In the week after my husband lost his job, I remember the feeling of desperation that crept in at night. I would lie awake in bed, wondering how we were going to make it, financially and practically.
My husband was sending out his resume and applying for positions; he was making calls and networking. But as the weeks piled up, he still had no job offers. I felt overwhelmed every time I thought about our future and how we wanted — and needed — to provide for our children. Emotions in our home ran high.
After three months of the same, I felt helpless. I tried to insist that Michael apply more places and send out more copies of his resume. But as the options for job opportunities narrowed down to almost nothing, my husband became clear in his conviction that it was time for us to wait on the Lord rather than pushing ahead with anything we could manufacture on our own.
So we waited. And we prayed. And we prayed more and more. I felt anxious and scared, but we continued to ask God to open a door for us when it seemed like everything was firmly shut. Because while we were truly helpless to make our own way, we clung to the truth that God could do a “new thing” — that He could make “a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” for our family (Isaiah 43:19 NIV).
I read the Bible with a heart hungry to see God provide for His people. I was stunned afresh by the parting of the Red Sea, and how the Lord tangibly provided a new path for His people to freedom — a path where there had never been one before (see Exodus 14). I was comforted by the beautiful provision of Jesus’ multiplication of the few loaves and fish — and how, in His hands, the little that was brought to Him became enough. Time and again, I marveled at how Jesus offered healing and wholeness and hope for those who came to Him, and how those who looked to Him for provision and grace were given just what they needed.
My faith in God began to grow stronger than my fear, and I started to truly believe that the same God who made a way for the Israelites through the Red Sea would make a way for us. The same Lord who gave food to the hungry and healing for the broken would provide for us.
Still, nothing changed.
But when we were nearly five months out from Michael’s job loss, I had a moment where I looked around at our life. I had been assuming that God’s breakthrough in our lives would look like a new job for my husband. But as I took an account of the months we had been walking through, I realized that we were already living in His care and provision. By His grace alone, we were still standing. We had been able to pay our bills every month. We had food in the fridge and gas in the car. Our kids were thriving and growing. We were in the middle of living out a miracle, and it had happened right under my nose.
Everything had changed — not in our circumstances, but in me.
I saw my life with a new perspective — not through the lens of loss (as real as it was), but through the lens of God’s provision. The unexpected check in the mail — a miracle. The discount on groceries that week — a miracle. Help paying for school supplies — a miracle. The phone call that led to an unexpected job interview — a miracle.
We had what we needed every day. It wasn’t what we would have chosen, and it wasn’t what we wanted. But the Lord provided for us. And in God’s way and timing — nearly seven months after that first week where I couldn’t sleep for fear of the future — He moved us to a new state and gave my husband a new job. He made a way for us. He changed our circumstances.
But first, He changed me.
In His hands, the little that is brought to Him is enough. -@annswindell: Click To Tweet Leave a Comment
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
I remember a time like that with my husband years ago. We had big dission to make. My Husband said we can’t afford to tithe. With what little money I getting. We need ever penny for bills and God will have to do without he said. Then an older friend who is now in Glory today said to my Husband. But you can’t afford not too. It is God who gave you all you have. I looked at my Husband said all those years ago yes she right. Out of what little money he had my Husband tithed to God. We continue to pray and trust God. Through that rough time. It was a big test. All the job interviews filling in job forms going down to job market. It was hard. But we kept trusting God. Sometimes God let’s these things happen for a reason too see how strong your faith is in him. To see will you tith to him even when you say I could do with that extra money towards that bill. But in first place it is God who gave it too you. You could get down wonder why God not answering your prayers as quickly as you like. You not getting a job to help pay the bills. But now today you have a job. You look back on those day. God’s hand was in it all. As you and we never needed for anything. All our bills were met we had food on the table. But at the same time we still worried. We still didn’t put or faith in God. God he wouldn’t see us without. Or stuck. God didn’t like it says on Phil 4 verse 19 as it say My God shall supply all your needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus. Not your greed’s. So we have a lot to thank God for. Sometimes I think people who are saved and still have their Jobs. Should show God a lot more thankfulness. As it is God who gave them the Jobs they have. Some not be as greedy as they can be. Wanting the latest laptops tv’s computers etc. There not even still happy when they have them. Greed takes over them. God wouldn’t want that. If they lost their job and had to look for another one. Then they panic. Then if got another one with less money especially in theses times. It might teach them to be thankful for what they have. That they roof over their heads food on their tables clothes on their backs etc. Stop think about people who in world today who don’t have theses things. To if have family to teach them to apperate what they have. Not expect their parents to always be buying them the best. Be thankful for what they have. Be thankful on God for ever day they are alive. As those days my Husband had no Job taught us both that. We have no kids. But to be thankful for the house we have we have food on our table. We say grace before our meals now on to God. Love today’s reading love Dawn Ferguson-Little. Xx
Ann Swindell says
Thank you for sharing your story, Dawn. I’m so grateful that the Lord has met you in and through your journey with him!
My husband and I have just come through a similar season. We knew we would have to wait 4-6 months but that 6 months stretched into 12 months. God provided in big and little ways, none of which were orchestrated by us. It was all Him, and He’s brought us closer to Him and each other in the process. What a good God we serve!!
Ann Swindell says
And what a testimony you have, Penny! I’m so thankful for his kindness and provision to your family. What a gift!
This is wonderful and we also had a similar situation many, many years ago when our children were small. I am so thankful for a God that will and does provide. Everything we have God has provided it and I can’t begin to thank him enough for everything I have.
Ann Swindell says
Yes, you know what it’s like. God carries us, doesn’t he? I’m so grateful.
Thanks for this Ann. It is a great reminder of the everyday miracles we all experience. It does not have to be a red-sea parting or Lazarus-raising miracle to be a MIRACLE
Ann Swindell says
Amen! God works in so many ways! Thanks, Susannah.
Beth Williams says
God is still in the miracle business. We think everything should be copacetic. Most of us don’t like change. Keep it status quo. My hubby got put on furlough earlier this year. You would have thought the end of the world was here. He was very upset. I kindly told him it wasn’t his fault-due to Covid. Be grateful for this stretch of togetherness. It worked out that we were able to get a lot of stuff done around the house. I told him it was God’s hand that you have never been laid off or fired in 32 years working for same company. God sends trials our way to change & mold us into His likeness. I remember when my aging dad got put into geriatric psych unit at hospital. I was scared. In the end God healed him & strengthened my faith & trust muscles. He wants us to trust Hi completely even when the situation looks gloomy like now with pandemic & civil unrest. He can & will make a way in the wilderness.
The Bible is full of stories about how God can use our little & make it big.
Ann, thanks for the comment about your dad. My wife was just put in a geriatric psych ward and it was so scary. God has sustained us though and i am praying for her healing, and my trust muscles to strengthen as well. We are both in our early 70’s and it has been a hard, but good road. My heart has grown faint so many times, but God keeps the feet of his saints. Thank you Ann as well for a gritty, good piece.