It’s still dark out, not quite dawn, so I stir. Then rising, I sit for a beat or two on my side of the bed.
“Read to me,” my husband mumbles.
I hear him. I love him. I’m grateful for his request. But can I be honest? I don’t want to read to him right now – not even to read our devotion, which is what he’s asking from me.
First, the sun’s not even up. We’ve had a long, full, messy kind of week, and now it’s Saturday. So, just for a minute, I’d like to sit here on my bed, meet the day, ease into the morning, and maybe get a blessed reprieve from the Lord.
I’d also like to finish this article. It’s due soon, and after the recent horror of Hurricane Dorian, I’m trying to write something faith-related about climate change. A friend and I struggle to talk about it. I’m green. She’s not. So we’ve been at a standoff, and that too feels hard and heavy, maybe even heartbreaking.
So, what now, Lord? How can I give my husband more time? Make peace with my friend? Finish my article? And love You better, too?
It’s another “little” prayer, but doesn’t praying it and asking God for answers make me right?
I don’t hear His reply, so for a break, I take myself outside to my humble little garden. Puttering a bit in the soil, I pull weeds, deadhead flowers, water the thirsty, prune the disobedient.
In the tending, I take some deep breaths and feel myself relax. A neighbor across the street comes outside too and waves. She and I meet in the middle of our street and chat a bit. Then, as praying people would expect, I start to hear from the Lord.
A gentle answer turns away wrath.
It comes from Proverbs 15:1. Indeed, it’s godly wisdom. And then, another one:
A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel (Proverbs 15:18).
Standing in my little garden, I’m not surprised the Lord has answered this way. I could’ve been kinder and more attentive to my husband this morning. With my not-green friend, I could grant her the same thing – more kind attention.
Apparently, I forgot, as the late theologian Howard Thurman put it, “the ethical necessity” of dealing with others, not as I would have them deal with me but to deal with them “as I deal with myself.”
Or as Jesus urged, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:30-31).
I can’t deny what that means. It means we give the same leeway and understanding to others as we give to ourselves. It means taking time to read to my loving husband and not arguing with my not-green friend.
It might feel like tough marching orders. Like most, my plate stays too full, and I run out of steam. I get cranky with my husband. Regarding Earth, I want my friend to “see the light” – accepting global warming as fact, with the world running out of time to fix it.
Or I could follow the man from Galilee. I hear His gracious Spirit telling me that, in human problems and conflicts, outcome matters. But first comes process.
So, I go back in the house and talk to Dan. He’s in the kitchen fixing his breakfast, finished already reading today’s devotional, but we talk about it. It’s from Psalm 37:7-9, which simply says, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him . . . Refrain from anger and turn from wrath.”
My impatience with others, therefore, has no place in a life with Christ. Sure, it’s one thing to believe I’m right about various things. It’s far better, however, to love and be redemptive than be right.
Yes, God knows Hurricane Dorian ripped apart islands in the Bahamas, killing beautiful people and leaving the front-line Caribbean in climate-change splinters. But what else happened?
First, even as the storm raged, neighbors helped neighbors. Families helped friends. Strangers helped strangers. Were people arguing? Debating climate change? Thundering over who was right?
They, instead, were being redemptive, giving of themselves and sacrificing their own safety and comfort.
Then, in making these connections, people talked. And loved. And helped.
This is the way of Christ. As Paul said, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).
It’s only then that we can heal our beautiful earth, that we can love each other inside our homes, that we can forgive our cross-ways friends. But first? We need to let God heal our hearts, and from there, His redemptive good happens.
It’s far better to love and be redemptive than be right. -@PatriciaRaybon: Click To Tweet Leave a Comment
Good Monday-morning words, Patricia, as we process all the life on life of the weekend.
I remember Elisabeth Elliot lamenting her own tendency to “make an idol of being right”– and, truly, in the moment, it’s more satisfying to be right than to be kind. Thanks be to God for his Spirit of Truth who brings us around to love.
