts, too. Prune what must be cut back in us, water what is growing in us, and may there soon be an abundant harvest of goodness that brings You glory.
May we, Your daughters, be peace makers, kind speakers, and loving listeners. When we disagree, may we do so with gracious words, loving our neighbor and our sister as ourself. You are with us, somehow even here in a comment thread, keeping Your promise to be wherever two or more are gathered in Your name. Thank You, God, for Your love, Your mercy, Your justice, and Your kindness. You’ve brought us together, given us each a seat at the table, and made us Yours. Lead us through these coming days. Fear does not get the final word. There is a Kingdom that cannot be shaken. Hallelujah! We will hold fast to You, to one another, and to hope. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Lucretia Berry says
Wendy,
Your accusations left we writhing in pain. There was so much shame & blame hurled at me through your comment that I had to pause to heal so I could respond from a healthy place. In that pause, I saw that you potentially have been shamed & blamed. I empathize with you & pray for our complete healing and recovery. We must heal within before we can manifest healing in our nation.
I agree… the lies spread by un-, mis-, & dis-information is rampant. And its why I use education as a conduit for helping to heal our nation’s fissures.
Historically, wielding words as weapons is a popular tactic for de-centering justice from the gospel:
During our nation’s early years, Christian abolitionists were labeled ‘agitators.’
During the 20th century, Reverend Dr. MLK Jr and other folks advocating for the exploited to have civil rights were marked ‘communists.’
And now, the centering of justice & healing is condemned as ‘liberal progressive marxist rhetoric.’
There is nothing inherently evil about the words. The words themselves are not scary. But intentionally they have been co-opted, weaponized, and forged into arrows to pierce hearts with fear.
With words, God created a beautifully dynamic cosmos. With words, Jesus calmed a storm. And when the Holy Spirit spoke, the early church was birthed. May we be like our Creator and use our words for manifesting life, shalom, and edifying the body. May we be conduits of love and creators of consonance. May we exhale the breath of God.
Shalom.
LCB
Deb Maish says
That is a breathtaking look at God and the breathe that gives life to humanity in every aspect of humankind. Thank you so much!
Lucretia Berry says
Deb!
You are so welcome.
Thank you for reading and finding hope in my story.
I hope you are taking deep breaths this week. I am!
Shalom to you and our world
LCB
Robin Dance says
Lucretia, I am thankful for your work and your words and the many ways you’ve impacted my life. Patiently, you teach from your experience and study, always pointing us to the better way–in Christ. This comes at personal cost to you sometimes, and for that, I’m pained (for you, no doubt, but even for those whose vision is obscured).
I love you and I like you, and I’m proud of you. To follow the Lord into hard and heavy places takes courage. And it is my joy to see Him at work in and through you!
Lucretia Berry says
Hi friend!
Thank you for reading. Thank you so much for seeing God in and through me. Thank you for loving me as I am and lifting me up so that I may become more of who I AM designed to be!
I sincerely appreciate the warmth of your light.
Shalom
LCB