I stare at the words I’ve read and reread for the last few hours, but my brain refuses to comprehend what it needs to do. Forcing myself to sit at my desk hasn’t helped move the work along, but my stubbornness keeps me seated. I watch the cursor blink in the same spot, telling me I’m wasting my time, but how do I tap into my creative side, how do I generate work, when I feel completely poured out — empty?
I hear the kids call for me from the backyard to watch them do somersaults in the pool for the tenth time in the last half hour. I want to relish these last days of summer with them, but I’m pulled by the stern demands of deadlines. I tell them I’ll be there in a second, but we all know a second can stretch into eternity with nothing to come of it.
I click through the many other tabs open on my computer to find something that will require minimal thinking, but every task and project are at the point where they need my focused attention. I close my eyes, close the laptop, take some deep breaths, and surrender.
I lean back in my chair, resigned and frustrated at my inability to push through, but in that quiet moment by myself, I sense a different pull in my heart — an urgent invitation to rest. It doesn’t demand from me as the deadlines do, but it does warn me that if I don’t take a break, I will break eventually.
I reflect back on the last six months and notice how much I’ve needed to care for everyone around me. Rest seemed like a luxury I couldn’t afford to have for myself, and I started to believe that the mark of a generous, loving person was to give until I had nothing left. It’s the unhealthy belief that I had grown up with — that being like Jesus means martyring ourselves at the altar of service to others, that our holiness isn’t founded on Christ’s righteousness but on the scars we bear, on how far our arms have been stretched for the sake of others.
But we are not robots created for incessant work nor are we the saviors of the world. And rest is essential.
Rest is resistance to a do-it-all culture that tells us to prove our worth. When our value is measured by what we can offer, our humanity is hollowed up and thrown away. It’s no wonder we can so self-righteously determine a person’s destiny by their usefulness, instead of seeing them as beloved, cherished human beings just as they are — just as we are.
We rest to resist. We rest so we can keep going. We rest because we have limits and because we can trust God with all that needs to get done.
Adrenalin had concealed the full weight of what I had been carrying, and now, as I sit still at my desk, I can feel it all. My body and mind and soul are weary. I am spent. I have come to the end of my strength to carry on.
The lie that I’m only as valuable as what I produce still lures me to open my laptop and keep pushing through, but I decide to heed the warning to rest. I walk away from my desk, get into my swimsuit, and to the gleeful delight of my kids, jump into the pool.
I witness their somersaults underwater and swim with them from one end to the other. I marvel at how much they’ve grown and how much faster they can swim. This has been a hard year, and there is so much we won’t get back again when it’s over — including this moment of pure fun.
I float on my back and watch the tops of the trees sway in the wind. The sun peeks through the branches, monarch butterflies flit gracefully across our yard, and I rest, embraced by the warmth of the day and held by the waters below.
Leave a Comment
Lydia says
Yes!!! Such truths in the rest!!! Thank you for sharing your heart today! I always enjoy reading your thoughts and words of challenge and encouragement! God bless you as you keep trusting Him, resting In Him amid the strife of life and the joys of the journey!! I hope that you continue to grow in your faith and that the fall plans for your family will come together as the Lord sees fit!
Ann Marie Hesson says
I feel compelled to respond to your post because I am struggling with my faith and reading the last line of your response, “I hope that you continue to grow in your faith and that the fall plans for your family will come together as the Lord sees fit?” touched me in a way you can’t imagine. I have life-changing circumstances that I’m dealing with right now – at times I feel so weary and wonder what the future holds. Your words have helped to open my eyes, my heart, and to trust God more.
lydia says
Thank you for your message Ann Marie! I will add you to my daily prayers.
God bless you with peace and wisdom as you trust Him more. I am reminded of His presence everywhere, all the time, when I listen to the song from Zach Williams and Dolly Parton: There was Jesus. May you find encouragement in it also!
