Sometimes in the midst of struggle, it’s hard to remember that worry from fear won’t change anything.
I know in my heart that faith is the opposite of fear, that if I go on with my worrying, it means I am not trusting God. I know He is ahead of me on this. He knows what’s happening, He knows what will come ahead. He does not want me to live in fear and worry. He wants a special connection with me where I need Him and call on Him.
I have been struggling for a while with some health issues. One thing after another. Test after test. Waiting. Appointments. More waiting. It has been exhausting. When the right tests came back that sent me to see a specialist, it still took a few months to be seen, but at least I would finally have my answers. Though the appointment was thorough, there were no answers. More specific tests would be needed, and I left the office so disappointed. Even more so, when I made the follow-up appointment for the test results, it was almost a month away. God knows I’ve been trying to be patient, but it has been such a struggle!
As I’ve been waiting and wondering what has been going on in my body, I thought I’d make use of the new online patient portal where I could see all sorts of information, including test results as they came in. I told myself I could figure out what was wrong with me without waiting a month to see the doctor again. Boy, was I wrong. My husband’s advice was to not Google. He said nothing good was going to come of me trying to diagnose myself, but it was too hard to see the results and not Google what they meant.
The results were confusing and worrisome. Probably because I am not a doctor, and I did not study for years and years to understand what all of it meant! But I kept researching, trying to make sense of what made no sense. My weakness as a human let me think I had some kind of control over all of this. I was overthinking, and all it did was create more anxiety and fear.
Instead, what I needed was to remember Jesus’ wise advice about not worrying about tomorrow.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:34 (NIV)
I finally came to the realization that nothing I was going to figure out by Googling my test results was going to change a thing. I was inviting fear instead of admitting it was out of my control, and it was only robbing me of my peace. Worry and overthinking were not going to change my lab results. They would not change what the doctor would tell me. They would not change what would come ahead for my treatment.
Once I let that sink into my heart, I stopped searching for my own answers on Google, and I turned my dependence on God — where it should have been all along.
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)
I can draw closer to Him now because I’m not trying to control everything myself. That control couldn’t give me peace, but God can. I can choose to depend on God’s power and strength instead of my own, leaning fully into Him, knowing He will carry me in my weakness. Because of who He is, I can trust He will always be present.
It was a long drive to and from the doctor that day, almost five hours in the car. And after surrendering my health over to God, my normal overthinking, worrying self was no longer present. God was present. He gave me incredible peace. When the doctor explained my results — a systemic autoimmune disease, I was calm. It could have been better, of course, but it also could have been worse. And at least now I have answers and a plan.
I know I cannot do this on my own. I know I have limits. I know God made me with limits so I could depend on Him, so I could cling to Him and let fear be overcome with faith.
As Jesus says in Mark 5:36, “Don’t be afraid. Just have faith.” Faith and fear don’t go together. Let’s have faith over fear, friends!
God made me with limits so I could depend on Him, so I could cling to Him and let fear be overcome with faith. -Jennifer Ueckert: Click To Tweet Leave a Comment
Jennifer,
I’m glad that you finally have an answer to your physical symptoms. I’m sure having an answer now lets you move on to dealing with it vs. worry about what “it” might be?? I’ve done the Google self diagnose exercise and yes, it just leads to more worry. When we try to be in control, we let fear rule. When we trust, we allow room for peace to make its way into our troubled soul. Easier said than done, but like you said, “God made me with limits so that I would depend on Him.” Not sure why I have to get to the utter “end of myself” before I turn it over to God? Trying to exchange fear for faith earlier on in the process. Great post and I’m sorry you’ve not been feeling well. I hope you can start feeling better and get back to the art you love and enjoy!
Blessings,
Bev xx
Thank you so much, Bev! You are exactly right, answers help me move on to dealing with it now! And I can not wait to get back to my paints! xo
I’m sorry to hear of your illness but at least you have an answer and can make a plan. God will be with you every step of the way.
I’m frustrated myself I’m bored and restless. As I pray for the Lord to heal you and manage your autoimmune condition I also ask for peace and movement Lord I am going stir crazy here! Please help!
