I’m on Twitter – probably my first mistake – when a man starts putting me down. I’d written an article for a Christian magazine and he disagreed, let’s see, with my words? My tone? My profile photo? Who knows? In the end, he took the low road, blasting me, my race, and my gender.
In reply, I simply wrote this: “Wow. If that was supposed to hurt, it did.”
Later, however, I began to ask myself a curious question: does this guy talk to women this way all the time — not just to African American women? He seemed obsessed with knocking my ethnicity, but did he routinely find women on social media, dump on their souls, then get on with his day?
I reflect on this today because of what we’re hearing during this political season. In the U.S., more women than ever are running for Congress, and as candidates, they’ve become prime targets for ugly insults as if that’s okay. (It’s not.)
In Virginia, a small-town mayor, posted on Facebook, “Joe Biden has just announced Aunt Jemima as his VP pick.” After apologizing, he defended his comment, saying it was “humorous.”
Even before this year’s election, some musical genres have built lucrative careers putting down women – with some women sadly adopting the same putdowns to describe themselves.
Even in our own homes, a woman might face verbal assault. A verbal abuser, says philosophy professor Dr. Berit Broggard, “will define your reality, decide what you can or cannot do, and treat you (in their eyes) as an ugly part of themselves, a part that they have to undermine in order to keep their own sense of self.”
Altogether, these things have me thinking about women and how we are seen, in contrast, by the Lord. In short, when it comes to women, I’m not asking what would Jesus do, but how does He see us?
Here is my humble conclusion: Jesus sees us as worthy of respect. “Respect” literally means to be seen a second time — yes, in a new way, as worthy of regard.
I’m compelled, in fact, that during a time in history when women were seen as vile, petty, unclean, jealous, sinful, and more (the list is long), Jesus shows the opposite. How?
He talks to women. This in itself is remarkable. In Bible times, women were second-class citizens who couldn’t enter a synagogue for worship. They couldn’t touch the Scriptures, or else they’d “defile” them. Rarely were women even spoken to by men – even their own husbands. Thus, in all things by law, according to the historian Josephus, women were considered “inferior to the man.”
But here’s Jesus in Samaria, talking to the woman at the well, violating three longstanding Jewish customs, says scholar Jack Zavada. First, He spoke to her. Next, He didn’t discriminate against her, even though Jews of that era traditionally despised Samaritans. Third, He asked her to give Him a drink of water, “although using her cup or jar would have made him ceremonially unclean.”
Why would Jesus do this? We could argue He breaks these rules to show us who we are as women. But how about a bigger, deeper answer? In breaking rules about interacting with women, the Lord shows us who He is and who we, as women, are in Him.
The Lord is our Redeemer, our holy Change Agent, our Living Water, our Blessed Hope for today and tomorrow. After encountering Him, we become all He intends us to be.
As the woman at the well declares, “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did. Could this be the Messiah?” (John 4:29).
In her village, people who probably never gave her the time of day recognize something has changed in her. She’s not the same woman. The Twitter trolls can’t harm her. The bullies on the street who call her names can’t devalue her.
Jesus knew all about her and still offered her Himself, the Living Water. His eye-opening acceptance of her changes how everyone else sees her too.
In a harsh and hating world, receiving His acceptance not only speaks of us but also speaks powerfully of Him. We are beloved by Him, and we matter. As we treat each other that way, may the watching world never forget that too.
Leave a Comment
Barbara Schultz says
Thank you for this, Patricia. Your comment (‘Even in our own homes, a woman might face verbal assault. A verbal abuser, says philosophy professor Dr. Berit Broggard, “will define your reality, decide what you can or cannot do, and treat you (in their eyes) as an ugly part of themselves, a part that they have to undermine in order to keep their own sense of self.”’) was so very helpful for me personally. For all those who, like me, have been affected in this way, please believe what Jesus says about you. Maybe that’s why the Samaritan woman’s encounter with Jesus is one of my favourite stories. God bless you, Patricia. Barbara
Patricia Raybon says
Blessings today, Barbara. Special thanks, indeed, for mentioning that quote by Dr. Broggard. I almost didn’t add it since the article isn’t about domestic violence. But I just couldn’t delete it. I’m so grateful to hear that it helped you personally. May the Lord’s great love for your remind your daily that He sees you–and you matter! With His wonderful love!
Michele Morin says
When I teach about this, I love sharing with women the historical/archaeological evidence that ‘s found in first century grave sites where the spread of Christianity can be traced by the health and wholeness of the remains of women in those digs. Where Jesus’s teachings were followed there were fewer broken bones and less evidence of starvation and abuse among the women and the children from those cultures. That almost brings me to tears every time I think of it.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Wow, Michele…how fascinating and how revealing about what Christ’s love can do!