Amen, Michele. Yes, I’m grateful too for His beautiful Spirit of Truth. (And being “right,” in the end, isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.) Thanks for sharing today! With His love, Patricia
Patricia,
I can so relate to wanting to be “right.” I get frustrated when others, especially those closest to me can’t “see the light” of my right way of thinking. But, as my wise father used to say, “You can win the battle and lose the war.” What is the endgame in all of this? To be right or to win others for Christ by demonstrating His kind of ever-patient love? Losing the need to be right all the time means taking a big spoonful of humility. Humility can taste bitter. Since a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, I need to meditate on scripture verses, like the ones you quoted, in order to smooth the way, for God’s Word, to enter my heart. I will remember to switch gears to being “redemptive” over being “right.” There’s a lot at stake. Great reminder this am.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Bev, your wonderful father sounds wise, indeed. As you shared, I’ve too have been trying to recall the Bible’s many scripture verses on letting a soft answer turn away wrath — and then to act like it. I’m grateful for this godly instruction. Such a great help to our relationships! May God help us all to walk in His redemptive love — moment by moment, day by day. With love and thanks, Patricia
Your words are like a salve to my soul this morning. I’ll take this, “My impatience with others, therefore, has no place in a life with Christ. Sure, it’s one thing to believe I’m right about various things. It’s far better, however, to love and be redemptive than be right.” with me this week as I step forward in the love of Christ. Thank you for this healing reminder.
Sara, warmest thanks for connecting today. I didn’t know this reflection would be published on a Monday. However, I agree with you that, for the start of a week, a reflection on loving over being “right” puts us all on the right path. Let it be , O Lord! And may your week be beautifully blessed. With His love, Patricia
I am finding it easier to love unconditionally as God love us especially with my family. In spite of thing said and done they are still family and we don’t have a choice.
I truly enjoy reading these to let me know I am not along in my thinking.
Gail, you are so right. When it comes to family, the Lord invites us to just love. Yes, certain situations can challenge us. But loving like Christ can mend many wounds and move us from conflict to peace. Every family needs that! Thanks for sharing, and grace and blessings on your family all week! Peace and love, Patricia
Great words to start a new week, Patricia. I can certainly relate to ” wanting to be tight”. It’s often hard especially with things that we are worried about and think needs to be discussed.
Hurricane Dorian was horrific and dismantled people’s lives. But just as storm Imelda just flooded areas around here in Houston. It’s terrible, yes, climate change is real and we need to find out what we all can work to help. But, as you mention, I saw people of every race and ethnicity helping others. I saw people hugging, telling others, ” it will be ok”, offering food and shelter. In these moments, although tough, watching the love that is shown and compassion makes me smile as I know we still have hope. Together, we can do this and God will lead the way.
BTW I love that you read your morning devotional to your husband. ❤️
Jen, I watched the flooding in Houston on the news and, yes, once again, I saw people reaching out to help one another. Just the sight of neighbors helping neighbors, and strangers helping strangers, is encouraging and warms the heart. May the Lord help us to show such love to each other all the time, not just during these disasters — even when things need to be discussed. Oh, it’s a challenge, but a soft answer does turn away wrath. May this beautiful principle bless you and yours all week!
How blessed you are that your husband wants you to read devotions to him! For years my husband & I read the Bible together & prayed together; however, 3 1/2 years ago he accepted a false cult as the truth & you would not believe all the garbage they teach..His mind is messed up. God needs to heal his mind. Sometimes, we need to walk in somebody else’s shoes to appreciate what we do have. Many things happen we will never understand “why”; however, we do know that God is in control & He knows everything, even the weather destruction. God be with you!
Frances, thank you for sharing today. I lift up you and your husband to the Lord today. May God strengthen your faith and keep you believing in His delivering power for your husband. Yes, God is able! Blessings as you keep praying in hope and believing by faith. You are so right — God is in control, knows everything and He’s still in the healing business, body and mind and soul. In the meantime, may He give you His peace! With His love today, Patricia
Beautiful words, thank you for this! Such a humble, perspective-changing way of seeing disagreements.
Barbara, thank you so much. God’s Word truly helps us to put down our arms and just love. Praying His love in your life all week. To Him be the glory! In peace and friendship! Love, Patricia
Thank you, Patricia! This was perfect timing for me. I have to rush through my quiet time this morning so I can go out crabbing with my husband. I hate crabbing but my husband loves it. And he needs a partner. So I’m “it”. You helped me see that I need to put Mike’s need for this ahead of my own. I won’t rush through my quiet time. I will just choose to do a bit less in that and a bit more helping him. That’s doable. And I need to breathe through it and do it all with joy. Oksy.
Amen, Irene! With a good choice! Your plan to spend time with your husband sounds beautiful. May the Lord bless your crabbing time with His bounty, provision, and love. Then, have a wonderful week, too! With peace and joy, Patricia
Patricia,
This world needs less bickering, hatred & disunity. We need more kindness, love & redemption. It is amazing that we have such disunity in our country, yet when trials come-like hurricanes-people tend to put differences aside & help each other. I remember hearing of a 6-yr. old who saved up to go to Disney World. When Dorian hit he emptied his piggy bank & brought hot dogs, & other foods. He opened a stand for evacuees going through his town. He gave them FREE hot dogs, chips, water & prayer. He loved his fellow neighbor. He didn’t care about right or wrong just showed God’s redemptive love to everyone. We can argue over topics & make a point or like the boy we can put differences aside & love each other.