Grace P. Cho says
Thanks, Lydia!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Grace,
I believe that the “good purpose” God is culling from the ashes of this pandemic is that people ARE getting to the end of themselves and they are looking for where or to Whom they should turn. They are worn, weary, and can no longer rely on their own self-sufficiency. We keep forcing ourselves to run back into the game even though we’re exhausted and God, in His mercy, is benching us for our own good. Stop. Sit. Rest. Be still. Abide in me. Come. Breathe. Lay your burden down and lean into my love for you. Let Me carry the ball for awhile. Cannonball into the pool. Keep looking around for all your blessings. Rejoice. Keep trusting and resting, Grace. You’ve got this, and God has you.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Debbie says
Beautifully spoken, Bev. Thank you for your encouragement to all who read your response.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Thanks Debbie for your encouragement. I’m still journeying and learning…albeit slowly.
Bev xx
Grace P. Cho says
Thank you, Bev. Yes, I completely agree with you about what is happening through this pandemic. May we come to the end of ourselves and find ourselves in His embrace.
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Dear Grace yes rest we need it to charge up our batteries. To have the strength to be there for you for your kids and husband if married. I don’t have kids. As was not brave enough to give birth. Don’t get me wrong I love kids. Love my Niece’s and Nephews. Was a Registered Childminder for 19 years. Loved the job. Health problems took me out of the job. Sometimes Jesus in his Word the Bible says come to me all ye who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Matthew 11 verse 28. We have to do that. If don’t do that at times. If we keep on going on our own strength. Doing what we think we can do. Especially if a Mum like you Grace. The House work being there for kids. Especially when they call you as well. Try to put time in for God and his word the Bible and Prayer that means spending time with God. Then time for yourself. The day get so busy you wonder like me how do you get time for yourself and time for God his Word the Bible and Prayer. Then tiredness sets in. Then those who you love could suffer. I done that. I been tired. I been trying to do too many things at once. Not putting God first. Then what important after that. Then doing what. Matthew 11 verse 28 says taking time to rest in the arms of Jesus. When I stopped and put God first his Word the Bible and Prayer first in my life. Then the importance things in my life. Then taken time to rest in the arms of Jesus like Matthew 11 verse 28 says. I found myself to be a better nicer person to people. They said Dawn you are so much nicer. I can with the help of Jesus then get all things I need done that day. I am happier in myself. I have God to thank for that. As I done things the right way round. Put God first in everything. Also made sure I had time to rest also. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xxx
Grace P. Cho says
Yes, thank you, Dawn!
Kathleen Burkinshaw says
Grace, your posts always inspire me. Thank you for reminding me what rest is as a gift from God and that it is OK to feel that,way. This month while wonderful to honor my mom for 75th anniversary of atomic bombing was an honor. But just yesterday my body forced me to accept that it has been emotionally and physically painful as well as exhausting. My mental state has been running on fumes of anxiety and “must do this” So your words are like a hug for my soul. Praying for you, your family and all of your readers. ❤
Grace P. Cho says
Kathleen, thank you for sharing! I resonate with having to do things because we must! And what a great honor to remember your mom for that painful anniversary. I pray this weekend gave you some rest.
Becky Keife says
Beautifully written, Grace, and all so very hard and true. I’m in the struggle with you, friend. It’s so hard to extricate the value of who I am from what I do and produce. The two seem intrinsically woven together. But you’re so right — that’s the world’s weaving, not the hand of our gracious God who loves us just as we are and says come to Him when we are weary. Thank you for this reminder. Love you, friend.
Grace P. Cho says
Thanks, Becky! Love you too!
Margo says
Ahh Grace, this is so honest, true, and relatable. Your image of being held by the water prompted me to urge you to get a copy of David Benner’s little treasure trove of a book called “Surrender to Love”. It isn’t a book to quickly inhale… I’d encourage taking time to linger. But he has a place in it where he explores floating and being held in the water in a very powerful way. I think it would be so meaningful to you, in light of this post! It’s been something truly transformative to me this year… I read it just at the new year. xx
Grace P. Cho says
Thanks for the recommendation, Margo! I’ll look into it!