Bev xx
Patricia Raybon says
Wow, Michele. Now, that is extraordinary information. What a confirmation that Jesus’ great love for women makes a world of difference. Thank you so much for sharing this here. With His love!
Sarah says
Michele, that is fascinating! Can you link to any articles about it? I’d love to learn more.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Patricia,
Having been on the receiving end of verbal and emotional abuse, I know firsthand how another’s words and actions can tear you down. If you hear something negative about yourself long enough, you begin to believe it’s true. Nothing could be farther from the truth. In God’s eyes we (women) are fearfully and wonderfully made. I find it interesting that the first person Jesus reveals himself to as the Messiah by saying, “I am He,” is the Samaritan woman at the well. The beginning of Jesus’ ministry starts with a woman who’s among the dregs of society. He doesn’t see her for her sins, He “re-sees” her with love and respect. He declares her worth to her. If we’ve been beaten down by the words of others, Jesus stands at the ready to redefine who we are in His eyes. Oh, that we would dig, eagerly, into His Word and find the words of truth He speaks over us and, in turn, give our lives to Him. Beautiful!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Patricia Raybon says
Blessings dear Bev — and thank you for sharing. It hurts my heart to hear that you’ve experienced verbal and emotional abuse. As women, indeed, it serves us so beautifully to recall the Samaritan woman’s encounter with Jesus, especially in her cultural context. His revelation to her is simply world-changing. Oh, what a mighty savior! May we each remember every day that, in His sight, we are worthy of receiving His best. Both by word and deed. Sending much love today!
Terri J. says
Thank you for your words! They are much needed and hopefully will be heard.
Peace
Patricia Raybon says
Terri, thanks so much for your kind feedback today. May every woman who follows Jesus learn and know that, in His sight first, we are worthy. To Him be the glory!
Barbara K Rothman says
Thank you Patricia for writing such a compassionate & loving view from our Lord. He’s the one that matters most of all right? I also grew up with people treating me horribly because I was Jewish. I along with my family was called so many hateful names & treated rudely. My Dad actually had all 4 tires of his car slashed one night while his car sat in the parking lot of his work! He got off at midnight to find this!!! I grew up in a suburb of Los Angeles back in the 60’s.
When I became a Christian I learned of unconditional love & try to show this to my family & friends as well as people I meet anywhere, i.e., grocery stores waiting in line, at church with someone I don’t know, etc. I send out cards that I’ve purchased with DaySpring to encourage people.
We need love & peace in our world today! People need Jesus!!!
Lord bless you Patricia in your work & encouraging others!
Barbara
Patricia Raybon says
Blessings, dear Barbara — and thanks for sharing your extraordinary story. I’m dismayed to read the horrible treatment that you and your family experienced. To hear how Jesus has healed your heart and sent you on a mission to show His unconditional love is uplifting and amazing. In this broken world, thank you for shining His light while showing women here how we can do the same. We must answer this call to love–in word and deed. I’m so grateful you shared here today!
Tonya says
Good morning!
Thank you for this beautiful reminder.
Peace and blessings to you!
Patricia Raybon says
Blessings, dear Tonya. I’m so grateful this reflection ministered to you today. His peace and blessings to you!
Mary Kaufmann says
Patricia
Sincere thanks for your sharing and the detailed spiritual insights which
support women in living & journeying through their daily lives.
Thank you to all that have commented. Your shared experiences and
encouraging ways are oh so helpful.
Peace, Love & Blessings as we all continue our journey.
mary
Patricia Raybon says
Blessings, Mary — and I agree so much. The sharing here from others has been so helpful. I’m encouraging bye the personal reminders that, in Christ, we can arise in this world and love. Thanks so much for joining me in affirming that. His blessings on you!
Denise B says
I have always believed Jesus gets women. He knows we are stronger than we seem, that is why we give birth, that is why we were first to the tomb, while the men hid, why we wanted to touch His coat and why defying the norm of sitting and listening to Him preach. I also read somewhere that Jesus meets women where we are. He knows better than anyone that women have way to much to do, to be able to spend 40 days in the dessert or to retreat to the mountains these are the luxuries of men not women. That is why Jesus met the woman at the well, He knew He had to meet her where she was in life. Men and Women each have a specific purpose in God’s plan but I also believe God wants His Bride to shine to be a light and as time marches on from biblical times to modern times the light of women just gets brighter and brighter with Our Lord and Savior Leading the Way!!!