IJN, Amen
Oh I hate that feeling, Jas! Praying for peace and movement in your journey!
Thank you for sharing. Your words are what I and I’m sure others need to hear. Praying for your healing.
I am so grateful for the timing of this post for you, Jan. Thank you!
Jennifer,
You’re message sounds like I could have written it. This is me. I’ve been struggling for a couple years with autoimmune issues. I do the Google search and buy the supplements to heal. It’s crazy! I wish I could totally trust God. It’s hard. I’m trying. Too many early childhood memories that weren’t good. Thanks for sharing your story. It gives me hope. Be well. Hugs.
Oh I am so happy to give you some hope, Rita! You are not alone. Autoimmune issues are so confusing and widespread and frustrating and painful. It is really such a struggle and I understand your struggle. Praying for you!
Thankful along with you that you now have an answer to the cause of your symptoms–and you’ve shared a road map here for all of us to follow in our next encounter with the unknown.
I am so grateful you can use this experience as a road map when you need it, Michele. Such a thoughtful comment. Thank you!
This is me and my situation right now – I have some results – I am waiting for the next test. Thank you. I hope and pray God guides you with your new normal.
The endless testing and the endless waiting… it is so hard! I am so sorry you are going through this, Louise. You are not alone! I am praying you receive some answers and help soon!
Great post! Sometimes I allow worry and anxiety to take the place of my dependence on God. When I give my concerns to God He gives me peace.
He sure does do that, Sue! So grateful for it!
Jennifer
I’m praying for you as you are on this journey. May you continue to abide in His strength and peace, as His Word comforts and guides you. Many health issues for myself husband and son as well.
We must daily
“Seek peace and pursue it!”
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning, great is Thy Faithfulness o Lord. The Lord is my portion”, says my soul, Therefore I will Hope in Him! The Lord is good to those who wait on Him, to the soul who seeks Him. “ Lamentations 22-25 &
Isaiah 26:3“You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.”
These are some of my anchor verses thought to share.
Blessings
Brenda
Thank you for these wonderful verses to carry close! I pray for the health of you and your family, Brenda!
Fear is where the Old Devil wants us to be. So scared and full of fear we don’t know what do next. Especially if we have problem. As the Old Devil would us stay worring about it and getting all wound up them. We are not let the Old Devil have the last laugh by letting our problems gets too us. We are to have Faith in Jesus and do as the word of God say in Proverbs 3 verse 5 Trust the Lords with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. Stamp the Old Devil under your feet. Tell him you are going to do what that verse says. Plus go to God in prayer. Ask him (God) in your prayer to help you take away that Fear the Old Devil has put in your mind. As God to give you the Faith to trust him that no matter how big or small the problem you are going through God will help you get through it and stamp the Old Devil under your feet and tell the Old Devil were to go. Then you will have the Faith again to start praising God and putting on Good Godly praise music. The Old Devil will not be long fleeing from your life. In due time with Gods help your problems will shrink. As Faith will win over the Fear in your life. As todays reading Faith and Fear don’t go together. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little
Yes, Dawn! Yes and amen to what you said! Thank you!
Omg I needed to hear this word. Thank you it was for me. I pray to trust in God and stop trying figure out things that are out of my control. I pray to stop searching the internet for answers instead go to God who knows the outcome. God bless
We know better, it just isn’t always easy, is it Mildred? Praying for you as you turn to Him through your journey!
Jennifer, your words touched not only a part of my soul and heart, but my mind as well. I have been trying to control a certain situation when I should be letting God help me because he is in control. I need to trust her has an answer that eventually will be revealed. He can be my strength in the waiting. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I also am living with an autoimmune disease(have been for last 19 years) and yet still try to Google way too much about it progression. I’m praying for you. ❤
It is so hard to give up that control, isn’t it, Kathleen?! Praying He will give you peace and strength in the waiting. Thank you for your prayers. Praying for your health journey as well!
Dear Jennifer, waiting for medical answers has got to be one of the toughest issues we face. Knowing that someone has the answers, but we have to wait and wait for them to be shared with us! Ugh! But we believe in the great “Answerer”, so it would be best for us to rest in that. Good for you! Always willing to learn new ways. I’m still learning and relearning to trust in the Lord. It’s a lifelong journey. May God bless you in your new knowledge!