Kristen says
Thank you. These are so much my thoughts and heart during a busy season of constant work & productivity. It’s good to hear these truths again and again. Thank you for reminding me to rest, be in this moment, and live joyfully ;)!
Grace P. Cho says
Yes!
Theresa Boedeker says
I was raised to be a helper and doer and base my worth on doing until I collapse. And now I am learning to rest. To be in the present. Great post. Need these reminders.
Grace P. Cho says
I was raised the same way and learning to rest has been a journey. I hope you were able to rest this weekend. <3
Beth Williams says
Grace,
Lysa Terkeurst in her book “The Best Yes” says that “Saying yes to everything & everyone won’t make you wonder woman.” “It will make you a worn out woman”. Worn out women have nothing left to give to family, friends or work. Jesus while on Earth went away & rested. God commands us to take a day of rest.
Exodus 20:8-10 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work. The world says do more, be productive, etc. We don’t measure ourselves by the world’s standards but by God’s standards. The schedules & workload of many have changed drastically in 2020. I believe God is calling us to spend more time with family & try to enjoy life a bit more. Take time to notice butterflies, sunsets/sunrises, etc. Just be with Him more.
Blessings 🙂
Grace P. Cho says
Loved that book!
teresa says
Thank you for sharing this. Rest is so important! To just be still and rest
Grace P. Cho says
Yes!! Love you, Tita!
Molly Parks says
Good Morning, nearly noon! Dear Community, you have filled my days with wonderful words and thoughts and ideas and only once in a while was I up to replying. My time is currently taken up with medical visits to imaging centers, more exams, more blood work, and scurrying to accomplish something. There is always something in the house that needs to be washed or vacuumed or gathered to the place where I put things that will be displayed on tables and racks and whatever works to allow people to look at them. Think boxes of beautiful magazines sorted according to titles. I have a few favorites and I occasionally clip some recipes but tomorrow begins the month of my 87th birthday and lately, between doctors visits, I have been quietly enjoying a gift one of my daughters-in-love gave me for Mother’s Day.
I love words! and puzzles and limericks and she ordered a very large book of cryptograms for me, large print and over three hundred pages. This one feels like a God winks thought. Here it is. “Only those who have the patience to do simple things perfectly will acquire the skill to do difficult things easily.” Johann Friedrich von Schiller.
I am stopping the use of my nickname and using my real one because my bank papers etc., etc. need to match my medical records. My name is MaryLou Parks and I looking forward to learning how to be 87 years old. Myself and my seven grown children and families, and my sister’s grown children and their families are the survivors of our father’s family line. My younger sister and her husband both passed away last December. God is awesome! and His ways are always right. Thank you for helping me in more ways than you can imagine. God bless each of you lavishly.
Ann O'Malley says
It can be so hard for me to discern God’s will when my body and mind and soul are weary. I’m glad you heard His voice and responded to it.
When I was in a similar situation a few weeks ago, I wrestled with these thoughts: According to Jesus, my life is supposed to be one of sacrificial giving. Do I sacrifice my energy, my mind, my sanity by pushing myself to do more, to put others’ needs before my own? Do I plunge ahead, reciting the promise, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13 NIV)? He has refused me that strength many times in the past. Sometimes His will includes my weakness.
Or do I give in to the urge to spend even more time than usual relaxing? Can I justify my inactivity by arguing that I might not accomplish a lot, but I will do a few things well, with a clear head and calm emotions? Will God judge me for my negligence, or is He sitting up in heaven shaking His head and sighing with compassion over my tendency to push myself too hard? (From my blog at https://thosewhoweep.blogspot.com/2020/08/today.html.)
In the end, I took the breaks that I needed, but also managed to complete some of the less demanding things on my to-do list.
Thank you for sharing this experience and reminding us of the wisdom of resting.