Blessings 🙂
Amen, Beth! And what a wonderful story. I hadn’t heard about the 6 year old using his saved money to help evacuees. What a beautiful gift. Indeed, you are so right, we need more of this from each other every day — not just during a disaster. The Lord’s Word shows us the path to this redemptive living. May His Spirit guide us to heed and follow. Thanks for sharing and have a beautiful and loving week!
Yes, sweet truth. More and more God is showing me to look at the needs of the other person and to seek to understand. God meets our needs as we seek to put others first.
Well said, dear Denise. “God meets our needs as we seek to put others first.” Amen! As we walk this journey by faith, May His Spirit lead and guide our hearts and steps. Many blessings on you as you chose this path, and warmest thanks and love for sharing today!
Thank you, Patricia!
Patricia,
Please remind our sisters that, though the storm is long gone, there are hundreds of Christ led volunteers working in sweltering heat to give assistance to victims of Dorian, Florence and a couple of other storms I’m Puerto Rico, the Bahamas, and the coast of NC. Please pray for their physical, emotional, and spiritual health; traveling mercies; and safety. Pray for more people to answer the call to go and help. In better times I have “been there; done that” and know what those prayers mean.
Thanks for your lovely reminder of how to love others better.
Charlene
Thank you, Charlene. Your reminder is timely and urgent. Let us pray the Lord’s strength, courage and provision for every volunteer serving in affected areas — and may your comment here, Charlene, inspire more to help, support and serve. Send your comfort and help, O Lord! With thanks and gratitude, Charlene, for all you have done and are doing in His Name!
Great devo! Forwarded it to several friends. Thank you for your Spirit-led words!
Thanks so much, Melanie. Warmest thanks for reading and sharing. You are appreciated! Blessings, Patricia xoxo
Maybe you and I can help each other get along with people on the other side of the climate issue. I do not believe in Climate change. I believe that the whole world has been tainted by sin and that we are to be good stewards of what God has given to us in terms of the earth. I believe we should care for animals and have gardens and more green spaces; but I do not believe that we have to take radical steps like getting rid of cows or eliminating the use of fossil fuels in the radical ways the left speaks of it. I also do not believe in the government of the earthly kingdoms governing our lives. Each of us may contribute to the healing of the earth in our own ways. Every form of energy comes with a price, not just changing the climate (which has scientific evidence both pro and con). The summer fuel they use in the northeast to “help the planet” makes me sick to my stomach” if I have to smell it sitting in traffic. Windmills kill many types of birds if not properly laid out. Solar Power sounds great, but can be very costly. I have many friends who are green like you and it is just as hard for those of us on the other side to be loving and kind and not be tempted to “correct the views of others.” Pray and let God do that. On many issues where God does not spell out what we should do, beyond being good stewards of the earth… I think that prayer is the best way to handle it. I find that sometimes it is best not to speak unless asked my opinion and to keep it as such… an opinion. Finding areas of agreement, like trying to use real plates and not endless paper plates or driving less and walking or biking more can be common ground for some. As far as your husband and reading to him is concerned, both of you should be willing to give one another grace to have some days where you may not want to read out loud … but may prefer to spend time with the Lord on your own. Space and grace… prayer and finding common ground… seem to be ways to love those around you in a Godly way without insulting others.
Thanks, Bonnie Jean, for sharing your thoughts. You certainly are wise to recommending that “prayer and finding common ground” is a beautiful way to connect to others in our lives — those close to us, such as a husband or family member, or others in the Body of Christ with whom we may disagree on one matter or another. Thus, when it comes to climate change, rather than fight for our own points of view, may God help us to pray about it and then ask Him to show us common ground to begin talking it through. If I don’t do that, I get drawn into arguments about who believes what — or, “how can you not believe the obvious and scientifically documented problem of climate change”! Those fights aren’t getting any of us anywhere. True, I disagree with your viewpoint, and I could cite you, chapter and verse, a zillion scientific articles on the urgency of addressing global warming now. Looking to the Lord, however, He exhorts me to first love. Love you for being a fellow believer. Love you for taking time to connect here today. Love you for caring enough to share your thoughts and views. If all us in the Body of Christ begin to do more of that — love one another — the Lord can move us all closer to Him, the source of every answer, the Healer of every problem, both in the earth and of the earth. When the world sees us loving each other that way, they’ll be drawn more to Christ. I pray He keeps showing us all how to do that! With peace and His love, Patricia