It really is a lifelong journey, isn’t it, Irene? So much to learn and so many things to keep trying our best at! Thank you!
Dear Jennifer
I have been exactly where you are..Exactly…It is very difficult and I will be praying for you as I know how physically and emotionally and spiritually exhausting it is. I am grateful be on the other side looking forward to life again, but it was a long time (years) to get here. Thank you for sharing…it is important to do so that thousands can be lifting you up and prayer. God is Good All the Time and He’s Got This and You in the palm of His hand. He is the Great Physician and Healer! You can contact me directly if you want to talk. Hugs and prayers.
It is something to look back and know how much time can go by so quickly in our waiting. It really is exhausting in all ways. So grateful to hear you say you are on the other side and looking forward! Praise Him for that! Thank you so much for lifting me up in prayer! xo
Thank you so much for this post! I can SO relate to the mindset of trying to control things through worry and overthinking. I’m facing a situation today that is definitely out of my control, so your reminder is very timely. I’m sure that I will still feel some butterflies when the meeting time comes, but I will “choose to depend on God’s power and strength instead of my own, leaning fully into Him…”
Oh that is so awesome to hear, Rachel! I pray it went well and you could feel His strength with you today!
Wow, just wow. I too struggle with health issues (Fibromyalgia and CFS) after a bout of mono 5 years ago. I’ve never recovered 100% and every day is a struggle. I have been in the same place; googling symptoms; playing dr. I find it so hard to let go and let God in this situation. I do not have total control any longer but He does. Asking for prayers to find strength in my health. Thank you.
My goodness, Christianne! I am so sorry for what you are going through. I had mono close to 3 years ago and have never felt the same since! It is so hard to fight for answers and our health when we feel so exhausted in every way. I understand and you are not alone. I am praying you can lean on Him through this journey and I am praying you find answers and help with your health!
So true that faith and fear don’t go together! I posted on my blog today about anxiety and included a beautiful song that really speaks to the anxiety and fear that we all battle in today’s stressful world. You can check it out here: https://www.inbeautifulchaos.com/sarah-reeves-anxious-music-video/ .
God Bless,
In Beautiful Chaos
I love a song with a good message! Thank you so much for sharing!
Jennifer,
Praying for you & your family. So glad God gave you the answer to your health issues. I am right there with you on the waiting part. I am not a patient person. We mere humans want answers & now. We don’t run on God’s timing. Worrying doesn’t help one bit. It detracts from the perfect peace God wants to give us. God expects us to come to Him for ALL our troubles. He wants true dependence on Him to trust Him fully. He knows the plans He has for us & how He is going to work out a solution. We must show this world acts of faith. That we wait on & for the Lord to answer us without letting fear grip us. Is it easy to do? No! None of us can do it, but try we must. I had to learn patience when my aging dad’s dementia took over. I was fearful some, but knew that God was in control. I pray you start feeling good soon & get back to the art that you love so!!
Blessings 🙂
I echo your thoughts, Beth! It is something we must remind ourselves of daily and try again and again. I am so grateful for your prayers. So looking forward to feeling well enough to get back to painting!
Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? For most of us, strong faith isn’t either. Brick by brick of experience along with the mortar of prayer builds faith that fear can no longer break through. You’ve just added a big brick to yours, Jennifer! Now, praise God, you know what ails you: systemic autoimmune disease. May the medications and/or regimen recommended return you to health and the strength to press on toward His calling upon your life.
Thank you so much for this wonderful perspective, Nancy! I love the thought that I just added a big brick!
I may not have exactly the same medical issues as you do but I have ALL the faith vs. fear issues you do. I have never written a reply to an article before. Yours spoke directly from my heart. Thank you for showing me the way towards peace. God is always the way. Best of health always.
I am honored you reached out with a reply today, T. Thank you. It is nice to know we are not alone in our struggles. Praying for you as you lean on Him when fear creeps in!