Patricia Raybon says
Amen, dear Denise! I love your perspective. Like you, I didn’t want my article to be a statement about men vs. women. Still, as women, may we consider deeply how the Lord sees us and how he meets us, as you say, “where we are.” In this broken world, may He continue to light our way as we seek to share Him and serve! His blessing on you, indeed!
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Patricia we are all beautiful in Jesus eyes. I know I never had kids. I was not that brave to have any. But I do love them don’t get me wrong. I was a Registered Childminder for 19 years. But no not that brave to have any. But look at people like you. Who do give birth how brave you are. You women do something a man can’t. That is bring something beautiful into the world. That is life. Another beautiful human being. A we baby. That is a blessing that God gave most women. As there are some who can’t give birth. For what ever reason and that sad. When they so much want a child of their own. Jesus still see the that person not a failure. But as beautiful person with other talents. Yes they may be hurt. But if they are saved Jesus will help them through time heal. As it hard on them when they see family and friends with kids of their own. When they can’t have any. No matter how they try. Jesus see us all as special. It teaches us that we are loved. No matter what hard things we go through. Like the women at the well Jesus was there for her. He still showed her love. Jesus still loves us no matter what. Jesus don’t care what skin color we have. We will always be special to him. Plus Daughters of the king. Like the kids song I was taught at Sunday School. Jesus Love all the Children of the world Red and Yellow Black And White. We his Followers are to do the same. Love all people of all skin colors. You get the song on YouTube. It is a song. That applys for us as adults today. Especially if saved. Plus if you listen to the Father’s Love Letter On Line. On YouTube type in “The Father’s Love Letter” it will tell you just how much God love you why he loves you. It worth listening to. Love Patricia your readings and today’s. Still praying for you and your Daughter and her Family. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xxx
Patricia Raybon says
Blessings, wonderful Dawn — and thank you so much! I’m excited to listen to the Father’s Love Letter. I’d not seen that before. Thank you so much for sharing that here. Thank you, as well, for always sharing your thoughts and comments here. As you speak here with your words, may many respect you and listen. I’m so grateful for you. Much peace and love, Patricia
Annie Gross says
I’ve always felt this way. That you for sharing it so eloquently with the world.
Patricia Raybon says
Blessings, dear Annie, and thank you so much for affirming my humble thoughts here today. May the Lord keep leading us all in His love. With His beautiful peace, Patricia
Annie Gross says
I’ve always felt this way. Thank you for sharing it so eloquently with the world.
Annie O says
I’m so sorry you had that awful Twitter experience, Patricia. Yes, those angry words certainly DO hurt. Who knows what deep-seated reasons he had, but at some level you would expect he knew what he was doing. Which is heartbreaking.
And unfortunately, I don’t think it’s just (certain) men against women, as lately I’ve seen plenty of women being ridiculously nasty to other women. I have been at the receiving end of that as well. But thank goodness we have Jesus’ example!
So when people (no matter their gender) decide to fling their ugly words and bile at us, we can rest in Jesus’ acceptance and respect, and pray that someday they will be able to do the same. A lovely reminder!
Patricia Raybon says
Amen, dear Annie. In this present day, it’s all too common to see people — including women, as you mentioned — lashing out at others in the worst way. The Lord is calling us to higher ground. May we respond with His love and, as you say, rest in His acceptance of us, and in His respect for us — then inspire us to show the same to others. Thank you for affirming this pathway. May He lead us with His love, and may we follow! With His beautiful peace, Patricia
Beth Williams says
Patricia,
People are getting meaner these days. It seems no matter where you go–social media, TV talk shows, news, etc. people are putting each other down. We as Christians are called to a higher ground than that. We are called to love each other no matter what. Thank you for bringing up the Samaritan woman. Hers is an important story. I believe that Jesus talked to her for several reasons. First he knew she needed to be seen & loved. Secondly He knew she would go & tell others. Women want to share their goodness with others. That is exactly what she did. The old saying sticks & stones may break my bones but words will never hurt is but a lie. Words hurt. Words said in anger, prejudice or outright hatred are very hurtful to the receiver. Thankfully Jesus is there to help counter act those nasty words. He redefines who we are as women. Thank you for writing this very important post.
Blessings 🙂
Becky Keife says
Patricia, I love that you highlight the fact that Jesus spoke to women! And not only a stranger at a well (which is one of my favorite accounts in Scripture for all the reasons you mentioned), but Jesus also chose women as some of His closest friends: Mary and Martha, along with their brother Lazarus. Jesus loved them, spoke honestly with them, challenged them, heard from them, and came to them to weep together in their time of grief. What a friend we have in Jesus.
Diana says
Amen, Sister.
Diana says
Amen, Sister.
Preach it!