I too have been dealing with an infection since August. I now today know it’s most likely a bone infection at the injury site after the results from my bone scan. I am not happy with this outcome. I still don’t have the full answers or treatment as I am waiting for a call for another scan to check on the activity in my bone. My doctor wants me to stop my antibiotics because it has been so long and there are side effects. She said I will be responsible and watch myself before I go septic. She believes I would get treatment so my chance of going septic is low. This waiting and having this inside my body is unnerving. I am more peaceful than I think I should be. Whatever the outcome, God has done for me more than I deserve. He is good always. Nothing changes Him or the circumstance outcome from what He has done, who He is and that I am His child.
Wow, Michelle! So much to be going through all while having beautiful peace. Such a wonderful example for us all. Thank you for sharing! Praying for your health!
Phew. What a journey God has you on. What a beautiful relationship you have that blooms in the midst of all the not knowingness…. that same relationship will bloom even more as you journey onward.
I have had amazing results with crushing anxiety via hypnotherapy. Years and years ago you breathed life into me and direction at a time I needed it most. I would be happy to gift you a free hypnotherapy session (online) … if you would like.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Tricia. I appreciate you so much. xo
Dear Jennifer, thankyou for having the courage to share your journey with us…… but it is your testimony, and brings the power of the Holy Ghost to others who are reading, listening to you. Ive also walked on this road, have been healed of stage 4 lymphoma when I had a very clear and direct word from His Word Ps 118.17 you will not die but live to give me Glory. its a journey of surrender, laying it all down, but it leads to intimacy with HIM, and a way forward on the Highway of Holiness where no lion or beast can walk to harm us. I have also looked at the other responses, and individual needs, and would like to pray for you all, that you receive Gods comfort and peace that passes all understanding, as you linger in the Lords healing presence…. that you will arise and shine in perfect health.
What a testimony you have, Gaewyn! What extraordinary healing… only through Him! Thank you for praying for all the individual needs in the comments. I know everyone appreciates your prayers!
This is so timely, Jen. It seems the Lord is taking us on a journey to trust. In our humanity we want answers and waiting is so difficult. We’ve been there, are there, too. I have done all those fear-filled things, and it wasn’t until I came to the place you so beautifully describe that I found peace. Often it is the very circumstances we fear most that He uses to draw us closer and make us more like Jesus. Praying for you dear heart.
Yes and amen, Linda. Couldn’t have said it any better! Thank you, dear friend.
Jennifer as I even type this I have tears in my eyes thinking and worrying about a financial burden that’s coming up. Your words were clearly divinely timed by God for me to read, and remind me to “be still and know that He is God”. Thank you for sharing your heart and continue to trust God in that hard place. I pray that you would continue to keep your mind stayed on Him, so you’ll be kept in perfect peace (Isaiah 26:3), no matter what the doctor report may say. Believe the report of the Lord (Isaiah 53:1). Again, thank you so much for letting God use you to write this…may God continue to bless you and your family!
Stephanie
Oh, Stephanie, it hurts my heart to hear your pain. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Grateful He spoke to you through these words and I pray you feel His presence and peace in your hard place.
Dear Jennifer,
I just read your post today, Nov. 6.
Thank you. I so badly needed that for I feel like a zombie most of the time anticipating and fearing my 18 year old son to come from long term rehab after an mva that left him a quadriplegic.
Jesus has used your circumstances to help me to continue to have faith today for tomorrow will take care of itself.
May you be blessed and encouraged daily as you live your journey with an autoimmune condition.
Love, Maggie
Oh Maggie, my heart goes out to you! I can not imagine. Shortly after we were married, doctors found my husband had a giant brain aneurysm. He had months of doctors coming up with a plan, a very long brain surgery, followed by so many unimaginable things. I was 22, a newlywed, we lived thousands of miles from home and everyone we knew because of where he was stationed. But you know what, God saw us through and it was a day by day process. Which continues to this day because he has not made a full recovery. Day by day, Maggie. That is the only way to get through something so difficult. When we think about the days ahead, it is just too much. Sending you so many prayers as you care for your dear son! xo
I keep this page open in Chrome on my phone. Everytime I fear (daily!) I look at the title and know God is right there. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this article that speaks directly to my heart and soul. Best of health to us!
That means so much to me, C. Thank you so much for sharing, it is such an encouragement! Praying for your needs!